Redneck Bar & Grill

Hello again, nature lovers! Once more we have come up with a show which will fill you with wonderment and awe. Watch today as our filmographer tracks a homoslobian while he attempts to provide for his family, or ‘bring home the bacon.’ And yes, for those of you who are politically ‘correct’, we are aware that some of the females of the species also gather for the family. Today we are examining a male. Therefore we will be incorrect.
The male leaves the den in the morning after a brief preening session which may include a drink called ‘coffee’. Some of the members of this species believe that, without caffeine, life is worthless. They are absolutely right.
He grooms his plumage, sometimes into a ‘combover’. A male with one of these is definitely looked at with admiration by both men and women.
He will quite often leave early in the morning when the rest of the ‘unit’, as the family is known, are still asleep. He may grumble at this time that he has the bigger workshare, but the female would straighten him out if she was to overhear.
He will go to a location chosen by his pack leaders to perform seemingly meaningless tasks for a set period of time. Usually the male will make this more bearable with pleasurable little distractions. He will send meaningless electronic messages and receive them in return. He will stop for several more coffees in a day,and will finish as few tasks as he can get away with and not be barked at by the leader of the pack.
Sometimes the leader will banish the male from the pack. Then he will have to look for a new ‘job’. Until he has located a pack willing to take him in, he will be an outcast, an ‘unemployed slob’. When he does find a new pack, he will have to start at the bottom of the hierarchy again.
For the most part, the male will think ahead during his day to when he is not at his job. He will imagine that he is at home with his family ‘unit’, sitting around half dressed and drinking beer. Or he will think of the weekend, when he will sit around half dressed drinking beer.
That’s the end of our segment on homoslobian. So thanks for joining us. We will see you next week when we look in on tapeworms gone wild.

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