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Comment RSSOkay I’m Dead; Now What
30.10.07 # 7:43 # Uncategorized # No CommentHave you ever thought about how you would like to leave this earth? SuperSnark has it well planned out. Now, thanks to her, I’ve come up with an after death plan for me.
First, I would have to be cremated. Just make sure I’m dead. Hey, that reminds me of a joke……..
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Two hunters are out in the woods and they are walking along looking around. All of a sudden, Jim holds his chest, starts wheezing and falls to the ground. Bob panics at first, then grabs his cell phone and calls 911. By some miracle, he actually gets reception here. The woman on the other end answers, and Bob says, " You gotta send help. My friend Jim had a heart attack and I think he’s dead!"
The operator says," Calm down, sir. The first thing you have to do is make sure he’s dead."
She hears, chkk chickk, BOOOMMM. Jim says on the phone, "Okay, now what?"
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Where was I? Oh yeah, I was dead. Okay, next I need to be cremated and my ashes taken to the headwaters of The Mighty Horseguard River, right south of Horseguard Glacier. I know there’s probably some rule against it, but if my ashes were spread in the water, later downstream I would become part of the famous Blue Beaver Beer brewing process, which uses pure glacial runoff as well as many other pure and wonderful ingredients.
Then there would be a big send off in the campground, with beer and a potluck dinner. And a contest! Whoever could catch and ride one of the wild horses of Horseguard Valley would get my most prized possessions, my stuffed rat and my Bubbles Powerpuff Girl doll. My wife wouldn’t want to part with them, she loves them so much. I am sure, however, that she would respect my wishes.
SuperSnark wanted those bikinis with coconut shell halves worn at her wake. I think that would be great, but all the guys might not feel comfortable with one of those on. Casual wear would be fine.
(originally posted by Tim, March 2007)
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