Redneck Bar & Grill

    No, we are not pulling the wool over your eyes. Eddie Murphy occasionally ducks out from his busy dog eat dog film star life and visits his long-time friend Robert Jones in Condor, Alberta at the Jones ranch. It has been a well kept secret for years, but Eddie slipped up and started sneaking into Lesliville like a wolf in sheep’s clothing to buy orange juice and a newspaper every morning on his last visit.So we decided to grab the bull by the horns and ask Robert about it. “We go way back,” Robert sheepishly admitted with a chuckle when we interviewed him at the huge Jones spread just off of Highway 11. The ranch has cows, horses, pigs, sheep, and of course,  zebras which were recently purchased from Elaine Lipka and ZAP (Zebras Across The Prairies).
“We met at the world famous Condor Inn and Convention Center. I was leaving the restaurant and I saw a Viper pulling into the parking lot and went over to check it out. We hit it off, and you know that they say birds of a feather flock together.  Anyways, Eddie was here for the Talk To The Animals Convention. I took him out to the ranch and for Eddie it was like puppy love when he saw the livestock.”
    Apparently Mr. Murphy likes to come out and monkey around with the farm machinery, broken or not.
    “ I remember this one time Eddie took a tractor apart and couldn’t get it back together. I guess curiosity kills the cat, cause he just had to see what was inside it. But Eddie is stubborn as a mule and he doggedly kept trying to get that tractor back together. Even though he has a memory like an elephant, he just couldn’t remember where those last few pieces came from. Yep, that tractor really got his goose!”
    It’s not all fun and games when the Hollywood star comes to visit. He helps out with the ranch and apparently works like a dog to give Robert a hand.  And when it comes to doctoring a sick animal Eddie is like a mother hen.  “ It would give you goosebumps to watch Eddie with the animals. I swear it seems like he can talk to them. We had one horse that was sick as a dog and when I was talking to Eddie on the phone he was a real eager beaver to get on a plane and come up North. As the crow flies its not that far for him in his private plane. He soon had that mare healthy as a horse.”
    As far as catching a glimpse of the famous star in these parts again, Robert told us not to count our chickens before they hatch. “ Now that the word is out  I’ll probably have to wing my way south to horse around with Eddie,”  the Condor farmer said. “Now all the neighbors would be badgering us for autographs and pictures and before you know it reporters would be fighting like dogs to get up our driveway. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t explain to people how you need your privacy. They just won’t let sleeping dogs lie. I guess some of our neighbors must be blind as a bat because he’s been coming here for years and they never noticed.”
    Well, I think we’ve milked this story for all it’s worth. We had better wrap this up here before someone hunts us down like a dog  for bullying an idea to death.

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