I know I speak for a lot of beer lovers when I say that beer shouldn’t make you fat. It is downright unfair.
What we need is beer that actually uses up calories while you drink it. I would love to drink beer like I used to, but I just don’t want to pack around all that extra weight on my middle. It took months to get rid of that extra 40 lbs the first time and I’m not gonna just put it back on by drinking high calorie beer and eating hot wings! Anyone that could give us alternatives that taste great and don’t make us fat would be just rolling in the dough.
There are more than one negative calorie foods diets out there. We need to get scientists working harder on this and inventing some new versions of foods that suck up calories instead of putting on pounds. How about these new snack favourites that they are working on right now?
Workout Hot Wings- eat a 1 lb plate of these babies and the burning combined with the extra bathroom trips means you end up 3 pounds lighter! A special combination of extra hot, ultra aged peppers soaked in Castor Oil will have you begging for more – or maybe just begging for mercy. Serve with a side of Pepto Bismol.
Chunky Chocolate Browser Cookies- made with real internet cookies, all you do is eat these full flavoured delicious browser data chocolate chunks until you are stuffed to the gills. Then simply Clear Private Data and it will be just as if those internet cookies never existed. Who knew it could be so easy?
Styrofoam Peanut Crunch - now, another use for those stupid styrofoam packing peanuts. No longer will these environmental hazards be blowing around landfills. From now on they will be safely trapped in this new dessert fave. Utilizing the ever handy Styrofoam glue, and imported peanut flavouring created in industrial China using leftover toy parts, Styrofoam Peanut Crunch will have your tastebuds crying – hopefully for more! An excellent Christmas Gift for relatives that have already lived too long, I mean, that already have everything.
And last but not least, Reverse Osmosis Blue Beaver Beer. This full flavoured brew tastes just like the world famous Blue Beaver Beer you all know and love. Utilizing the quantum data gathered at the Condor Research Facility and Atom Smasher, scientists have entangled beer molecules with molecules of commonly held stocks and bonds. That means that as the stocks and bonds devalue and shrink, the beer molecules will lose their calories to the economic downturn. Drink up! Finally, physics and the stock market are on your side about something. Now who’s the biggest loser?
I guess these would make a good addition to our highly sought after redneck beer gift baskets. I will be looking into it for future shipments. So remember, when you’re feeling blue, grab a Beaver!
I think this is one of the best ideas I have ever heard of! I agree, they have diet this and diet that but no diet/no cal beers. The few low cal beers they have taste terrible though. They would have to work on the taste for sure!
Make Your Own Beer
Awesome. Seems like the better tasting stuff is never good for you though. Would definitely buy it if they ever came out with it though.
Negative calories plus hangover prevention would be even better.
A worthy idea indeed! Although I must say the “Workout Hot Wings” sounds like a recipe for disaster
Ya,
They can make diet soda with no calories, why can’t they make a diet beer. For the soda the just replace sugar with chemicals. Of course the chemicals will also kill you eventually. You’ll just be skinny with holes in your brain as opposed to fat with diabetes
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So can we get some artificially sweetened hops going on? Any scientist types want to tackle that.
.-= Damon@Debt Freedom´s last blog ..Debt Collection Statute of Limitations =-.
Negative Calorie Beer might be fine. But some people have no problem with calories.
I love my beer too. Only problem, I’ve been drinking it for 40 years now. The anti or negative calorie idea would make someone a billionaire. I can’t stand the taste of light beer. Plus please don’t take out the “buzz” of drinking beer. What would be the point. Then you might as well drink water.
Maybe L-carnitine can be added to beer to make it fat-burning. However, there may be adverse effects.
But a lot of people would agree with you that beer should have negative calorie and not just less.
haha. if you were to invent a negative calorie beer, you’d put jenny craig out of business.
They oughta invent a bear that actually reverses calories. Or better yet, how about beer that you sip all day long and you lose weight — eating anything you like, not changing nuthin’.
I mean, they’ve got this coffee now the MLM people are pushing coffee that makes you lose weight, why not a beer that does the same? I’m in!
Love the sound of the chocolate browser cookies! I have to agree with you about beer. I see my husband now and I too wish drinking beer didn’t make one gain weight. He’s never going to stop drinking it so I just wish I didn’t have to see the unfortunate results.
Nice post..I actually have very little idea of what each of these brilliant ideas actually do, but to add my two cents how about this for an idea: *Knowledge in a pill – You no longer need to sit for hours in a class room bored to tears. Have a great time
Would anyone actually buy negative calorie beer? It’s not really the manliest of drinks really, is it? I think the best thing to do is to just drink less and work out and then you won’t have to rely on negative calories beer. Also, if women can’t buy negative calorie chocolate, you guys can’t get negative calorie beer. Equality, and all that.
Sitting here drinking a cup off coffee, enjoying this website.
I’m sure females would buy this off the market. I wonder if there is any way to make celery an ingredient in beer? That would count for some serious negative calories.
Please let me know when this one happens. My beer gut would really appreciate it