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Comment RSSMonday Night Brawl For Y’All
3.12.07 # 21:08 # Fake News # 13 CommentsEarlier tonight (or last night if you’re reading this tomorrow) we hosted our very first bar-room brawl here at The Redneck. Seeing as it was Gerri’s idea, and since she brought her friend Tammy and her trusty-rusty knife, Tim and I felt obliged to give the two of them a couple of Blue Beavers on the house. Then we had to set some ground rules.
1) No breaking any glasses, they’re custom made to look like a Redneck (and licensing Jeff Foxworty’s face was not cheap).
2) No throwing anyone through any windows, they’re brand new-plus it’s winter in the Horseguard Valley, the east coast has nothing on us.
3) The only weapons allowed are rusty knives and spoons, because they’re dull, you twit, it will hurt more.
4) No smashing beer bottles, I’ll most likely be the one cleaning up, since we don’t have a janitor yet, and they’re worth 10 cents each.
5) Background music playing on the jukebox during the fight will be “I Ran Away” by The Arrogant Worms and “Angry White Boy Polka” by “Weird Al” Yankovic.
After that came the smack-down.
It didn’t really last very long. I guess Gerri and Tammy, dressed in Daisy Duke shorts and cowboy hats, were just too intimidating for the crowd at the bar tonight. Only one guy got his arse handed to him. He wasn’t actually looking for a fight, rather he was looking for love (in all the wrong places). Alas for him, the ladies were in the mood to rumble. The boots they were wearing were aparently made for (to paraphrase Stone Cold Steve Austin) “stomping a mud hole in this guys a$$ and walking it dry”.
Anyone who’s interested in challenging for the bar-room brawl tag team titles, should come back next week. Perhaps our reigning champs Gerri and Tammy will give you a shot.
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Oh that was fun. It’s been ages since I stomped a mud hole and walked it dry.. and these boots are made for walkin’. Same time next week?
I can’t keep my anger pent up too long or some postal employee is gonna get it.
Love the new site! I’d hang around longer, but I look terrible in Daisy Dukes!
Julia (JD)’s last blog post..I Saw U2. IN IRELAND! so you don’t have to
Gerri, feel free to drop by every week and release. Julia, Gerri wore the Daisy Dukes so you wouldn’t have to.
Don’t worry, me and Gerri are up for any contenders. LOL!
Tammy’s last blog post..CHRISTMAS CARTOONS
I knew that Tammy was trouble!
A bar fight isn’t a bar fight if there isn’t a minimum of one person being thrown through a window…
So who was thrown out of the window? Stop the fighting. Make love instead
Emo Boy’s last blog post..Emo Band: Paramore
And it must involve chairs being hurled!