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5.04.07 # 10:25 # Horseguard Valley # No CommentThe Horseguard Valley is populated not only by interesting wildlife but also by some very interesting characters as well. One such person is Old Man Karhoffer.
Old Man Karhoffer is just about as old as the valley itself. No one seems to even recall his first name. He’s always been Old Man Karhoffer (Mr. Karhoffer to his face) as far back as I can remember my father and my grandfather talking about him. He has always lived down in the valley, only about a mile away from the glacier. His house is basically just a shack that looks like it’s about to fall down. No one I know has ever been inside it though. If you go over to visit, you always sit out behind it in a rickety wooden chair in front of a fire pit which is always burning. And if you do ever go to visit him, you have to make sure that the Blue Beaver Beer gets out of the car first. Old Man Karhoffer always greets his guests with a shotgun loaded with rock salt. If you don’t bring beer it will be a very short and painful visit. If you do bring beer you can sit and B.S. with him for as long as the beer lasts. He does most of the talking, and he seems to be an expert on just about any subject; whether it be polishing rocks or fixing lawn mowers or what he read in National Geographic. His "farm" is as eccentric as he is. He collects old machinery and cars and builds fences out of them. He also has quite the old hubcap and license plate collection, which he is always proud to show off every single time you stop by.
I heard a story that some antiques dealer from the city stopped by there once to appraise the collection. When he informed Old Man Karhoffer that is was worthless, he got both barrels of rock salt right in the backside. I guess he had to leave his car behind because he couldn’t sit down to drive it away.
So if you happen to be headed out towards the glacier make sure you have a spare case of Blue Beaver Beer. Maybe you can make a new friend and get a guided tour of the valley.
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