Redneck Bar & Grill
Beer, Friends, Food
I came across an awesome deal, the kind I just can’t refuse. RT Cunningham over at Untwisted Vortex is offering to link to anyone who takes him up on his special offer. Not once but eight times!
It reminds me of the time that I found not one, but two fortunes in that cookie! I was so excited I nearly dropped my beer.
Then there was the time that my Black Lab, Kira, left me not one, not two, but 5 piles of puppy surprise for me to find in the porch.I can’t tell you how excited I was that time!
I think this deal from Untwisted Vortex is a lot better.
Hello to all of my fans out there. I have been deluged with e-mails wondering where I’ve been for that last few days. I want to say thank-you to everyone who expresses their concern; I am doing fine now. The reason that you haven’t heard from me for a couple of days is because I was kidnapped by a crazed goth chick. She forced me to dress up as Jason Voorhies and alternately chase her around with a machete then fold her laundry. It was a nightmarish experience but I was able to get away after she posed for a picture for me.
But then this morning had another completely surreal experience. When I awoke I found myself in a strange place surrounded by people who were familiar to me and yet somehow they were not quite…right. I will tell you all about it and show you a picture tomorrow.
Environment Minister John Baird revealed the new, improved Federal plan to reduce greenhouse gas emissions at a press conference late Friday Afternoon.
"It has been pointed out that our original plan, although more than any other government in Canada has ever called for, is not sufficient. We got our heads together and came up with a new, foolproof plan to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 99%!"
The new report shocked the media with drastic details. In order to meet required targets, it was determined that all human activity in Canada would have to cease. All citizens would be given the option to either flee the country, or commit suicide honourably. A special ‘green’ Koolaid will be distributed to all those who pick the latter option.
All bodies will be gathered and sequestered deep underground, not only to trap the greenhouse gases and carbon they contain, but also to protect carnivorous animals, insects and all of nature. Human bodies contain heavy metals, caffeine and other drugs which could be harmful to the planet. A special mop up crew of trained foreign experts will take care of disposal and sequestering, then leave the vacant land to return to it’s natural state.
"This is the opportunity that green activists have been waiting for," stated Baird. "It’s the chance to put their words to the test. If they really want to save the Earth they will fully support our new plan. Of course, they will probably just claim that this is too little, too late."
If you are a shopper at eBay, you probably love the hunt for a new deal. Checking listings to find that perfect buy everyone else missed can be really exciting.
One way to search for deals others may have missed is to use a misspelled eBay entry tool. Quite often, a seller will list an item in an auction and accidentally use the wrong spelling or an abbreviation .The wrong spelling of a title or description will make the entry harder to find. Then, when buyers search the listings, the item will not be displayed on their search results. As you can imagine, this results in that item getting fewer, or no bids, thereby lowering the selling price of the item.
This can be a real opportunity to find bargains before anyone else gets to them.
For example, say you are shopping for a dirt bike. Normally, an auction entry listed with the abbreviation "drt bike" or with the misspelling "dirt bicke"will be missed!
A free misspelling tool can be found at www.timsauctionsecrets.com, as well as on many other sites on the web. Go ahead, give it a try! Who knows, you may find that perfect item and pay next to nothing.
At first glance, everything here seems normal. But just imagine the chaos if you didn’t look closer before you went in! Go ahead and examine these door signs. And then imagine you had a few too many Blue Beaver Beer, and you need to hit the head. You walk in with nary a glance at the sign and pow! You’re an instant perv as far as all the ladies in the can are concerned. And if you’re a lady, you probably won’t want to walk in on some guy doing who knows what with …… never mind. For another little bathroom story, check out B’s post You Gotta Be Careful.
Here’s another email I recieved. Author unknown….. but thanks for the forward, Jim.
For those who are easily shocked and have virgin eyes that can’t stand the sight of a swear word (only a bad word to us), do not look down at the name of this town.
Unlike some of the things you might see here, this is actually real! Just look on a map.
A couple of things come to mind. What do you call a resident of this town, a F***er? If you have buddys there, how often do you phone your F***ing friends?
As you have probably already read, Tim broke this story first. However, I dug deep, peeled back the layers and discovered that there was more to it that nobody else knew.
A new mineral has recently been discovered in Serbia. A sample of this unusual substance was unearthed by the mining group Rio Tinto Plc and then turned over to mineral expert Chris Stanley at the Natural History Museum for analysis. The mineral’s chemical formula is sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide. When Stanley did a computer search on it he discovered that was the exact scientific name written on a case of rock containing Kryptonite, which was stolen by Lex Luthor in the movie "Superman Returns".Stanley noted that his Kryptonite was white, powdery and non radioactive as opposed to the traditional green glowing crystals that we are all familiar with. Inexplicably this new mineral will be called Jadarite.
It is my belief that this is most likely White Kryptonite, which if I recall correctly will kill all plant life exposed to it, regardless of the origin of the plant . At any rate if we have found remnants of Superman’s home planet here on Earth it can only mean that the Man of Steel is already here waging his never ending battle for truth, justice and the (North) American way.
If you would like to know more about Kryptonite, don’t bother watching "Smallville", they’ve got it all mixed up. Instead check out this site; it will tell you all you need to know.
A drill core sample of an unusual mineral was examined in Serbia, and found to have the same chemical composition as Kyptonite, sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide.
Superman was unavailable for comment, as he has not yet returned from deep space exploration. His friend, Jimmy Olsen, stated that this was a dark day for Superman.
Canoe Kryptonite Article
Kyptonite on Wikipedia
I think this book pictured below might help some people decide if they are an idiot, a moron, or what.
Of course, I actually own several books that resemble this and they have been quite useful. The name is a call to be made fun of, that’s for sure.
Blogging For Dummies at Mental Floss
Dealing with Dummies, For Dummies*** – The Jason Calacanis Weblog.
