An amazing and fantastic thing happened the one day at this fast food joint. I hate to admit that I ate there, but I stopped to get a snack at this one place in Innisfail, Alberta. I don’t want to say the name of the place, but it has an upside down golden “W”, has some clown for a mascot, and rhymes with Frack-donalds. No, it wasn’t KFC, but good guess tho.
I was in line to order, behind a mother with two children. She looked like she might be around 28, and she had a boy about 10, a girl about 6. The girl was throwing quite the fit.
“I want the …….!”
“I can’t afford it. You can have the happy meal.”
“But I want the ……!”
“No.”
At this point, the little girl sat down at a nearby table and just started wailing, loud and high pitched. Everyone in the place was staring.
“I’ve had enough,” the mother suddenly said. “We’re leaving. Come on, Johnny.” (Not the boy’s real name.)
She didn’t even get to order and she was outa there. The poor little boy looked really unhappy, but he just glared at his sister as the mother led the way out. The little girl just kinda flopped a little on the seat and kept on wailing as her family headed out.
An older guy who was also in line, was really staring. Apparently he thought that the mother was in the wrong, the way he looked like he was going to run over and help the ‘poor’ little girl. He was heading that way.
The girl’s brother was staring in through the window, and the mother was standing right in front, by her minivan, waiting. It wasn’t like she was very far away, and this guy was going to interfere!
I was wondering if I should say anything to this trouble maker, but just then the girl realized she wasn’t going to order her mother around and everyone was looking at her. She shut up and left, going meekly to the minivan.
I applaud this woman! She did the right thing. The parents have to be the authority figure in the family. She didn’t hit her child, she didn’t yell or drag the girl by the arm. She decided, as the legal guardian of the children, that this girl would not be rewarded for her crappy behavior. She risked public condemnation from nosey losers who can’t leave parents alone. Raising children with tough love isn’t easy sometimes.
There are times when society should step in and help a kid out. Abuse, physical or mental, should not be tolerated. Also, building self confidence in children is of utmost importance. However, discipline is lacking these days and it shows.
If you are one of these busy bodies, and you are out at the mall, try to mind your own business. If you see some father pounding his child in the head with a brick, then sure! Step in. If you come across a mother about to drive off with the carseat (and baby!) still on the roof, get angry.
If my kids are acting up and I dare to tell them in public to stop and make them listen, you better stay out of my way or you will be next on the discipline block!
There was one occasion where we had to leave all of our children in the van for 5 minutes. It was for a surgery, one of us had to get in right away. My 14 year old was there in the vehicle. He had a learner’s license already (by this I mean he was recognized by law as old enough to operate a motor vehicle on a street with supervision). He had his first aid course. He had his baby sitting course. He is completely qualified to babysit his little brother and sister, who were 5 and 7 at the time. In fact, a lot of young parents are less qualified!
As far as children being alone for a couple minutes, I see toddlers standing by the street in the suburbs all the time. I narrowly missed running over a skateboard that a very small child had lost control of once. No parents to be seen, and no grannies reporting said parents, either. And you can’t tell me those kids buying slurpees at the 7-11 had an adult escort to the store. Those six year olds walked there through traffic on their own. At least my kids had door locks to protect them. And a good thing, too, or overprotective crazies would have broken in to ‘save’ them.
It was cloudy, and the van was parked right in front of a big building in the shade with all the windows cracked (this was in Red Deer, a very low crime place, so very unlikely to be bothered by undesirables, or so we thought). If Andrew, the older boy, thought he needed to get out of the vehicle because it was too hot, he could and would have. Amazingly, he has the common sense to keep from dying in the heat. But IT WAS NOT TOO HOT as it was a cool day. Guess how many busy bodies stopped to throw in their two cents in five minutes?
Three older personages. And they proceeded to wait there to make sure that we, as evil parents, got a piece of their minds. That’s because, in the olden days when they were young, they WERE PERFECT! That’s right, they were so much better at raising children than us!
I remember sitting in the car as a little boy with my brother, lets see, was it every weekend? At least once every two weeks. We used to wave at the other kids in the other cars as we sat in front of the bar. That’s right, my mom and dad took us to the bar and left us outside in the car, along side all the other cars with children in them. Then they drove home after having a few. And then there was, what, EVERY time any kid went to town with mom to sit in the car in front of the bank? Children never went in the bank. We all sat out in the car.
So these people better not get in my face if they were of that generation, because I know it wasn’t just my parents. Maybe it wasn’t right, but they did it, and that gives them no ground to stand on with me when I make sensible decisions. Go work on saving baby seals or something.
Just so you are wondering, there are no cars with kids sitting in them out in front of the Redneck Bar and Grill. I already looked.
I really dislike over-indulgent parents who pamper to their kids’ tantrums in public. They seem to be those parents who usually think that their kids’ antics are “cute” and should be encouraged. They usually thinly veil their encouragement with mild reproaches which usually don’t work and which only serve to add more fuel to the tantrums.
I think the problem is that in the old days, those parents’ parents were really strict and disciplinarian and now these parents want to make up for what they perceive was bad upbringing by their own parents and thus go completely the other way (which is also totally wrong).
haris last blog post..Moral Responsibility for Sale
I wish more parents would follow this mom’s example and just remove themselves and their kids from the situation. Little babies can’t be blamed for ear-piercing, high-pitched squeals, but when kids who are old enough to know better start making (loud) scenes, I applaud the mom or dad who has not only the parental know-how but also the empathy for the ears of other patrons to just leave.
But if I see a parent lay a hand on their kid in public, I will say something. Oh, yes, I will.
JD at I Do Thingss last blog post..I Suffer for My Hair so you don’t have to
I definitely agree with you, parents should be able to discipline their children as they see fit. After all the parents are the only ones that really care weather the children turn out to be decent adults.
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hey Tim,
I agree with you completely.
That said, I have to give you a hard time about the place you went with the clown mascot.
If you recall, you recently wrote on someone’s blog:
“Supersize Me was an awesome movie! I watched it with my whole family, and now we pretty much stay far away from McDonald’s. The children never complain; that movie seemed to make a real impact on them.”
I know “pretty much” provides some wiggle room, but are you admitting that Mickey D’s is like crack?
I can’t tell you how many times my wife has had her “final” cup of coffee. Me, I’ll be drinking coffee for the rest of my life, “caffeine-health-effects” be damned. Beer too.
~ Steve, aka the trade show guru
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Bravo to that mother!
I agree with you. It was the right thing to do and I hardly ever see it end that way. Typically, the parent will try to reason with the child to calm them down, promise to give them a treat when they get home or just let them annoy the other patrons for as long as it takes. Denying the children what they came for was probably the most effective thing the mom could have done. I applaud her.
(I say this as a childless person, so perhaps I have no room to talk. But I remember very well what discipline worked for me when I was a kid and I like to think I’d follow in my parents’ footsteps).
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Hari: Most likely you are right, and they are overcompensating. Using their heads might help!
I’m guessing there are a lot of bloggers that have no children. I wonder what the significance of that is. Maybe a lot more time on their hands? Still, being human, you have a say in how humans are treated.
JD: By all means, if someone sees harm about to befall a child they should step up. After using their noggin!
James: As they see fit, as long as it is ‘right’! There is so much gray area in parenting that no one can say what is absolutely right or wrong, however it is generally considered ‘wrong’ to inflict humiliating, mental and / or physical damage.
Steve: After I eat at Crackdonalds, I always feel like a burnt out drug addict, full of remorse and shame. I try to avoid that upside down ‘W’ whenever I’m hungry. Thankfully, they no longer have the hot mustard sauce that I was really hooked on, so I don’t need to buy chicken nuggets anymore.
Tammy: Hey, where you been? Is the weather as crappy at your house as it is over here?
Kathy: You can’t reason with most adults, so why would it work for children?
Great job Mom! I can only imagine what would have happened to me as a kid had I pulled half the crap I see kids do now. Can you say “beaten half to death and drug the rest of the way”? I can. I love you Mom & Dad.
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I just have to start counting and my kid straightens up. People often look at me and wonder what happens if I get to 3. They don’t want to know… and more importantly, my kid doesn’t want to know, so he knocks it off immediately.
I don’t really know what happens if I get to three, but thankfully my child has the good sense not to push it when I get to the point of counting so we haven’t found out.
I am certainly not a fan of parents who reward bad behavior. Mama don’t play that!
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If i saw this woman again i would have to tell her she did the right thing. I would be smiling after seeing that. Makes me releaze some people do not let thier kids run thier life and we need more of the people like her. The ones who give thier kids everything will get paid back when they are older. What goes around comes around and if you give your kids everything then you will have some real problems later.
I couldn’t agree more. She should be an example to each and everyone. It is just the right way on how to discipline kids.