We’ve all seen t-shirts like this one. 
We’ve all dreamed about having that job. I used to think no ordinary guy could be lucky enough to get a job inspecting bikinis at the factory as they come off the production line. An important job like ensuring bikinis are fit to be worn even before they ever ship out to the stores would be the kind of job that only well connected guys could get. You’d probably have to be the nephew of the wife of the CEO of the factory. However, I did a little research and I found out that maybe an ordinary guy could get a job doing the next best thing.
In Rochester, Michigan, the law is that anyone bathing in public must have the bathing suit inspected by a police officer. Now this wouldn’t be quite as important a job; but even so it’s a necesary one. There might be women out there on the beach whose bikinis have become worn out or maybe they aren’t tied up properly. The last last thing I would want to see on the beach is a young lady accidentally "slipping out" of her bikini top. Such an event would cause all sorts of chaos and panic and with people running around scared someone’s Blue Beaver Beer might get spilled. So to all the bikini inspectors out there, in the factories and on the beaches, I salute you. Keep up the good, vital work.
Maybe you will enjoy this story. It’s not too far from your dream job. Best of all, it is either true or embellished only within reasonable limits:
I once worked at one of those jobs in which you take store inventory. You are part of a team, everyone has a bar code scanner, and you are scanning the tag on every item.
We were working a Victoria’s Secret store.
You have to scan mannequins, too. Accordingly, I was feeling around for the tags on unmentionables. My co-worker [also named] Tom saw me doing it, so he started to do the same. Only…..I don’t know if it was inattentiveness or what…..the undergarments in which he was groping for tags weren’t being worn by a mannequin.
I must have been half an hour picking his teeth out of the carpet.
(does this one link back?)
Maybe you will enjoy this story. It’s not too far from your dream job. Best of all, it is either true or embellished only within reasonable limits:
I once worked at one of those jobs in which you take store inventory. You are part of a team, everyone has a bar code scanner, and you are scanning the tag on every item.
We were working a Victoria’s Secret store.
You have to scan mannequins, too. Accordingly, I was feeling around for the tags on unmentionables. My co-worker [also named] Tom saw me doing it, so he started to do the same. Only…..I don’t know if it was inattentiveness or what…..the undergarments in which he was groping for tags weren’t being worn by a mannequin.
I must have been half an hour picking his teeth out of the carpet.
Sounds like a job most guys would love to have
JB’s last blog post..Welcome to Jailbait Lover
That is good to know about the law in Rochester, Michigan. I live about 20 minutes from Rochester and will now be applying for the job. It’s my duty as a responsible citizen to do this.
My buddy used to have a similar shirt to this, but it read the wallet inspector. Thankfully for the rest of us, he never took it too seriously.