Redneck Bar & Grill

Well, our Beer Buddy, Canuckle Head was kind enough to tag me with one of those “meme” things (my very first). As I explained to him, it would normally take me 12 weeks to answer 25 questions; but I decided to down a few Blue Beavers, charge ahead and rattle off the whole works all at once. After I’m done I hope that all of our loyal clientele at The Redneck will feel just a little bit closer to me; because I’d sure like to get closer to all of the ladies in the bar.

1. Wrapping or gift bags?

I wrap my gifts with newspaper; it’s good for the environment and then I don’t have to pay for wrapping paper or gift bags.

2. Real or artificial tree?

I don’t have a tree at all. I just decorate the Christmas beer case (after it’s empty).

3. When do you put up the tree?

I usually have a few beer cases kicking around all year.

4. When do you take the tree down?

Same as answer 3.

5. Do you like egg nog?

It’s funny, that’s just about the only thing that is not improved by the addition of Blue Beaver. Somehow milk, eggs, nutmeg and beer just don’t work together. However, I do occasionally indulge in warm eggnog with coffee and spiced rum. Very tasty.

6. Favourite gift received as a child?

I think I was seven years old at the time and “Santa” brought me a replica human skull-candle holder.

7. Do you have a nativity scene?

I have one made out of empty beer bottles. It was really difficult to track down a “stubby” for baby Jesus.

8. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?

Candy and chocolates.

9. Mail or email Christmas cards?

I don’t send out Christmas cards per se. I do have a Christmas poem that I like to give out to anyone who is interested.

10. Favourite Christmas Movie?

“The Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special” or “A Christmas Story”

11. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

Never before December 1st and never after January 1st.

12. Favourite thing to eat at Christmas?

Roast beast and mashed kartoffels.

13. Clear lights or coloured on the tree?

Coloured lights on the beer case.

14. Favourite Christmas song(s)?

There are a trio of albums by Bob Rivers called “Twisted Christmas”. On those albums my favourites are; Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire and O Little Town of Bethlehem set to the tune of House of the Rising Sun (you’d be surprised at how well it works).

15. Travel at Christmas or stay home?

I always make the annual pilgrimage out to my parents house in the Horseguard Valley. They are two of my biggest fans so it’s always a thrill when I drop by once a year.

16. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?

Yes I can; although I find it easier to just name them all Bob. (On Bob, on Bob, on Bob and Bob…)

17. Angel on the tree top or a star?

An empty bottle of Blue Beaver Beer (did you expect anything else?).

18. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning?

I open them late at night after they’re first put out, then I carefully re-wrap them to open again on Christmas morning.

19. Most annoying thing about this time of year?

I don’t know if I can name just one. All the lame “traditional” Christmas songs I’m forced to endure every-time I go out in public.

20. Do you decorate your tree in any specific theme or colour?

Beer theme, what else.

21. What do you leave for Santa?

“Leave him cookies and beer, he’ll be back to your house first next year.”

22. Least favourite holiday song?

“Where are you Christmas” by Faith Hill or anything sung by Celine Dion.

23. Favourite ornament?

Reindeer skull.

24. Family tradition?

Getting drunk enough to sit through the excruciating home movies.

25. Ever been to Midnight Mass or late-night Christmas Eve services?

Not since I started worshipping Santa (or is that Satan, I always confuse the two).

Make someone really happy this year. Give them a beer basket gift for Christmas!