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Redneck Retirement Planning

March 29th, 2008 · 4 Comments

Following Ernie’s lead on his video posts, I too decided to rely on the writings of some clever unknown individual. The following email joke ended up in my inbox, so be aware I only gave the math and figures a quick glance. This does seem like a typical redneck retirement plan, though:

If you purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock a while back, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron stocks, you would have  $16.50 left of your original $1000.00.

With WorldCom stocks, you might have less than $5.00 left.

If you purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left of your investment.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of Blue Beaver Beer or cheap wine one year ago, drank all the beer/wine, then turned in the cans/bottles for the aluminium and bottle  recycling REFUND, you would have around $45.00 in your hands.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to Drink heavily and recycle. This way you get some entertainment value for your money.

I’m pretty sure Ernie and I are heavily invested in this redneck retirement plan already. How about the rest of you?

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Tags: Redneck Ramblings

4 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Tammy // Mar 29, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    Yeah that’s my husbands way to thinking too. LOL

  • 2 Canucklehead // Apr 1, 2008 at 6:18 am

    Retirement plan?! I’ve been drinking heavy in the hopes that I wouldn’t live until then! Man - I can’t win for losing lately …

  • 3 Tim Ebl // Apr 1, 2008 at 8:05 pm

    Well Tammy, you’ll have to let him know (or maybe you don’t want to) that he’s farther ahead than some wall street investors right now. And he might even have saved up a few pounds on his middle for a rainy day.
    Canucklehead: You’ve done the drinking, just don’t forget to recycle. If you don’t make it your children can use the bottle money.

  • 4 Expert Retirement Planning // May 1, 2008 at 8:50 pm

    Yep that sounds like the extent of some peoples retirment planning. I bought a few enron shares to see if they would recover but knew I was probably throwing money away.

    Expert Retirement Planning’s last blog post..Beware of Retirement Planning Mistakes

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