Well folks, the most romantic day of the year is almost upon us. No I’m not talking about Mexican Constitution Day or New Zealand’s Waitangi Day. I am, of course, referring to Groundhog Day. That’s right it’s that special time of year when women all over North America wake up in the morning (or mid-afternoon, as the case may be) and if they see their lovers’ shadow they end the relationship early. If they fail to see the shadow then it’s another six weeks before they break it off.
Over the years men have come to anticipate all the possibilities this day presents. Some men are quite happy to get out of the relationship early; therefore they go to great lengths to arrange their bed relative to the window in such a way as to ensure that the female sees the shadow. Some men, as you know, are masochistic so they want to drag the relationship on for as long as possible. To this end they take the female out the night before for a romantic dinner, then dancing, then a lot of drinks. After they get her home, they will make love to her for as long as they possibly can (some even take “supplements” in order to make the session last up to 20 minutes). Then the men will give the female a nightcap with a little NyQuill in it. Their plan is to make her sleep all through Groundhog Day day so that when she sees her shadow on Feb. 3rd it will no longer count.
What could possibly be more romantic than that?
That explains why I was so groggy. Hmmph.
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