So, lately I’ve been wonder exactly what the average lay-person can do to generate web traffic either for their own site or for someone else’s. Well, first of all you need to ensure that the web is strong and large enough to support increased traffic. Then select a browser that has all of the features that you think you might require. Then decide exactly what kind of traffic you want to generate on the web. Now there is an old song about how a whole herd of elephants went out to play on the web one day. However, I feel this might be just slightly exaggerated. They are very few webs that could support the traffic of more than two or at most three juvenile elephants. Your best bet is really spiders and/or spider-like creatures.
It is quite a complicated process to just naturally attract more spiders to one web, you’re better off to go out and collect them from their own webs and then put them on your site. Although it may be tempting to try and attract flies, this is not really a good idea. They will simply get stuck and then you web traffic won’t be able to get around and the whole system will just basically crash.
Often times people will try to use a magnifying glass as a browser for their webs. Unfortunately, they usually realize too late that they neglected to factor in the the angle of the sun’s rays going through the lens and the end result is a fire wall. The other main problem with increased web traffic is the increased possibility of viral infection. The web itself can’t get a virus but your spiders just might. You will definitely want to invest in some manner or anti-virus. On the other hand, sometimes it is beneficial to get your web-site to go viral; that way it can spread (in a good way) to a vast number of other web-sites around the world.
As for what types of spiders are you want on your web, there are a wide variety to choose from. The wolf spider may be one of your best choices because it will go out and hunt. That way it will help bring traffic back to your web. The recluse isn’t very exciting, it will just stay in it’s house and not walk around on the web very much. The black widow may help to attract single men to your web-site, but the drawback is that she doesn’t support repeat customers. Many times it is just best to experiment with different spiders or even other creatures just to see what generates the most traffic. One thing to keep in mind, though is that spiders have multiple babies at one time, so you might want to purchase a few double jogging strollers so that they can get out on the web with the children and get some exercise.
Spiders are territorial and don’t like other spiders, so you need to provide them with plenty of pages on your site for them to creep in and find something they like so that they will stay for a while.
Hey good method to increase traffic to website. You have given complete information about Double Jogging Stroller. A very informative blog!
That’s an interesting analogy you use there. Comparing web crawlers to live spiders shows that you have a very extensive knowledge of how they work.\
Kudos to you!
I enjoyed this very much…I may have even learned something here!!! :0)
Ka-Boom Marketing looks interesting will check it out.
Cheers
PS…I don’t need a double jogging stroller! LOL
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What you need for your spiders is some bait. Spiders love bugs – so you’ll need to introduce a few of these to your web.
What if we have arachniphobia? Will a cricket do as well?
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But what would the spider eat? It can’t eat our content as it must be brought back to their hiding place (in Silicon Valley, where all the spiders meet after dark)!
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Don’t forget to put out a sticky web to keep those spiders forEVER!
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Hi Ernie,
Very entertaining way to describe the inner workings of the web. I will admit, up until that last sentence, I was kind of wondering about the title of your post though.
… and then when I clicked the link, for a second I thought I was on my wife’s new blog about our baby daughter, as it uses that exact same theme.
Todd
p.s. If you’ll endulge me an additional “plug” … my wife’s blog is http://jaidenmorris.com … in case anybody would like to stop by and leave an encouraging comment or two for a brand new blogger … thanks in advance.
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hi
yes you need some spider because spider love bugs thanks for this article
I had no idea about this issue. Thanks for sharing it. Spiders all the way!
hi
very interesting way to describe the inner workings of the web.
good post …….
Awesome post, been after trying to increase traffic to my site for a while, I’ll have to give the spiders a go.
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I looked and I looked again and I never saw any reference to Godzilla at all and I just didn’t get it.
Then of course it hit me — Double Jogging Stroller is code for Godzilla! Hello?! The spiders and the viruses are cool and all but for it all to simply lead to Godzilla by the end of the post: Boring!
I applaud your artistry sir, and I know I’m not the only one whose breath was taken away by your nimble journey from web traffic to strollers— it was simply the only way to conclude the post, but most would’ve perished along the way.
Congratulations Tom,you seem to be the only one who understood my complex and subtle code phrase. Of course the idea is that if you have Godzilla on your web he will chase away the elephants who would otherwise step on your spiders.
You know, I can’t believe this. Most people never would’ve mentioned the elephants for lack of courage, but you seem to have no fear sir! Bravo!
(One can only speculate whether you’ll bring up the dragons and sea monsters in your next post, but I, in my small way, will most certainly be staying tuned. Holla!)
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That is quite an interesting analogy you have going there. Not quite sure what the elephants represent or what double jogging strollers have to do with anything, but I guess it is a case in point sort of thing.
All this talk about spiders reminded me about a Far Side cartoon where a couple of spiders set up a web at the bottom of a slide. As a big fat kid gets ready to come down one spider says to the other “if we pull this off we’ll eat like kings”
Wow, this is a new concept for me. The old fashion in getting traffic now is getting obsolete and new ways are coming out to life. Good post!
I think spider is most important thing for search engine.
Great post. You get mutiple terms spidered and had fun at same time. Not sure how hard you thought about topic or content but seems like it worked.
Great post. I like the interweaving of the “spider” terms. Makes me think this is the kind of post that would be entertaining to scan comments and see who read, and who didn’t, to see who’s really commenting. LOL – good post and nice little “analogies.”
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Although non of it make sense, I am utterly amused by your hilarious creative writing. Very clever and entertaining indeed.
I don’t know if I could bring myself to push a stroller full of spiders around. They really kinda creep me out. Great post though; definitely good for a much needed laugh.
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hi
very interesting way to describe the inner workings of the web.
good post …
Can you still fit a small child in the stroller along with the spiders?
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I’m and ex SEO and I’ve never seen anything like this – and I thought I’d seen everything regarding getting web traffic!
Now spiders and baby strollers are an odd mix.
Babies hate spiders and spiders love babies. So to avoid complications make your journeys long and meaningful.
Give the spiders lots of food and new routes to explore and always add a sprinkling of deep routed hikes for them to travel. Then the babies will be safe to grow.
Interesting take on the affiliate sales process.
Kevin
Kevin Bakers last blog post..Keywords:Are important But So Is Where You Put Them On Your Page.
There are thousands of ways to generate web traffic.
1. Yahoo answers
2. You tube
3. Forums
4. Blogs
5. Twitter
6. Facebook
7. SB
etc, etc, the list goes on.
But I love organic traffic the most, that is when I really feel proud of my efforts.
Putting lots of relevant content on at website is one of the best ways of generating traffic. A few keywords interspersed in the content and ensure it is valid content will help a lot. Having headings within the content such as headings for different paragraphs in bold is something the search engines take note of.
The good thing about spiders of course, is that they eat flies. In Australia, where I live, that can only be a good thing!
a good combination of onpage and offpage links will always result in good quality well directed traffic!
I prefer the jumping spider. It strokes before you know it. has a heap of eyes and looks kinda cute.
I should have said ‘it strikes before you know it”.
I’ve never really considered the types of spiders and how they could impact my web traffic. Very interesting.
I always thought of the spiders on the web as electronic robots, but now after reading this I will be afraid to attract them!
Did you you guys here about the King Kong vs Godzilla remake rumors?
spiders are fickle creatures, although I like the concept of using a stroller to generate traffic.
That is quite an interesting analogy you have going there. Not quite sure what the elephants represent or what double jogging strollers have to do with anything, but I guess it is a case in point sort of thing.
Well this just fly’s in the face of my web structure!
LOL This was a good post.. I love the spider black widow refrence…
I think if you put your website on a bumper sticker and put it on the back of a doubble stroller people would probably want to look!