Redneck Bar & Grill
Beer, Friends, Food
I came across an awesome deal, the kind I just can’t refuse. RT Cunningham over at Untwisted Vortex is offering to link to anyone who takes him up on his special offer. Not once but eight times!
It reminds me of the time that I found not one, but two fortunes in that cookie! I was so excited I nearly dropped my beer.
Then there was the time that my Black Lab, Kira, left me not one, not two, but 5 piles of puppy surprise for me to find in the porch.I can’t tell you how excited I was that time!
I think this deal from Untwisted Vortex is a lot better.
Hello to all of my fans out there. I have been deluged with e-mails wondering where I’ve been for that last few days. I want to say thank-you to everyone who expresses their concern; I am doing fine now. The reason that you haven’t heard from me for a couple of days is because I was kidnapped by a crazed goth chick. She forced me to dress up as Jason Voorhies and alternately chase her around with a machete then fold her laundry. It was a nightmarish experience but I was able to get away after she posed for a picture for me.
But then this morning had another completely surreal experience. When I awoke I found myself in a strange place surrounded by people who were familiar to me and yet somehow they were not quite…right. I will tell you all about it and show you a picture tomorrow.
Environment Minister John Baird revealed the new, improved Federal plan to reduce greenhouse gas emissions at a press conference late Friday Afternoon.
"It has been pointed out that our original plan, although more than any other government in Canada has ever called for, is not sufficient. We got our heads together and came up with a new, foolproof plan to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 99%!"
The new report shocked the media with drastic details. In order to meet required targets, it was determined that all human activity in Canada would have to cease. All citizens would be given the option to either flee the country, or commit suicide honourably. A special ‘green’ Koolaid will be distributed to all those who pick the latter option.
All bodies will be gathered and sequestered deep underground, not only to trap the greenhouse gases and carbon they contain, but also to protect carnivorous animals, insects and all of nature. Human bodies contain heavy metals, caffeine and other drugs which could be harmful to the planet. A special mop up crew of trained foreign experts will take care of disposal and sequestering, then leave the vacant land to return to it’s natural state.
"This is the opportunity that green activists have been waiting for," stated Baird. "It’s the chance to put their words to the test. If they really want to save the Earth they will fully support our new plan. Of course, they will probably just claim that this is too little, too late."