I’m Wearing A Vest

Have you ever noticed in action movies/t.v. shows; the hero will confront the villain and get shot: three or four slugs right in the chest.  Then, after the villain runs off the hero will get up (much to the surprise of the damsel in distress/informant that he is protecting).  He’ll open up his shirt and explain, “I’m wearing a vest.”  Then he will immediately remove said vest.

Apparently the hero figures, “Hey, I’ve already been shot there’s no way I’ll need this vest any longer; even though my nemesis is still on the loose.”

The villain should just wait around the corner and then, after the hero arrogantly removes his protection, pop out and pump a few more rounds into him and say, “There, that’ll teach you, you big dum-dum.”  Or alternately, the villain could just do a little more target practice before leaving his secret lair and learn how to do a head shot.  Then he could say, “I guess you should’ve have worn that vest on your head.  It would have saved your life and no one would have to look at your ugly face, you infidel pig-dog.”  Or words to that effect.  After all, why should the hero be the only one who gets to make a semi-clever smart ass comment after killing someone (i.e.  “Where’s Buzz-saw?”  “He had to split.” [Incidentally I’ll e-mail a six-pack of Blue Beaver Beer to anyone who can identify that quote.])

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