Hi-Tech Redneck Camping

Camping means different things to different people. To some it means roughing it all the way – hiking in five miles, lean-to’s made out of branches, sleeping on the ground, eating pork n’ beans right out of the can with your fingers after you smash it open with a rock ’cause  you forgot the can opener. Those people aren’t me. These days we use a camper so we don’t have to sleep on the ground anymore. I have a lot of back troubles, and I need a real bed or I’m just not having any fun. We don’t have a television set or a DVD player, but we do bring our share of technology with us.

We spent plenty of time camping in Sebekia last summer. There were between 3 and 5 families each time we went out, meaning we had up to 12 children stampeding around the campsite. Add to that 5 dogs (good thing none of us has a dog allergy and 10 adults, and it becomes a pretty busy place.

On occasion, we had to fire up the ‘ole chitty chitty bang bang, my antique PC laptop, and see what was going on out there in the real world. Thanks to the invention of the aircard, hi-speed internet can be found anywhere you can get cell service, even in our Redneck Paradise. I never take my Mac camping. It doesn’t like to rough it, even when I pack it in one of those special  computer backpacks with extra padding and a gajillion pockets for extra goodies.

You can probably imagine how hard it is to fit everyone around the campfire. With all the kids crowded in there with their chairs, it makes for some excitement. As long as no one gets a flaming marshmellow in the face, or a a jab with a hot dog stick, we consider the evening a success. A couple of times we built two separate fires; one for children and one for adults. The toddlers stay with the adults of course!

Some nights the alcohol consumption is a little high. It’s amazing how much Blue Beaver Beer a bunch of redneck campers can drink! But most of the time we are a pretty mellow bunch of campers. We camp pretty close to home so that every couple of days we can all toddle off to our respective farms and make sure all the livestock and whatnot have enough food and water. We rarely go to a conventional campsite, since we like to make up our own rules and get away from all the other people. Our private campground is fairly isolated and we don’t have to worry about intrusive campers making noise all night and such. Unless we stay up late and do it ourselves, that is!

10 thoughts on “Hi-Tech Redneck Camping

  1. Hey Tim, When I was younger, I was into backpacking. My friends and I would plan and judge a hike based on how much ground we could cover each day. We often ended up setting up camp and eating dinner in the dark. These days I’m more into car camping, when I even get the chance. I guess that happens with age. I’m not sure I could get an internet signal at any of my campsites though. Wow. ~ Steve (aka Mr Trade Show Display and former full-of-energy backpacker)
    PS. I’ve never forgotten a can opener, but I have forgotten a wine bottle opener. :(
    PPS. Does Blue Beaver have a twist top?

  2. Steve: You could just smash the top of the bottle off – I saw that in a movie once so it must work.
    . Blue Beaver Beer is twistoff, except for the cans, of course :)

  3. Hi Tim,
    Good to know that the Blue Beaver bottle is twist-off. I’ve never tried the “smash the top off” before, and guess I’m not man enough to drink the random glass shards…
    In all seriousness, though, a friend did show me how to pry the cap off a beer bottle with a spoon. You’ve got to hold the neck in one hand and use the back of your thumb as a pry point. It hurts a bit, but it’s a great party trick, and again, is much better that drinking glass shards…
    ~ Steve (aka the trade show display guy)

  4. Florida Girl: Hey, I gotta fit all my important online activities in somehow!
    Corrina: Yeah, I miss the pic of the bar too. That template was geting tired for me tho.
    Canucklehead: I think I’ve seen you and your friends camping before. Does any of you drive a blue 1979 Ford Bronco?
    Steve: Hey, thanks for he bottle opening technique. Too bad that won’t work on a wine bottle too.

  5. Tammy: I can see you positioning yourself in front of the vent – kinda awkward, eh?
    Nina: you’re right, they get a little warm. On the other hand, there’s no noisy fan blowing air out of the side. I still can’t believe PC laptops have fans – weird! My old one could blowdry Tammy’s hair, and it makes noise much like a blowdryer.
    Pete: My wife doesn’t bring out the good china either :)

  6. Petra: There”s enough activities where we camp to pretty much keep the kids out of our hair. And, we have a bunch of parents handy, so we all keep an eye out for each other’s troublemakers.

  7. I love to camp, if by camping you mean staying at a 5-star resort. Actually, the only part of camping I like is the food (and I’m not talking about raw pork-and-beans, either). Give me a stick, a hot dog, and a roaring fire. If there aren’t any marshmallows, no problem. I’ll just get room service back at the hotel.

    JD at I Do Thingss last blog post..I Know Fred so you don’t have to

  8. David: mosquitoes are a real pain. If you light a real smoky fire, that chases them off. It also makes it a little hard to breath… haven’t really come up with a good answer except piles of insect repellent.
    Corey: I know what you mean. We don’t do “real” camping, but no one does. Unless you know someone that hikes in 10 miles with nothing but an axe, a knife, and 2 onions, then kills some wildlife with his bare hands, builds a shelter out of tree branches and makes his own sleeping bag out of freshly skinned animal outsides, and has the animal insides for supper roasted over a fire he made by rubbing two pieces of wood together using his shoelaces to make a bow. Nope, people just ain’t as tuff as they used ta be…

  9. JD: hey, thanks for stopping by! I love hot dogs and smokies cooked over a campfire. But what kind of hotel will get you marshmallows from room service?

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