Redneck Bar & Grill

One of the guys I work with has been handing out forms. His name is Rooster. Well, that’s not actually his name, but it sure suits him. He tends to be a little abrasive at times, in an endearing yet pain in the a$$ way.I bet the day he came across this little form he was pretty happy. Now, if he hurts your feelings, he can just get you to fill out one of these babies!
I couldn’t find the origin of this form, just copies of it everywhere. If you know, please pass it on to me and credit will be given where it is due. Whoever the author is, this is damn funny, so thank you, unknown author!

Also, if this form offends you or hurts your feelings, feel free to fill one out and send it to me. Humour (Canadian spelling) is by it’s nature offensive, so feel free to not read it at all if you wish.

********************************************

HURT FEELINGS REPORT

ANSWER QUESTIONS BY CIRCLING THE APPROPRIATE ANSWER.
DATE:____________________________
TIME OF HURT FEELINGS:______________________ AM/PM

A. WHICH PART OF BODY WERE HURT FEELINGS INFLICTED THROUGH:   EYES   – EARS    — BOTH
B. IS THERE PERMANENT FEELING DAMAGE: YES  ?NO
C. DID YOU NEED A TISSUE FOR THE TEARS: YES  ?? NO

REASON FOR FILING THIS REPORT:
1. I AM THIN SKINNED: YES NO
2. I AM A PUSSY: YES NO
3. I HAVE WOMAN LIKE HORMONES: YES NO
4. I AM A QUEER: YES NO
5. I AM A LITTLE BITCH: YES NO
6. I AM A CRY-BABY: YES NO
7. I WANT MY MOMMY: YES NO
8. ALL OF THE ABOVE: YES(circle this one since most likely all apply)

NAME OF  ‘ REAL MAN’  WHO HURT YOUR FEELINGS: ___________________

IF YOU FEEL THAT YOU NEED SOMEONE TO HUG GO HOME TO MOMMY AND LET HER HUG YOU AND CHANGE YOUR DIAPER. IF YOU FEEL AS THOUGH YOU NEED TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE TO SOOTHE YOU PLEASE CALL THIS NUMBER: (800) CRY-BABY OR (888) SIS-GIRL

GIRLY-MAN WHO FILED REPORT: __________________________________

SIGNATURE OF GIRLY-MAN: _______________________________________

REAL MAN (person being brought up on charges) ________________________

SIGNATURE OF REAL MAN: ________________________________________

MOD OR ADMIN SIGNATURE: _______________________________

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