Better Than Facebook

Is there someone from your past that you have lost contact with.  Perhaps someone you went to school with or a former co-worker or maybe an ex boy/girlfriend.  Have you recently found yourself wondering what they’ve been up to recently or maybe how they look now.  Do you want to know personal information about them without them finding out that you’ve been inquiring?  Then you need to become a member of the brand new Stalk-Book.

With Stalk-Book you can find out where your ex is working now.  You can find out the home address of that cute waitress who wouldn’t even give you the time of day when you were working with her as a dishwasher.  Maybe you want to find out what route that hunky water delivery boy drives so that you can follow him discreetly to watch as he flexes his big sweaty muscles and bends down to pick up those heavy water jugs.  Join now to find all of these people that you could never bring yourself to approach in real life.

Basic membership is free.  All you have to do is provide your own personal information including; name, maiden name, former aliases, current address, last five addresses, last seven jobs, all schools attended, make, model and license number of personal vehicle as well as any company vehicles, and work, home and cell phone numbers. Your personal information is stored on your own page along with all the photos ever taken of you.  Our privacy policy ensures that your page can not be viewed by anyone that we do not approve as a member.

Anyone can become a member of Stalk-Book.  After your membership is approved you will have access to any other members’ profile pages.  You can search using any name you know the person by.  In some case you can also use descriptive phrases, provided there is adequate information.  For example: “that hot blonde chick who worked as a server at Shenaniganz from June 1999 to October 2000” will narrow down your options quite a bit.  However, “that hot guy I saw at the mall on Tuesday” is far too large of a parameter.

If you wish to purchase our Platinum Membership (for only 169.95/year) you will also have access to the regular times that other members usually take a shower as well as any and all videos featuring our members that have ever been uploaded.  At Stalk-Book we pride ourselves on being a better service for finding people without alerting them to your interest than Facebook and MySpace combined.

December 15, 2009 | | Tags: , , , | 68 Comments »

The Redneck Undead: Vampires, Zombies, Werewolves, Fast Food Attendants

Ernie and I both enjoy a good story about an undead critter, like a zombie or a government worker. I know we aren’t alone in our interests. Steve writes about his trade show zombies and the Zombie boot camp, while Petra at Lil Blog of Horrors delves right into all kinds of dark and scary “B” movies. For instance, check out her review of Trailer Park of Terror. Scary stuff, kids!I get the feling that Steve hopes to never see a real zombie or any other kind of horrifying undead. Petra might actually want to run into one though…

Ernie once wrote about The ultimate monster, a werewolf/vampire/zombie hybrid. I gotta tell yah, this idea of a WereZombPire really freaks me out. Can you imagine a hairy monstrosity bending over to bite your neck, and one of his rotten fingers falls right off his paw into your face? Or would he be after your brains, and then change his mind and go for the neck? Can you stop howling at the moon and just kill me and get it over with, already! If you put too many undead superpowers in one critter, it just seems unmanageable. When he changes back from werewolf, is he still a VampZombie or is he human? Does he shuffle along, bumping into walls aimlessly, or is he a “fast” zombie? Can it go outside in the sunlight? And, is it into necrobestiality?

As Ernie pointed out, who would be capable of creating a monster like this?  The zombie part would be potentially useful in controlling your undead beastie, but what would be this evil genius’ overall goal? World domination? You would need an army of these things… Or do they infect victims with WVZ cell virus and you become a rotting hairy bloodsucker in short order? It would be a good idea to read up on the possibility of a zombie apocalypse just in case this kind of thing ever happens.

Then of course we get to the Evil Dead, and it turns out that the Evil Dead are Pretty Good Singers. We are both long time fans of this particular undead franchise. I mean, who wouldn’t love a guy who cuts off his own hand and attaches a mean ‘ole chainsaw to the stump, to fight demon infested zombies? With lines like “Wait. Its a trick. Get an axe!” you just can’t go wrong. While I never got to see the musical, Ernie gave it a great review. The evil dead are worse than a regular zombie. If a demon gets into you, you go bad. There doesn’t have to be a bite or wound, they just fly around trying to get you in their insubstantial form, until they do.

One thing I’ve always wondered is, how do zombies move around when its minus 30 C outside? Do they freeze solid and thaw out in the spring, or are they full of some sort of necro antifreeze? I’m betting that today in Alberta, all the zombies are frozen stiff and I can put my necro sledge away for a a bit.

December 14, 2009 | | Tags: , , , , , | 30 Comments »

Shedding More Light On Twilight?

I have been around the internets and seen several Wordle pictures. These things fascinate me. I took my recent post about Twilight and Wordle- ified it. It just seems so weird and intuitive that I decided to put it out for everyone to see. It’s dark, edgy, and jumbled. How did it know to pick this layout on its own?

Twilight Wordle

Oh, and the name of the post is not a reference to wolf hair. Also, I probably won’t shed any light on the subject. More likely I’m muddying the waters and confusing predictions, just like Alice is blocked by Jacob and his friend.

December 13, 2009 | | Tags: , , , | 34 Comments »

Twilight and the Bestiality vs. Necrophilia Debate

What with all the internet hooplah over Twilight being about necrophilia or bestiality, I thought I’d throw my two cents in. Be warned, not only might there be Twilight spoilers, this might be a lunch spoiler for some.

Before I start, I should point out that I read all the books plus watched both movies. My daughter convinced me to read the first book, and I was hooked. I got the rest of them and read nonstop until I was done the series. It isn’t my usual type of reading, but I loved it.

Many of the people commenting online about this don’t seem to have any knowledge of the storyline at all, judging from their comments on message boards:

“well i think it’s half necro, and half beastiality
Necro-Beastiality?”

“ok. from a sci-fi book lover. vampires are not animals, and they are UNdead. so it would be neither bestiality nor necrophilia.”

Well the first comment is just missing the boat entirely. There are no werewolf vampire combos available for Bella to get the hots for. The second comment shows a complete lack of the storyline as well. Bella has to chose between a vampire or a werewolf, people! Didn’t you watch the trailer at least?

Is a love life with a vampire necrophilia? I don’t think so. My understanding of this deviant practice is that individuals are turned on by the ultimate control of a motionless, unresisting, nonthreatening partner. This does not describe a mobile creature that can barely resist ripping into you to suck out your life force. So technically it might be necrophilia in a way because vampires have no life. But in practice it is obviously a different situation.

Same thing goes for bestiality and werewolves. Bella is attracted to Jacob, and was before she knew he was able to change shape. There is no indication whatsoever that she is all hot and bothered about dogs, wolves, or any other furry critter. Bestiality is usually with farm animals, because again, just like dead bodies, they’re easy. Most of these sexual deviants have issues with rejection and fear. A real guy or gal will be too threatening. Let’s tie up Bessie and get a stool! Werewolves could potentially reject you in a very bloody fashion, but Bessie already puts up with milking, so how much dignity does she really have?

Anyone else have thoughts on this?

December 9, 2009 | | Tags: , , , | 53 Comments »