I was leafing through the local paper today and all of a sudden the following caught my eye (and you know how painful that can be):
It was listed under “Miscellaneous Help Wanted”. Now, I know what you’re thinking (because the exact same thing occurred to me), “Hey this is a 100% legitimate ad for people (preferably girls) to sell liquor at the rodeo. It’s definitely not just Franklin trying to get girls’ phone numbers and possibly their home addresses if they apply with a resume.”
So, lately I’ve sort of been thinking that my day job is an awful lot like “Survivor“. 
First of all I have to hang out with a bunch of strangers, very few (if any) of whom I would ever choose to associate with. Next I’m forced to to stay at a small self-contained locale, not unlike an island.
In my first couple of weeks at this job I was presented with a few challenges, most of which I won, and I just sort of took my time to understand the game without taking too many risks. Gradually, I was presented with more challenges, then I made some alliances and slowly became well-liked by my fellow castaways co-workers. I was able to survive a few eliminations and I even got immunity a couple of times.
It didn’t take me very long to become the leader of my tribe; and I survived many more eliminations. A little while back I became the back-up hunter/gatherer shipper-receiver for the whole island. Now after one more elimination, I have moved up another spot to become the head shipper/receiver. If this trend continues, next I should become the Jeff Probst of my job and then the Mark Burnett.
Outwit – well, if you knew the kind of people I work with you’d know that’s not even a little bit difficult to do
Outlast – the ladies will tell you how well I can outlast other guys
Outplay – I never play at work; ’cause work isn’t fun, work is work
A little while back I re-watched the movie, “Underworld“. I started thinking about the idea of a werewolf/vampire hybrid. I believe they could have done a lot more with such a character. But more importantly, it led me to ponder something else. What if a werewolf/vampire hybrid was attacked by a zombie? You’d have a werewolf/vampire/ZOMBIE hybrid. How awesome would that be?
Such a creature would be damn near utterly unstoppable. A silver bullet kills a werewolf, but doesn’t do anything to a zombie or a vampire. A vampire is killed by a wooden stake in the heart. Now, even if you could get close enough to a werewolf to stake it, it won’t be bothered at all by a little “splinter”. Nor would a zombie. A regular bullet in the brain of a zombie would stop it, but of course it would do nothing more than annoy a vampire or a werewolf.
However (you might say) chopping off the head has proven quite effective against both zombies and vampires and it would probably work on a werewolf as well. Well, that is a possibility (after all I don’t claim to know everything on the subject), however; if you watch the movie “The Monster Squad“, there is a scene in which they stuff a stick of dynamite in the waistband of a werewolf. He gets blown into several pieces and at first seems to be a goner, but after a minute he reintegrates and just looks extra mad at the inconvenience.
Therefore, I think the only thing that could kill this Ultra-Monster is a silver-coated, wooden bullet in the brain (and the heart, for good measure). But who would have the necessary skills to make something like that?
Hey, I just thought of something that totally blew my own mind. What if King Kong was attacked by a werewolf, a vampire and a zombie…?
Well, I’m busier than a one-toothed beaver in the Forests of Ubangme this week-end. So instead of me writing a post I’ll just upload a video from YouTube. Here’s James At War giving a pretty accurate (in my opinion) description of todays pop-stars. Enjoy.