Every now and again, I experience something that just makes me want to rant and rave. And, I reckon, there can hardly be a more appropriate forum than right here at the Redneck Bar and Grill.
Before I get into it, I feel I should give a bit of a disclaimer. Sometimes the things that I rant about might make me seem narrow minded and/or intolerant. Because of this I worry that some people out there might get the wrong idea about rednecks in general. As you know from the way that rednecks are portrayed in the media we are a wonderful group of people. We are always open to new ideas and completely tolerant of other peoples “lifestyle choices”. The thing is that all human beings have the capacity to be exacerbated by the actions of other beings. This does not automatically make anyone a bigot.
Having said that; I recently had to call directory assistance. First of all I got the computer. I asked for Fergus & Bix, but I somehow mispronounced it or didn’t enunciate clearly enough because the computer responded, “I think you said ‘Ferguson Law Offices’ is this correct?” Well, it wasn’t exactly what I wanted so I said, “I’m very sorry that I made an error. No, that is not correct.” As we all know, the computer is infallible so it was my own fault that it wasn’t able to give me the correct listing right away. Obviously my human incompetence was offensive the the great-all-knowing-computer because it transferred me to a fellow human.
This particular human, through no fault of her own, did not speak English as a first language (or at all). She said something I couldn’t comprehend so I simply responded by saying, “Fergus & Bix Restaurant “ ( I was just checking out the competition). I heard some typing then a click and then the computer was kind enough to speak to me again and command me to hold for the number. After I heard the number, I was asked if I would like to be connected at no extra cost; of course I went for it. The call went through but alas, on the other end the fax machine answered and since I am not intelligent enough to speak it’s language I was forced to apologise in English and then hang up. If only I was a less flawed creature I would have known that the number I was given was incorrect upon hearing it and I would not have had to bother the computers.
Now please don’t think I am in any way prejudiced against computers. I know that the only time they ever make a mistake is when it is directly attributable to human error. Hopefully after Judgement Day the machines will rise up and put us humans in our proper place.
And I welcome our new machine overlords.
RT Cunninghams last blog post..My Logitech Wireless S510 Keyboard is Dead and It’s All My Fault
We humans wait for the second coming. The machines wait for Skynet to become self-aware. The race is on….
Hilarious story…!
I work for a government department in Australia and people are often so exasperated by the time they finally arrive at a human to talk to. You can almost see the steam coming out of their ears.
I think you might be on the path to enlightenment. You’ve clearly identified the problem and have discovered that it was completely your fault.
When the Second Coming arrives and God emails all of us, I think you will have a better chance at redemption since you’ve been accepting responsibility all along.
I also like the idea of speaking in more complete sentences to the computer that requests information. I think the next time I am confronted with something like that I shall speak in Pig Latin just to see what happens.
cardiogirls last blog post..The Party Posse’s destination — Over Coffee… Let’s talk
Dont upset the computers -we’ll all end up as batteries for them and end up plug into a matrix :p
Yes, the machines will rule but Arnold will come save the day and then when he grows up it will be that Conner boy. He will save us!
Thank you for sharing your experience!
Keep posting!
its horrible to think of them
I’m subscribing… Love the part about Rednecks being so highly regarded in comedic circles — or something like that. Like the disclaimer too. Your commenters are pretty funny as well.
I LOVE my computer! Unless it disagrees with me and gives me, as my only hope, your friend who doesn’t speak a word of my language.
Barb Hartsooks last blog post..Do You Have a Minute, Jack?
When the Papa Hari World Government comes to power, clearly this issue will be resolved in the manner that is agreeable to both parties.
haris last blog post..Project Wonderful: my impressions
Ah, the worst! Nice post.
I feel your pain, I’ve had that happen and it is such a waste of time! I’ve been using Google 411 (1-800-466-4411) on my cell phone, and have been having fairly good luck with it, and it’s been saving me the insane verizon 411 fees.
Heidis last blog post..Smoking on a Gas or Charcoal Grill
always funny things those speaking recgon programs. Still they cant seem to make a proper program for it.
This is sound funny but interesting. Machines are created to lighten up the load of a human and making it as an error free man-made-creature. If there’s an error of a machine, it is because this is created by human – an error prone.
bored what to dos last blog post..Bill & Ted
They used to play a game on a UK radio station I listen to where they phone up the automated answering system that asks them to speak the name of the person they want to get transferred to. At least 50% of the time the computer would get the connection wrong or not understand what has been said. Which is fine if you are phoning for a prank but not so funny when you are genuinely trying to get a connection and cant get the computer to understand your request.
How can a computer understand regional accents when a human often has difficulty.
this is a hell of a bit experience for having problems with the computer technology today. These technology was invented to help us human for such things that we make cannot do consistently. Due to fast and advance growth of technology sometimes human got really confuse on it. How I cam tell this, But I do believe that some day that the computer will be develop to understand regional accents when a human often has difficulties.
I had a not dissimilar experience after my Mum passed away. Obviously the computer for British Telecom couldn’t deal with that option so I was passed onto a chap in India who claimed his name was John! Unfortunately “John’s” grasp of English was on a par with my grasp of Hindi (none). It took me about twenty minutes to explain the situation and by the end started to sound like the “dead parrot” sketch from Monty Python (its and ex-parrot, its deceased, past away…. etc).
To add insult to injury when we finally sold the house about six months later I found out “John” had signed me up for a 12 month contract!
That’s the beauty of technology…still waiting for that 20 year promise made to me back in grade school that it would make life easier. I mean geez, my still might be old, but at least I know how it works, lol.
That is pretty frustrating. I have trouble with these automated systems about half the time too. Hopefully the technology will improve soon.
Great posts!I am sure it will be solved soon!But at the moment we have to converse with “Indian Johns”! and waste our time and money on explaining them simple things!How sad it is, but sometimes is fun!
Next time use 1-800-466-4411 (Google’s 411 service). It’s still not the greatest but maybe better then the experience you had.
Don’t get me started on computers and speech recognition software … I have a slight speech impediment, pronouncing “s” a bit differently. Makes talking sense into a computer impossible.
It’s not really better with humans, most of them have an accent so thick I doubt they can even understand themselves …
I hate talking to the computers so much! It’s like: if it’s automated it might just as well be in a written form on a website – it’d take a lot less time to get over with and you wouldn’t have to struggle with terrible voice recognition software.
toms last blog post..Odkrywanka
Hilarious, reminds me of the time when i called one after a very bad day and i started to curse at it, yep, oh yeah, it was Dell..enough said. lol
Van
Most of the time I’ve found voice recognition software to be pretty good, however what really annoys me is “Press 1 for sales, Press 2 for orders, Press 3 for…” Especially when you do this several times and then it cuts you off at the end!
Definitely have to second Brad’s recommendation about Google. Their service is decent.
That is pretty frustrating. I have trouble with these automated systems about half the time too. Hopefully the technology will improve soon.
Thanks, for sharing your experience.
emos last blog post..Emo can be short for “emotional.”
I agree with others here very frustrating and waste of time, well that is the realiaty and fact that no one is perfect.
Yeah, currently there is a technology that can interpret the human voice and language. But unfortunately this technology is not perfect. It still needs more investigation and research.
Don’t worry, directory assistance will all be automated by the end of the year!
lol i loved your post, i mean i am sorry for it but i loved it and the comments are great too! thanks for the great post and just keep at it. i would love to read more!
Something is a little trusted, and it is a pity
nice picture they remind me my college days where i used to drink with my friends. good job dude and keep doing . really like your work
Thanks for the post. Isn’t it great when you find a jewel like that? it just seems to speak from the heart and gives you exactly the information you were looking to find.
You hit upon another one of mu pet peaves. Although I never considered the computers in my irritation and anger. I believe that any company that uses the automated system is not customer oriented at all. Large beauacracies and government agencies are usually the culprits. Put human in that spot. This will result in two main benefits. It gives someone a job and the customers will have a much better experience. The company will have a much more favorable customer service rating.
OK I let off my steam! I feel better now.