“Weird Al” Yankovic – Need I Say More?

As Tim mentioned the other day, we recently attended a "Weird Al" concert.  Words can scarce begin to describe what an awesomely fantastic event this was.  If I made up a new word (awetastic) it might come close.  Before he even took the stage (and all through the concert, between songs) we were treated to clips from his assorted "Al-TV" specials.  Al specializes in hard hitting interviews with other performers.  These interviews never fail to shock; Eminem came out the closet during one, and during another, Al’s thought provoking questions left K-Fed speechless. 

As for the music, I have been saying for years now that Elvis was all well and good for his time but "Weird Al" is the new King of, not just rock’n'roll, but all musical genres.  The evening started with a polka and just kept getting better and better.  He performed all the biggest hits off his most recent album, "Straight Outta Lynwood", culminating with him riding on a Segway on stage for "White & Nerdy".  Naturally he played the hits from previous albums as well.  He did the much loved Star Wars duo; "The Saga Begins" and "Yoda".  And he could hardly play a concert without going all the way back to the one that really started it all, "Eat It".

I could wax poetic on the awetasticness for hours, however I will attempt to abridge my thoughts for the sake of those with ADD.  The concert initially ended with a standing ovation and boisterous shouts of "encore" and "I love you" (I just couldn’t contain myself).  Then Al and his band (Steve Jay, Jim West, Jon "Bermuda" Schwartz and Reuben Valtierra) came back out and played the smash hit that he co-wrote with Michael Stipe; "We All Have Cell Phones (So Come On Let’s Get Real)" followed by the  longest song he has ever recorded (11:22), Albuquerque.  This was made even longer for the live version by adding more varieties of doughnuts.  The whole crowd went nuts during this song when Al said that he fulfilled his life long dream by getting a job at Tim Horton’s.  After he finished up, he was given a second standing ovation. 

After-wards I was so wired, Tim and I went over to The Redneck Bar & Grill and had some Blue Beavers until I stopped vibrating.  A "Weird Al" concert is the only thing I have encountered that I can say is better than a Blue Beaver Beer.

July 31, 2007 | | 4 Comments »

You Know It’s Hot When A Moose is in Your Kiddie Pool

MooseIt has been a tad bit warm in Canada. Temperatures on the prairies have been above 38 degrees celsius (100.5 F). That’s pretty hot considering winter ran from October to April, seven months of suck.
With the hot weather, the moose have been hit pretty hard. Moose get heat stress and need to cool off any way they can. An animal that large (up to 7 feet tall and 1500  lbs.) can really generate heat, and their regular body temperature is around 101F.
Since they don’t like crowds, the average moose won’t be seen at the beach. Still, they like to get in on the water sports wherever possible.This one found an unoccupied pool (or maybe kicked out the occupants!)
He looks pretty comfortable. Someone get him a Blue Beaver!
Moose2

July 30, 2007 | | 2 Comments »

What Do You Believe?

Not many people know it, however, it is in fact against the law in British Columbia to kill a Sasquatch.  The only exception is for the Timber Wolves (for the full story on how that came about read this).  Many humans have chosen to disbelieve the existence of the Sasquatch, and as a result they have never seen one (although they will try to tell you that they disbelieved only after not seeing one).  Some of the more enlightened among us have chosen to expand our minds and be open to perceiving things that others do not.  That is why some of us can see U.F.O.’s, Loch Ness Monsters, Blue Beavers and American Idol contestants with talent.  Most people will never see these things because they don’t believe in them.  It’s like Nicole always says, "I’ll see it when I believe it."

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Thoughts of Depth

I would like to start off by apologizing for the lateness of my column.  As Tim mentioned, "Weird Al" came around and also I was distracted by the lovely Latinas.  Normally I try to plan for living musical/comedy legends and hot chicks; if I anticipate either I write the column ahead of time.  This time, however, I was asked an exceptionally profound question which took me longer than usual to make up research an answer for; but I finally did.  Incidentally, just in case it’s not obvious, the second question is the deeply…deep one.

Dear Ernie,
     This morning I woke up and found myself in an existential quandary, filled with loathing and self-doubt.  I was wracked with pain and isolation about my pitiful, meaningless existence.  Why does this always happen to me?
                                                  Al in Buquerque

Dear Al-buquerque,
     Well, according to the experts that I consulted, there are several different answers to your question.  Larry Winget said, "Shut up, stop whining, and get a life."  This may be a bit too soon for that kind of a wake up call.  Homer Simpson indicated to me that he felt perhaps you are living inside your head too much and you  really ought to feel free to cut loose and just have fun once in a while.  His exact words were, "Why are you in a quarry?  Eat a doughnut filled with cream and jelly and take an aspirin for the pain."  Treebeard listened closely then took ten  minutes to say, "Don’t…be…hasty…"  As for myself I would say if you were working longer hours, you’d be too tired to ask such questions.

Dear Ernie,
     How do I get to Tom Norton’s?
                                           Craving Crack-Caffeine in Condor

Dear Caff-Head,
     As I said, this question was just so deep and profound that, even though you stopped me on the street a week ago and asked me, I only just now have an answer for you.  Thanks for your patience.  Go straight east from here, then turn left on Kerry Wood Drive, go down the hill and take another left on to Taylor Drive.  Follow that until you reach 67th St., turn left and go about three blocks.  It’s there on your left, beside the Mohave Grill; you can’t miss it.

July 28, 2007 | | 1 Comment »