Redneck Bar & Grill

I just realized that some of us have been left out of the loop. I don’t belong to any sort of a writer’s guild! I don’t understand how this could have happened. Could it be that I don’t fit into traditional guilds, and the one I need doesn’t exist? Or could it be that I never tried to fit into society in any way? I don’t even belong to the Beerdrinker’s Guild, for Pete’s sake.
The only solution would be to create the Sarcastic & Humorous  Blogpost Writer’s Guild, and open it to anyone in the world that fits the description. In order to qualify, you would need at least one blog post that our hand picked expert analysts could determine was sarcastic, or at least humorous. Each entry would be submitted to a series of grueling tests, from metallurgical sampling, to acid resistance, to stress crack formation after being bent back and forth repeatedly.
There would be many benefits to having our own guild:

• Free pizza at every meeting, unless we teleconference, in which case, I buy! I just don’t deliver.
• We could corner the market on sarcastic or humorous posts. If you don’t join, but persist in being funny and sarcastic in a blogging format, we would ban you from living on the Earth. Now there is a serious threat. You do want to live on the Earth, don’t you? Then sign up! We wouldn’t want to kick you out, but rules is rules.
• Charge more for our hard work. Right now I get paid nothing for my slaving over a hot computer. Our guild would force the world to double, if not triple, my current income. Imagine what it could do for you!
• The babes! We all know how hot writers are, and how they always have women (or men, depending) hanging off of them and following them around. Now you, too, can become one of the ultra hip, sexy writers just like those cool cats over at the Writer’s Guild of America. Whom I support 100%. Go writers.
• A bunch of other cool benefits that intell shows probably exist, but we are only 99% sure.  Our very own WMD!

So let’s band together. Hey, it worked for the Borg. Anyone that’s interested, drop me a line.

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