Redneck Bar & Grill

I took a trip out to the Horseguard Valley the other day.  I wanted to go visit Old Man Karhoffer to talk to him about a personal matter.  Every Friday I give out advice to all sorts of people who ask me questions about their lives.  Sometimes, though, I need advice of my own.  So I turn to the one man who knows even more than I do.  Old Man Karhoffer has been around so long and has seen and done practically everything.

So I inquired of him what sort of a diet is best for losing weight, while maintaining a high energy level and staying healthy.  He gave me the following list of everything that he eats on a regular basis:

- pure bacon grease spread on multi-grain bread
- crushed tomatoes mixed with ground beef and whole wheat pasta
- leafy green vegetables covered in thousand islands dressing with low fat croutons
- extra strong black coffee
- assorted anti-oxidant enriched berries with heavy cream and sugar
- pork chops and mashed potatoes with sodium reduced gravy
- and of course no less than a six-pack of Blue Beaver Beer per day

Old Man Karhoffer assured me that strictly following this diet would maintain a peak physical condition like his.  At that point he discovered that I was out of beer, so he grabbed his shotgun and chased me off his property.  I forgot to ask if such a diet plan has any effect on mental alertness.