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The Ultimate Monster

May 21st, 2008 · 8 Comments

A little while back I re-watched the movie, “Underworld“. I started thinking about the idea of a werewolf/vampire hybrid. I believe they could have done a lot more with such a character. But more importantly, it led me to ponder something else. What if a werewolf/vampire hybrid was attacked by a zombie? You’d have a werewolf/vampire/ZOMBIE hybrid. How awesome would that be?

wolf.jpgSuch a creature would be damn near utterly unstoppable. A silver bullet kills a werewolf, but doesn’t do anything to a zombie or a vampire. A vampire is killed by a wooden stake in the heart. Now, even if you could get close enough to a werewolf to stake it, it won’t be bothered at all by a little “splinter”. Nor would a zombie. A regular bullet in the brain of a zombie would stop it, but of course it would do nothing more than annoy a vampire or a werewolf.

However (you might say) chopping off the head has proven quite effective against both zombies and vampires and it would probably work on a werewolf as well. Well, that is a possibility (after all I don’t claim to know everything on the subject), however; if you watch the movie “The Monster Squad“, there is a scene in which they stuff a stick of dynamite in the waistband of a werewolf. He gets blown into several pieces and at first seems to be a goner, but after a minute he reintegrates and just looks extra mad at the inconvenience.

Therefore, I think the only thing that could kill this Ultra-Monster is a silver-coated, wooden bullet in the brain (and the heart, for good measure). But who would have the necessary skills to make something like that?

Hey, I just thought of something that totally blew my own mind. What if King Kong was attacked by a werewolf, a vampire and a zombie…?

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Tags: Things That Suddenly Occurred To Me

8 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Tammy // May 22, 2008 at 10:39 am

    Is Stephen King paying you to come up with new book ideas? Couldn’t ya just get one of fire throwers and turn the werewolf/vampire/zombie/giant ape into a crispy critter or better yet nuke it?

  • 2 Ernie // May 23, 2008 at 6:37 am

    Maybe, but as I mentioned you need a silver bullet to kill a werewolf. So would a nuke really do the trick?

  • 3 Corrina // May 23, 2008 at 11:41 pm

    That is some serious thinking there pal. lol

    Corrina’s last blog post..Friend Fun and Booty Free

  • 4 Tim Ebl // May 24, 2008 at 10:55 am

    Nukes kill everything except radioactive mutated cockroaches. You gotta use raid with silver dust and holy water on those.

  • 5 JD at I Do Things // May 24, 2008 at 11:55 am

    For my money, nothing is scarier than zombies. Especially FAST zombies like in 28 Days Later (I know they technically weren’t zombies, but they were zombielike).

    I think the only way to kill a WereZombPire would be to cut off its head, put it in a blender, pour the mixture into a tupperware container, freeze it, then defrost it, and flush it down the toilet. Then blow up the sewer system.

    JD at I Do Things’s last blog post..I Cried When David Cook Won American Idol so you don’t have to

  • 6 Jeff from Shaggy Bag // May 25, 2008 at 5:18 pm

    Yeah…nukes to kill everything…except cockroaches. I was watching a special on TV the other night where they proved that cockroches and animals of the sort could survive high levels of radiation.

  • 7 hari // May 25, 2008 at 9:32 pm

    If I were one or two of the actors we see on Television these days, I’d just try to reform the monster with a long speech about morality rather than try to destroy it :D

  • 8 Canucklehead // May 26, 2008 at 8:44 am

    The monster as described would truly be something - I’m just spitballin’ here but perhaps we could maybe make it bionic or something. While we are at it - maybe some sort of sense of knowing your weaknesses coupled with a biting wit and advanced ability with words - especially in the area of insults? Oh, and the voice from that Fran Drescher (sp?) bitch. Wait - maybe bad B.O. too … okay, I’ll stop now …
    PS - bad breath? back-stabber?

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