Redneck Bar & Grill

    Daylight Savings time comes every year to rearrange our schedules and increase entropy in the universe. but this year, the federal government has finally found a way to tax our time.     These measures have become necessary since rising taxes and public hatred have driven smokers to quit buying tobacco and paying their smoker’s taxes.
    It’s simple, really. Just get us to voluntarily give away one hour of our time in the spring. Then keep it in the government vaults . Saskatchewan and other Have-not provinces without daylight savings time will be exempt because, as we all know, they have been running out of time.
    This fall, we won’t get our one hour of extra sleep. Ottawa has found a way to bottle it and ship it to the highest bidder.
    On leap years, February will still only be 28 days long and they will keep that whole day for resale.
    A new bureau will also be collecting Thumb Tax. Anyone who possesses either one or two thumbs will pay a flat rate tax for registration and the right to use their thumb(s) in Canada.
    Anyone caught sitting on their thumbs, or who has no thumbs, or is otherwise thumbing their nose at the law will be declared disabled and will be charged Bum Tax . This will also apply to all homeless, thumbless people.

Technorati Tags: daylight savings time, tax, taxes

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