Redneck Bar & Grill

Dear Ernie,

Hi guys, all the best to you! Please tell me how to behave in such state – I need a very good credit ‘cause there’s a job I want so. But they won’t accept me, I’m a student. I’m going to improve credit and apply for secured credit cards. So far I visited a web site but I cannot rely on it until you tell me if it’s worth applying there! Please recommend.

Student Who Can’t Get Credit in Mississauga

Dear Uncreditable Stu,

First of all you will have to let me know exactly which state you are in, then I will be able to tell you how to behave there. You are right to be skeptical of secured credit card web site. There is an awful lot of spam out there on the internet and many people will try to take advantage of a young impressionable student. You should definitely not apply at that web site you have visited. It’s a scam, much like the Australian lottery. If you truly would like to know the best way to improve you credit rating, just follow my advice. Send me a personal cheque for $150.00 every month for a minimum of two years (building a credit rating will take a lot of patience). I will report every payment to the appropriate credit monitoring agencies. In time you will suddenly find yourself deluged with offers from credit card companies saying that you are pre-approved for their cards. It may be possible to speed things up a bit so that you can accomplish your goal in just a year; however, you will have to double your monthly payment to me.

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