So, I guess by now the recent deaths of various celebrities is old news. But, I’ve been lazy afflicted with the weasel flu so I haven’t had a chance to comment on them until now.
The one that everybody is talking about is, of course, the “King of Pop” Michael Jackson. His demise has completely overshadowed the departures of Farrah Fawcett and Ed (You May Already Be A Winner) McMahon. Also, no one is talking about David Carradine anymore. I suppose he’s last weeks news (literally).
Although the causes of deaths of Ed and Farrah are fully known (and therefore not at all interesting) MJ’s death is shrouded in mystery and thus is a huge source of “news”. I do not care to speculate on the cause of him ceasing to be, however I would like to present a controversial theory as to the real reason behind all of the celebrities shuffling off this mortal coil at the same time.
As we all know, Hollywood celebrities are completely bereft of actual personalities. They only say and do what their agents tell them will get the common people talking. They are also very fond of copying one another. If Madonna buys adopts a child, Brangelina have to buy adopt one. If Mel Gibson gets a D.U.I., Keifer Sutherland and Lindsay Lohan have to get one too. If Brad Pitt sleeps with the nanny Jon Gosselin has to as well (Jon and Kate were barely even celebrities until they started having “marital troubles”). Therefore, following this “logic” David Carradine died and it got everyone talking so a few more celebrities decided they should expire and go to meet their maker. Unfortunately for McMahon and Fawcett Wacko-Jacko is stealing all of the thunder.
Now, I’ve already heard some speculation that perhaps Mikey faked his death; either to get out of some lawsuits pending against him or as some sort of over-the-top publicity stunt to promote an upcoming world tour. Either way, if he’s wants to re-invent himself all he has to do is dye himself black and no one will ever recognize him.