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Comment RSSBeer Gift Baskets - Great Gifts For Any Occasion!
6.08.08 # 17:50 # Food and Drink # 20 CommentsIt seems that some of you out there have trouble picking gifts. There are few things more dreaded than not being able to locate a present in time for that special day or big event. Fear not, we have a solution for you. After much deliberation, Ernie and I have agreed on what may be the most universal gift of all.
Beer gift baskets are the near perfect item for anyone on your list. Other than an AA meeting or a baptism, you can send one of these babies to any gathering and someone will enjoy it. Oh, and guys? Probably no good for your wedding anniversary. On the other hand, ladies would be well advised to get these for their men, who in general would be ecstatic to receive such a perfect bundle. If you can wrap the beer basket in with a 56″ Flat Screen Plasma, all the better.
Birthdays? Great Match. Even if the one who is having a birthday is underage, doesn’t like beer (weirdo!) or is on some medication that counter-indicates alcohol consumption, a beer gift basket will still come in handy. Little Bobby might only have 5 candles on his cake, but his Daddy might love a Blue Beaver Beer at 5:00 in the afternoon. Depending on how many of the little weasels are at the party, there may be more than one adult there in need of a brew. Ernie has been know to quaff several beer while enjoying the ‘company’ of other people’s toddlers.
Wedding gift openings could really use a beer gift basket to tune things up a little. After opening presents with towels, toasters, soap dishes, pillows, fancy eatin’ dishes, blenders and what have you, the groom needs to see something that is mainly for him. Let’s face it, he’s just sitting there suffering quietly through the bride’s gift opening. None of that stuff is for him, so imagine how much he will appreciate your thoughtful Blue Beaver Beer Gift Basket.
Funerals. A lot of family members really want a drink at times like these. Tact is needed to determine if a beer gift basket is appropriate for a particular individual or family. A grieving young widow who is left with no father for her young children is a bad match. But if you are going to the wake of Uncle Frank, who was known to hoist a few in his time with his pals, you might be able to get away with it. These bereavement baskets might be quite popular if they also contained some stronger spirits as well.
And lets not forget Christmas! Not getting along so well with the inlaws? Get them a gift packed with the goodness of beer and see if they warm to you a little. Hopefully they won’t decide you are completely beyond redemption (you wastrel!).
One of these baskets might contain more than one variety of beer or just a specific brand. They usually also contain delicacies such as gourmet crackers, beef jerky, salted peanuts or mixed gourmet nuts, samples of gourmet cheeses, dried rhinoceros pizzle and other unique snack items. Some baskets come in a beer bucket, a galvanized or stainless steel bucket big enough to hold twelve beer.
So next time you are stuck for a gift, order up a beer gift basket. Even if the intended receiver is unhappy with it, a re-gift will certainly work out. The very best of these of course contain Blue Beaver Beer, although if necessary you can just put any old beer in there to match the recipient’s tastes. Please think before hand to decide if the gift will be welcome. Your ninety year old Aunt Florence might like a warm pair of slippers instead.
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I love gift baskets. i hope that people that occasionally give me gifts come across this post…
Andy’s last blog post..On Producing Music
Ohhhh, beer…. gotta love it. Nobody ever buys me beer… ever.
Hey RT, if it wasn’t for the shipping charges (and probably customs) I’d send you a six pack of my local favorite, Firestone beer. I’ll leave the Blue Beaver supplying up to the Redneck boys. - Steve, a loyal noble UV minion, and seller of minion made trade show display booths
Awesome idea! I’m going to have to see if I can find a reseller so I can publicize these for my customers.
lisa’s last blog post..80’s Decade Box Gift Basket - Classic 80’s Candy
hmmm, my second comment this morning didn’t post so I’m going to try this again…
hey guys,
Great idea on the beer gift baskets, but I forgot to ask, what the heck is dried rhinoceros pizzle??? It doesn’t sound very good to me…
~ Steve, a loyal noble UV minion, and purveyor of pizzle-free trade show display booths
My birthday is coming up in a couple of months and I’m going to be expecting one of those beer baskets from the bar! ;o)
How about I just send you an envelope full of beer, Tammy? Postage is a lot cheaper.
Hey guys .. good news, bad news.
GOOD NEWS: The Redneck & Weird Al is featured prominently in an upcoming Canucklehead post.
BAD NEWS: It’s actually a paid post, meaning I’m kinda whoring you guys out. Yes, Weird Al included - GAWD! I FEEL SO DIRTY!
Anyway, keep an eye out - CHEERS!
Hey Steve,
Your comments got dumped in Akismet for some reason. I found you between two very low class porn comments. Hopefully I managed to wash all the slime off your legitimate comment after being thrown in the trash like that!
Surely you have heard of Dried Rhinoceros Pizzle! If you want to find out exactly what it is, watch this video:
http://revver.com/video/216336/affiliate/77905/tim-ernie-show-episode-1/
Hey Tim,
Thanks for getting my comment above of the porn and spam sandwich. I thought it might have got stuck there because I used the word “pizzle“. I watched your great video (the sound didn’t match your mouths in the second part, but it could have been my computer). Very funny. You guys have sophisticated tastes. I think I would need a lot of Blue Beaver to wash the pizzle down.
~ Steve, a loyal noble UV minion, and purveyor of pizzle-free trade show display booths
PS. Hope I don’t get sandwiched again… I feel so dirty.
I can tell you, I would be busting some heads if I were presented with a beer basket for a wedding anniversary. Now, a plasma TV? That I would appreciate.
JD at I Do Things’s last blog post..I Had a Colonoscopy so you don’t have to
Yeah, I don’t know if a recovered alcoholic would enjoy a beer gift basket, lol. Though really any gift basket of tasty beverages & accompanying snacks would be nice too - I love Starbucks
Ray’s last blog post..Is Alcoholics Anonymous Effective?
JD: I wouldn’t try giving a beer basket to my wife unless there was a hundred dollar bill wrapped around each bottle or a box with a ring in it under the beer. We already have a pretty big tv, but it was for me really.
Ray: Yeah, hopefully a gift giver can be sensitive to everyone’s special needs.
Would the beer basket make a good congratulations gift to anyone who just passed their driver’s test? Or how about a you’re fired/going away party? How about a good luck gift for a Navy test pilot about to take his exam?
The most genius thing about this is that it hasn’t been done! Hold that thought…I just googled it. There is such a thing. That’s freaking sweet!
This is still one of the funniest posts I’ve read in a while though. Thanks for the laugh guys.
teriyaki beef jerkys last blog post..World Kitchens Teriyaki
“If you can wrap the beer basket in with a 56? Flat Screen Plasma, all the better.” Dont forget the Playstation 3 as well!
That will keep the majority of men happy for a long time!