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Redneck Bar & Grill

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Fun at the Fair

July 24th, 2007 · No Comments

The other day I took advantage of the nice weather and went to the fair.  I took a stroll around the grounds and checked out all of the wondrous sights.  The vast selection of deep-fried, fatty, cholesterol and carbohydrate laden foods was astounding.  My arteries hardened just from the smell alone.  Then I went to see all of the games. 

Of course there were the usual suspects; the ring toss, basket toss, baseball toss, beaver toss, shoot the star and pop the balloon.  First I tried popping the balloons, but the darts weren’t sharp enough.  Then (since it was right behind me) I tried shooting out the star, but I ran out of ammo while I still had one point showing.  All of a sudden inspiration struck me.  I paid for a refill of ammo but instead of shooting the star I turned around and shot the balloons.  This worked out really well for me.  The carny gave me the biggest stuffed animal they had and then told me I also won a free ride on a very special attraction; the "Police Car".  It was great, they put the cuffs on me and put me in the back seat and then took me "downtown" and put me in a jail cell.  It was incredibly realistic. 

After I "made bail", I went back to the fair to see if there were any other rides I wanted to go on.  After the Police Car ride, though, nothing really appealed to me.  I was thinking about setting fire to one of the tents so that I might get to go on the Fire Truck ride, but something else caught my eye.

There was a reptile show going on.  They had a 20′ long python, a large turtle, an assortment of alligators and one crocodile.  They were really cool.  There was a sign saying you could have your picture taken with a reptile for $10.  I offered them $25 to let me put my head in the crocodile’s mouth, but they wouldn’t let me.

As I was leaving I saw a guy wearing a rather strange outfit.  I went in for a closer look and it turned out he was a one man band.  He had a guitar, harmonica, snare drum, bass drum, cymbal and a cowbell.  He was pretty amazing and best of all he performed the "Spiderman" theme song.  I was going to buy him a drink at the beer gardens, but they didn’t serve Blue Beaver Beer, so I had to go home.Band

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Tags: Adventures in Real Life

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