Dear Ernie,

     What you gon’ do with all that junk; all that junk inside your trunk?  

                  Patty with the Black Eye in Los Angeles

Dear Black-eyed P,

     Well, I do have rather a lot of junk inside my trunk right at the moment. In fact I have been feeling lately like there is too much. Some might argue that the more junk in your trunk the better; however I definitely feel that there is a limit. Of course every individual will have to decide for him of herself exactly how much is enough and how much is too much.

But to answer your question; I intend to keep some of the junk inside my trunk. But I am currently looking for a way to lose the junk that I do not wish to hang on to. Maybe if I go for a run down to the junk yard, check to see if they have any room for my excess junk, then run back home; maybe by that time some of my will just sort of disappear if I leave it just sort of hanging out.

Dear Ernie,

It sure seems like you have have an answer for any question imaginable. Even ones that seem like they should have a really short simple answer, you always go well below the surface to come up with a complex and enlightening answer. I must say I am quite astounded. I suspect that you could, as the scholars say, “wax poetic” about any subject. You just go on and on, but in a good way. Tell me, is there any end to your wit and wisdom?

                                      A Fan in Boise

Dear Fan-Boi,

     No.

As part of the Grand Opening celebration down at the bar, I was able to book a local, Red Deer, band called White Noise. This trio of musical geniuses are really revolutionizing music. Their biggest hit so far, “No Feedback” is an incredibly complex work. They just turn on amplifier and crank it all the way up (to 11), and then leave it completely alone for a full 3 minutes. Nothing but that slight humming sound, brilliant. Then for the headbangers they do, “Off The Air”. They turn on a t.v. that has no antenna hooked up to it for 2 minutes and 11 seconds. My personal favourite is, “Tock”. Their use of a metronome at it’s very slowest setting for a mind boggling 6 minutes and 1 second is like poetry brought to some sort of quasi-life.

White Noisehasn’t put any of their music on iTunes yet. You can probably illegally download it from some file sharing site, but that would be wrong. It’s best to hear them live anyway. Next time you’re in Red Deer, see if they’re playing any of the clubs; you won’t be disappointed.

We all want to get ahead. We all want more traffic, more comments, more backlinks, more online friends. How can we attract these desirable outcomes? There are a lot of methods and techniques you can use to go after your fame, or whatever you are trying to achieve with your online ventures. I’m going to put my effort into helping others reach their goals, and I’ll tell you why. This is going to be aimed at things you can do on BloggingZoom, and other social networks, but it applies to ‘normal’ life in some ways too. Keep in mind that online you really need to learn SEO as well.

Let’s examine the case of a person who finds BZ and thinks “What a great idea! I’m going to join up and get busy submitting my articles. Finally, a joint that doesn’t penalize me for putting in my own work.” Now, with several articles submitted, this new member is barely making any progress at all. “I don’t get it,” they cry out. “I thought this place was going to help me get more exposure.” As they look at how well other people’s posts are doing, they become enraged, grab a high powered rifle and climb the nearest watertower.

It doesn’t have to be this way. First of all, sitting on a tower can be pretty lonely and cold. And, second, there are things you can do to ensure your success. If you are too busy planning your shooting spree, I’ll leave you to it, but otherwise, lets crack a Blue Beaver Beer and come up with a more reasonable course of action.

You have to give before you can get! If I, or many other BZ users, see five of your articles all submitted at  nearly the same time, and I know darn well you haven’t bothered to read anyone else’ work, I probably won’t read yours and I won’t make you my friend.

It’s that simple.  Your profile will show what you have been up to, so don’t think you can hide it. It doesn’t matter how good your articles are if other people can tell you are being self serving.

On the other hand, if I am looking at various entries, and I notice that not only has a particular user zoomed these articles, but also commented on them and commented on the respective article’s blog, I am going to be predisposed to like that person by association. If I see their name on an entry, I’ll probably read it even if it’s not in my main interest area. I will try to like it. I will try to comment when I have to struggle for something to say. I will probably zoom it.

Another area that needs emphasizing is comments placed on a blog. It costs nothing, and takes such a small amount of time. All of you know how good it feels to know that someone out there is paying attention. There are times when a new blogger is wondering if it’s worth it, maybe ready to throw in the towel. Well, you need that new blogger. You need that person to read your articles! You can’t afford to let them quit. I know that most of you produce how-to and other helpful posts, to show others what you know. I love these articles, and all those new to blogging can really use your help.

And all you veteran bloggers with the scars to prove it, I know you appreciate the comments too. If you like your commentors, reply to them! If I go to a blog and I feel like maybe the writer doesn’t even read the comments, I will only leave a couple before I give up. If my comments get answered, I know that there is a two way street there. It isn’t all about them.

So there you have it. Share your toys, help others, play nice, and you too can get ahead in this world. And stay away from water towers. You never know who might be up there.

Recently, in Colfax Township, Michigan; a man shot a killed a neighbour cow. He was hunting coyotes at the time. Authorities and the cow’s owner are skeptical as to how he could have mistaken the two animals. The county prosecutor is being urged to press charges due to the fact that hunting coyotes is illegal during deer season and hunting cows is illegal all the time. The owner of the cow feels that the man needs some sort of therapy that involves repeatedly looking at pictures of cows and coyotes so that he will be able to tell the difference in the future.

I know growing up on a farm it was sure easy to mistake the two creatures. This one time during calving season, I made a really big mistake. This one cow appeared to be having some trouble so I reached in there and helped pull the calf (which is not all that unusual). Then I put the cow and her calf in the barn for the night. The next morning my father asked me why the hell there was a mother coyote and her pup in the stall beside Bessie.