Redneck Bar & Grill

I thought I’d swing by and visit my buddy Dean. I was on my way past Trochu anyways and I had a few hours to kill, so I picked up a six pack of Blue Beaver Beer at the store and drove over to Dean’s trailer.
    There was no answer at the door, so I checked around back. Sure enough, there was Dean in the garage, working away on some machine or another on his bench. “Hey, you brought beer!”
As we both opened a can, I examined his project with interest.
    “What’ve you got here, Deano? I don’t recognize any of this.”
    “Well, I know you can keep a secret. This here is what I’m going to call the internal combustion engine. Burns gasoline, produces a lot of horsepower.”
    “Where’d you get the idea for this? I didn’t know you could invent.”
    “I dunno, just came to me. Hand me that thingie over there.” He went back to his assembly, taking the occasional swig of beer. “ I scavenged most of these parts up from around town, but I had to order a couple. Turns out this company named ‘Ford’ builds all of the components I need and sells them everywhere. I got a good idea how it all fits together and I bet I’ll have my prototype working by the end of the week.”
    I watched in amazement as Dean made history. The first internal combustion engine. He was probably going to get rich on this one idea! After a while I had to go. I said goodbye and headed for home.
    For the next week I pretty much forgot about Dean and his secret project. I was pretty busy with contract negotiations between the activists and the government and I had a lot on my plate right around then. As Saturday rolled around, though, I remembered to call him up and check on his progress.
    “So what’s shakin’, Deano? Hows your engine going?”
    “Be careful what you say, I think my phone’s tapped. Just come down and take a look if you want.”
    Intrigued, I made the trek back to his house. Again, I found him out back. His usually open garage door was closed tight. Paranoia from Dean, of all people. I shook my head and went inside.
    His engine was mounted on a stand in the middle of the little building. Dean had a new stack of parts on the floor, a jumbled mess of who knew what. “Come on in, I’ll fire it up for you,” Dean said with a grin. In a few minutes he had his new motor purring loudly away. He revved it up and down for me then shut it off. The noise from it was deafening in the tiny garage.
    “That’s great, Dean. But what are you going to do with it?”
    “Well, for starters I’m going to build something to put it in. I’ve been thinking about this vehicle I want to invent. It’ll be fast and hold to the road real good. I’m going to call it a ‘Mustang’,” he proudly announced.
    Later, on my way home, I shook my head in amusement. You never know what’s going to come out of a sleepy little town like Trochu.

Technorati Tags: mustang, inventor, engine

Dear Lord,

So for today, God; I’ve done all right. I haven’t gossiped,
haven’t lost my temper, haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or even indulgent.

I’m very thankful for that – But in a very short time, God, I’m going to get out of bed, and from that moment on I’m going to need a lot of help!

Amen.

The Weekend Question (from Captain Picard’s Journal)

We all remember most of the music albums we buy, but some of them are just so bad or disappointing, we never play them again, so they just gather dust. Today, TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks about those.

Which music albums have you found to be very disappointing when you played them, so that you never played them again, or very rarely?

On a different note, here’s a few cool song titles for some country songs. I don’t know if any of these actually exist, so drop me a comment if you know where they are from.

• I Kissed Her on the Lips, And Left Her Behind for You
• I Don’t Want Your Body If Your Heart’s Not in It
• The Beer I Had For Breakfast Is Comin’ Back For Lunch
• We Used to Just Kiss on the Lips But Now It’s All Over
• They May Put Me In Prison But They Can’t Stop My Face From Breaking Out
• Why Do You Believe Me When I Tell You That I Love You When You Know I’ve Been A Liar All My Life?
• He’s Been Drunk Since His Wife’s Gone Punk
• I Wouldn’t Take Her To a Dog Fight, Cause I’m Afraid She’d Win

Technorati Tags: songs, TWQ, funny song title

A fight to the death between zombies has a few inherent problems.

Local Grocery Store Accidentally Orders Bears Instead of Pears:
Typo kills 3 Stockboys
 Story page 50

Preserve animals. Pickle a squirrel!

Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.

Why is it that most nudists are people you don’t want to see naked?

Projecting empaths – You have to feel sorry for them.

Frogs have it easy.  They can eat what bugs them.

My grandfather worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a boy, and he used to tell me, when I was a little boy myself, how he had toughened himself up so he could stand the rigors of blacksmithing.
One story was how he had developed his arm and shoulder muscles. He said he would stand outside behind the house and, with a 5 pound potato sack in each hand, extend his arms straight out from his sides and hold them there as long as he could.
After awhile he tried 10 pound potato sacks, then 50 pound potato sacks and finally he got to where he could lift a 100 pound potato sack in each hand and hold his arms straight out for more than a full minute!
Next, he started putting potatoes in the sacks.

Technorati Tags: joke