Well, it’s been a few weeks since I was last seen at The Redneck; and probably many of you have been wondering if I went on another pointless holiday sabbatical. I haven’t. Rather I simply decided to spend some time in my un-happy place. It’s a dreary place where the clouds cover the sun all the time. It snows every night, then melts every day around here.
Now, you must be wondering why who anyone choose to spend time there. Well, I’ll tell you why right now. You have to spend time in your un-happy place once in a while otherwise you won’t be able to properly appreciate you happy place.
It’s like that brilliant philosopher, Butthead, once said, “If nothing sucked and everything was cool all the time; it’s like, how would you know it’s cool. You have to have stuff that’s sucks in order to have stuff that’s cool.”
So now when I eventually make it back to my happy place the sun will be that much brighter and warmer. The air will smell that much more sweet as will the flowers. For now though, I have to make the transition through my neutral place. A place where everything is just kind of static. But I’m really hoping I can get a case of that Weasel Flu that’s going around because that would make my life exciting and send me to my sick place (which I can usually only get to by having impure thoughts about Miley Cyrus). Unfortunately the weasels that I hang out with are only afflicted with Acute Laziness Syndrome which I already have
Here we go again. The ongoing saga of how in the heck do I get reliable internet service with an air card like the Rogers Rocket Stick. This little device worked great for me in the populated areas of the world. Out on the edges of cell service, not so much. I almost want to move closer to civilization, just to get reliable internet service.
I’ve been pulling out hair since I have all this stuff I wanted to do online, and no way to get on the internet with my laptop. Email piling up, plans going on the back burner, argghh!! And those endless phone calls to Xplornet Satellite internet services so that I can be put on hold for an hour, only for them to explain to me once again how my not having internet service is not their fault.
I do have to say that the Rogers customer service was excellent, friendly, knowledgable, and all around excellent. What a contrast to Xplornet. They even let me try the Rocket Stick with a 30 day no questions asked return policy. Try to find that from Telus or Bell. Not likely Bubba. With the other two companies, you sign the contract and you are in it for the long haul. The 30 day return policy came in pretty handy for me, since I did end up handing it back over to them. It just plain didn’t work at my house. My cell phone works there, but nothing from the air card. It was rather frustrating really.
When I took back the Rocket Stick, I wanted to get a Bell USB air card but no one in Red Deer had them in stock. That was how I ended up getting a Sierra Compass 597 Air Card from Telus instead. My wife did later get an aircard from Bell, which worked great in our rural home, at first. Now it has troubles connecting to her PC laptop. Something to do with the drivers working with the newer 64 bit laptops or some such technobabble. It still works great with my mac.
Recently, whilst enjoying a bite at Stratosphere Las Vegas, I became deeply lost in thought. When I eventually found my way out of the nigh-endless maze of my own mind I thought I might write down some of the things that I had uncovered in there.
Running the kitchen at The Redneck Bar and Grill, from time to time I hear unusual requests from our customers ( I‘m sure Corrina knows what I‘m talking about). One day a lady told the server that she had just been released from the hospital after receiving a bone marrow transplant. As a result she was extra susceptible to any food borne bacteria, so she asked that her Italian sausage and marinara penne be extra thoroughly cooked. Now, I want to point out that our kitchen is maintained at the highest level of cleanliness that it possibly can. However, if I was in a situation where I was as vulnerable as this lady I would want to make certain that I knew everything that was going into my food, and I would want it prepared by someone who loved me and truly cared about my health instead of taking a chance that my meal was made by some teenage boy who was far more interested in either texting his girlfriend or the plunging necklines of the servers’ blouses.
Also we quite often get people in who say they are allergic to gluten. Please don’t mistake me here, I am not making fun of anyone with Celiac Disease or other allergies (in fact a close acquaintaince of mine is allergic to peanuts; if he has any he breaks out in a rash, but just on one part of his body, one very specific, very personal part of his body, and I would never dream of making fun of him). However, if you tell me that you are so allergic to something that even so much as one molecule will kill you; then I’m sorry but, again, you may want to prepare your own meals. In a busy kitchen there are all kinds of things just floating around and you never know where they might land. You wouldn’t want to end up with allergy induced asthma.
Then again there are some customers who will order something like a mushroom-cheeseburger with fries and then ask you to not salt the fries because sodium is the devil. But I guess the processed cheese, ground beef and deep fried potatoes are perfectly healthy.
Personally, if my own health was as precarious as some of these people claim theirs is, I think I might spend every day just sitting at home eating celery, drinking super-purified distilled water and playing board games. But then again I’d have to be extremely careful that the sharp edge of the race car or the top hat didn’t puncture my bubble.
