Redneck Bar & Grill

How’s it goin’ eh?  As promised I have for you  the interview that will give all your lives meaning.  I’ll post it here word for word, exactly as it happened.

Ernie: I’m sitting here drinking a cold Blue Beaver Beer and joining me is one of the Blue Beaver girls.  Jasmine, why don’t you say hello to everyone out there in cyberspace-land.

Jasmine: Hello, everybody.

E: Thank-you for agreeing to this interview Jasmine.  Say, I couldn’t help but notice your jugs.

J: Yes; as you requested when you paid me, I’m showing off my jugs of the original Blue Beaver beer as well as the new Honey Brown Beaver variety.

E: How does Honey Brown Beaver taste, Jasmine?

J: Pretty much like you would expect, dark and rich with just a slight hint of sweetness.  Would you like some?

E: I would very much like to sample your Honey Brown Beaver…beer. ( a pause here for a glass of the lager)  Well, that is very tasty.  So, Jasmine, tell me how you came to be a Blue Beaver Girl.

J: Well, I was working at a pub when the new Green Beaver variety was first launched.  Even though Blue Beaver was easily the most popular brand of beer we carried, the majority of our clientele was very apprehensive about change.  Our manager told us all to push the Green Beaver and sell as much as possible; so that’s what i did.  Few men can resist my charm when I really turn it on and soon I was selling more of the beer than any of the other servers.  Because of our high sales, a rep from the brewery came by to visit.  When he mentioned in passing that they were searching for a new Blue Beaver Girl, I realized that was my ticket out of that dive.  So I turned on the charm and in no time I was on the road promoting Blue Beaver all over the country.  Of course, the drawback is listening to all the innuendo, but I am well paid for that aggravation.

E: Wow, not only have you got great charms and tasty jugs…of beer, you’re very well spoken too.  May I say that you’re a babe?

J: Not unless you want to become personally familiar with the ins and outs of a sexual harassment lawsuit.

E: And a law student to boot.  Hmm, "ins and outs", that brings something to mind.  Oh, yeah I have to go "out" and put this interview "in" my blog.  But first, I’ll finish off this Honey Brown Beaver that I have in front of me.  Thank-you, Jasmine.

J: Yeah whatever, Eric.

E: That’s actually Ernie.  Well, buh-bye then.

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