I’m certain everyone is aware that Monday nights at the Redneck we have our weekly Bar-room Brawls. The event has grown considerably since it first started and we have had to make a few changes. First of all our tag-team champions, Tammy-The-Mom-Who-Knows-Everything and The-Absolutely-True-Gerri, retired undefeated. They decided that since no one could beat them, it was only fair to let someone else have a fighting chance. Every now and again though, they dullen up their trusty-rusty knives and step back into the ring just to knock the current champions down a notch.
In addition we decided it was best to build a separate area adjacent to the bar. Known as the Medium Round Gardens, the arena can seat 12 with standing room for 5 more and it has been filled to capacity on more than one occasion. It started out as just a tent on the lawn, but all those people tramping around combined with all of the actual fighting really tore up the grass. That’s why we made the decision to instal synthetic grass. Seeing as it is much more resilient than the real stuff it really stands up to the pounding it takes on a weekly basis.
Since we built the arena we felt it would probably be best if we diversified a bit and found some other uses for it. From time to time we book concerts, both White Noise and Flailed Cabbage were complete sell outs (the shows, I mean, not the bands themselves). We also have had a few guest speakers. In fact just last week we had two speakers come in for a special pre-Valentine’s Day seminar. Both speakers offered their unique relationship advice for men.
I don’t want to give too much away (because I might get sued) but I want to offer some review/preview of what you can expect if you ever have the chance to attend one of their seminars. Anne-Michelle Smythe said that if you are a rich, older man you should very seriously consider marrying a women in her early twenties. She will do things for you on your honeymoon that you will remember until your dying day. In fact she will most likely continue to do such things until your dying day. On the other side of the spectrum, Bernie Wedgeman has been married four times and now is a self-described “born again bachelor”. He advises that you really can buy love and purchasing it by the hour is far more affordable than paying for it for the rest of your life.
Personally, I am still hoping to get Larry Winget to do his seminar here at the Redneck. He claims he can prove that “People Are Idiots”. I would sure like to know more on that subject. Soon I am sure that we will find even more uses for the Medium Round Gardens maybe we could host the UFC sometime; you know the Under Foot Children.
Funny that synthetic grass looks more resilient than the real grass. By the way, I would love to hear a seminar on relationship advices for men. As men, we don’t Usually like to get advices, but it can help. Thank for the post.
There is an even better solution. For about $75, a company will come and spray paint your dead grass green. Its all the rage with foreclosed houses here in Las Vegas.
Charless last blog post..Redneck Romance on Craigslist
Hey Tim,
I wasn’t sure what kind of “grass” you were talking about until I read the post…
I was thinking it was about Easter Baskets.
Your “White Noise” link is confusing me. Do we get a chance to edit your posts now? I think I just need your logon id and password.
~ Steve, aka the keeping-you-on-your-toes trade show guru
Steves last blog post..My Wife is Famous
Synthetic grass! Why haven’t I thought about it ?? This not only solves several problems, but also takes a huge load of work off my back. Thanks
Damnit! Someone stole my idea! I’d been working on ‘synthetic grass’ for ages but continue to struggle with the fact that it remains pretty much unsmokeable. As well, as a father of two I can assure you that all children are constantly ‘under foot’ or at least should be if you are parenting properly. (NOTE: wearing golf shoes at the time is too much.)
CHEERS!
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I’m soooo into Charles’s idea of painting dead grass green. That is very, uh- me. LOL
So confusing title you have choosen … thaks for the interesting post…
I have to say that your articles are worth reading. One more thing a man should know about women, a good woman will not be interested in sex with you until she knows you respect her.
I must say that I agree with ag, I was so confused by your post title that I had to click through the SERPS to your site
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Synthetic grass may take a beating better, but when you land face first into it, I’ll bet you’d prefer some nice soft real grass.
I think you should have Anne and Bernie have a debate then hold the brawl right after. I think they are both saying the same thing you can buy love and if you have enough money you can buy someone good looking by the hour or get a better rate by the years.
I get confused with the title and the post content. Synthetic grass and body paint with grass?
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Big parties can really do some great damage to the lawn. I suppose synthetic grass wasn’t a bad idea. But even a guy like Bernie Wedgeman would probably prefer some real grass for his Bachelor’s pad.
I could do with replacing my grass with synthetic grass because I really hate gardening!
Fix Relationshipss last blog post..To Get Back With Ex Face Up To Your Mistakes
I got a bit confused with the title and the content, but this article is worth reading after all!
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This is so cool I want some.
what i really liked is your title, which made m to go through the entire post, nice catchy title indeed.
Wow! cool tips. Should work like a magic on my Girlfriend.
hey,
your post and the title of your post is so intruiging. this article is really catchy. By the way, synthetic grass was not a bad idea.
Cheers,
John
Always good finding tips for romantic dinners, thanks for sharing..
Hi! This is a very interesting tip. But, the title should have been something else. It’s a bit confusing. Anyway, the content was very nice. I’ll try it out myself. I hope you could put in some more tips. Thank you very much.
Nice post. Yes I agree to the comment above, synthetic grass look more good than real ones. LOL
Very innovative idea, and I think if your post explain to us more detailed will be better.
Joanna Spiliotis last blog post..CPA Technology Update
yes me too like others a little confused about the title of this post. But after reading it I found it helpful. The last part of your post is interesting with talking about that guy who buys love. For men who dont want to stay in serious relationships and want a bunch of short lasting ones I guess it will work but I think most of us really want to be well loved and respected at the end of the day from that one special person.
get back with your girlfriends last blog post..How To Get Back With Your Ex Girlfriend And Save Your Relationship
So installing synthetic grass if good relationship advice for men? lol Pretty good idea if there are a lot of fights!
Keeps the g/f from complaining about the grass being torn up!
Canuckleheads last blog post..FLoyd Mayweather Jr talks trash about MMA
Well, if my DH follows this advice, I will surely accept it wholeheartedly. I appreciate it a lot knowing I want to put a piece of it in our backyard.LOL
It’s a synthetic grass world. Much easier to take care of things that aren’t real. Great idea though but if I put it in my yard it would take 30 bucks from the guy who cuts my grass.
Great tip! Well, I liked your post and I think that it will help some people.
“He claims he can prove that “People Are Idiots”!” Well, I don’t think it’s a difficult thing to prove
Keep up the good work!
Bye
maybe they could try that grass spraying technique at Wimbledon Tennis, when it starts to go brown and the players moan ?
Huh?! I was a bit confused too. But this is an interesting post. I agree with Relationship Expert 100%. Thank you.
Hehe… fake grass at a bar? Pretty ingenious. I’ll bet it really is cheaper to buy love by the hour, too. Gotta do the math on that.
I am glad that synthetic things are catching up every part and parcel of our live. All homes in henderson, nv have them in their lawn and its quite common in other parts of NV.
Regads,
Mack
I would like to re-surface it with synthetic grass but i just want to know what it costs.thanks for this intersting post…
My wife love it! hehehe
thanks for sharing it.
Some good points you have made here. I would consider attending one of these seminars.
Your dying day may be hastened by marrying a late 20s when you are in in 60s!
Trust me synthetic grass is more valuable than the natural. We had both in our yard and we found very hard to manage the real grass. It gets eroded when rain comes or looks shabby after the rains. Moreover the synthetic stuff is easy to manage and even if its worn out you can arrange for a new one easily.
Sounds great, cuts back on doing the gardening – may have to invest into this.
I would love the idea of painting the dead grass green lol…
Jana
The title really got me thinking what the content is all about. But after reading it through, it’s not a bad idea putting on that synthetic grass than the real ones. Not that it requires less attention in comparison to the real grass, it also gives a good sight.
really very useful article for those who do not know how to give synthetic grass.like your way of explanation.keep posting.
like your post.after gone through your post i am 100% sure all men definitely learn how to give synthetic grass.thanks for sharing this useful information with the users of this blog.
I am sure there are thousands of companies who spray green paint on your dead grass and give their life back. That way lady will be also impressed. Synthetic grasses are not just my kind of thing
Funny how synthetic grass is all the rage now-a-days. Back in high school they spent like $100 million rebuilding the stadium and putting in synth. grass… I had to deal with it during P.E. Let me tell you it hurts alot more to get tackled on synthetic grass than the real stuff.
Well synthetic grass can be a really water saver for those that have big lawns. You will have to invest in the right kind otherwise it looks really bad.
The idea of presenting synthetic grass to your lucky lady is not a bad one. I think, she is really going to get impressed.
Great information on synthetic grass.hope all men use some of your tips. I always wondered why I don’t get the synthetic grass! I really like the idea of synthetic grass. i like what what you preach!
.-= monika@phone coaching´s last blog ..Lovelessness- Can One Person Save a Marriage =-.
In my opinion synthetic grass is the better option for a men and i think green painting is a great option though ,and lady is going to be impressed.thanks!
.-= jim@relationship coaching´s last blog ..Lovelessness- Can One Person Save a Marriage =-.
Was suprised when I read the first line about bar room brawls and thought I had mis-read it. Had to re-read it twice! Glad the post went in a different direction.
Hi,
Well i think ladies only want attention of their partners, so they doesn’t need any type of gifts and all. I have read your article and truly speaking that it really makes an impact on ladies. I think only mutual understanding is the only way through with you can maintain a good balance in your relationship.