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Comment RSSEarly Morning Stop at Tom Norton’s
26.09.07 # 5:31 # Adventures in Real Life # 3 CommentsSome days when you get up at 4:45 AM, you just don’t want to go on living. You want to end it all just to get some sleep. That’s when it’s handy to stop by Tom Norton’s and pick up an extra large double-double, with a small coffee on the side. It’s the price I have to pay for going to bed too late.
I’m not saying my early morning off to work routine is all bad. Just the part where you drag your a$$ out of bed and think, "What am I doing! The sun didn’t even get up yet." It would be nice to roll over and keep on sawing logs. None of that, though. Don’t want the sleep world tree huggers after me for dream world deforestation.
I have never enjoyed mornings. My Mom used to wake me up by throwing something at me and running away to avoid my wrath. She made me breakfast every morning, and coerced me to eat it before sending me stumbling out the door. Feeling crappy, my stomach turning, yet full of hearty farm breakfast goodness, I would wander down to catch the school bus just after 7:00 AM. In the winter in Canada, this really sucked and it was really cold. Our driveway was really long. I really hated school.
Too bad Mom couldn’t have given me Tom Norton’s magical elixer, an extra large double double. Sure, maybe it would have stunted my growth. But just think of all the changes my improved attitude would have made on my life.
I would have been a little more awake and happier. I probably would have made more friends if I was happy. I would have been able to concentrate a little harder on schoolwork. I would have had to go to the bathroom a lot more!
Yep, there’s no doubt about it. Add up all these changes and what do you discover? With the addition of a big ole coffee in the morning as a child, I would now be the Prime Minister of Canada, or at least the Cabinet Minister in charge of Conspiracies. That’s how big of a change in my life you would have seen. Instead, I am still at the bottom, scraping along like one of those bottom feeding fish in an aquarium, eating leftovers that sink from the top.
I knew that I could blame all of this on someone if I thought about it long enough.
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A double double what? As you may have guessed, I don’t know Tom Norton.
I don’t drink coffee. Is that why I’m a failure?
I also hate mornings. Once there was a guy who I could have potentially dated. I really did like him.. right up until the point that he said, “I’m a morning person.”
If my life had sound effects you would have heard the vinyl riiiiiiiip happen right there.
Well, Captain, all of us in Canada are hooked on the coffee from a certain franchise, and it rhymes with Tom Norton’s. Some of us make a couple trips a day, and the big seller is just plain coffee. A double double has two cream, two sugar.
That’s too bad for your potential date, Gerri, but better to know things won’t work out now than to get into an untenable morning relationship.