Dear Ernie,
     If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
                            Pondering at The Ponderosa

Dear Ponderous One,
     I suppose you think that I will say it comes from cold pressing babies, and while that would be utterly hilarious it couldn’t be further from the truth.  In fact, baby oil comes from a variety of different cacti.  Aloe Vera accounts for most of it, but it also consists of; Aloe Humilis, Prickly Pear, "Frosty Morn" Sedum, "Royal Flush" Cactus and Agave.  Some of the more learned in the audience may be aware that the Agave Cactus is also the source of Tequila.  It is a little known fact that the essential oils in the Agave are pressed out for the baby oil, then it is pureed and fermented in a complex process that eventually results in Tequila.

Dear Ernie,
     Did you hear that?
                             Suffering Aural Hallucinations on the Moors

Dear Aural-Fixation,
     I believe that I did hear something.  I presume, though, that what you are really asking is, "What exactly did I just hear?"  Unfortunately, this is a written medium and no sound comes through with your message (unless you were to record it on your end and then transmit an MP3 to me) so I can’t really say what it is that you heard.  As for myself all I heard, just now, was the sound of myself typing and (very faintly) my roommate’s t.v. upstairs.  I hope this helps you.

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