Ernie recently posted Stick It Up Your App as part of his ongoing battle against pointless sillyness. Now I realize Ernie is all for pointful sillyness, such as green beer on St. Patrick’s Day. And, I’d have to agree that many of the apps I personally loaded onto my iPhone were not only pointless and silly but also didn’t work very good.
For instance, Grenade Lite. If it’s the free version they attach the word Lite to it, and charge varying amounts of money to upgrade to the full flavoured version. Unfortunately for them, I’m cheap as a monkey so I never upgrade. Anyways, you slide your finger across the screen to pull the pin out of the grenade and a few seconds later, it “explodes”. Wow. Problem with this app? When you pull the pin on a real grenade, the handle flies off. Anyone that has watched Avatar could easily verify that even futuristic CG grenades work this way. The programmers of this app didn’t even figure out how a grenade works before they made their crappy app, or CRAPP. And, it really has no point. Its not like I’m going to throw my phone to fake a grenade, so I gotta hold it and let it “explode”. That’s not how we did it in the army.
Yeah, I’ve downloaded farting apps, apps that shoot virtual on screen guns, an app that loads a new insult every time you shake the phone, and one where a cow moos at you every time you talk. These were all Crapps. I had one app that just shouts “Woooooo!” every time you push the button. It makes you glad we are improving the universe with such important and functional technological advances.
But then there are all the super useful apps. Like eReader, which lets me read books anywhere and for a lot less money each than a paper book. Or Pocket Wikipedia, which allows me to win arguments on the go with those who don’t have all the facts at their fingertips. And how about Flixter, which allows me to easily find out movies playing and showtimes at local theaters. And lets not forget that I can even get phonecalls! That’s right, not only can I do all that other stuff but I can receive calls, make calls access voicemails, and even phone 911 from my iPhone. Not to mention texting. And of course, I am never one of those distracted texting drivers. I make handsfree calls with bluetooth while on the road.
What self respecting Hi Tech Redneck wouldn’t want to pack around a dozen ebooks and at least two gun apps?
Green beer on St. Patrick\’s Day seems to be a cool thought. Whats wrong abt that
he he.
I thought WTH but couldnt say. 
Iphone has both super cool apps and ultra crap apps as well. Mainly its because of its users. I remember one of my friend saying when he is bored will develop an app for iphone
I am always amazed by the amount of noise in the app store. It seems like not only is there almost always an app for it, but there are also usually about 1000 knock-offs too.
Usually, I am pretty good about avoiding the crap apps though, but it is not easy, because things like the fart app can be appealing. Its a struggle…
Steve@Lift Chairs´s last blog ..Understanding the Lift Chair and its Features
crapps. love it. i think there are some good ones, but there is a lot of lame apps out there. fun post
I do believe the same as, craps are good and there are lot of for fun and I probably love to have different apps that are very applicable and beneficial too.
I like the app that automatically jams every cellphone around me except my own signal, ensuring that I get my call through every time. Antisocial but effective.
Marvin´s last blog ..Death Cab for Cutie, "I Will Follow You Into The Dark"
Btw, most of the apps might be extremely crappy, but there are some useful ones also
I am really intrigued by the farting apps you mention… problem is I am one of those people who want a cell phone that is just a phone, so I don’t even have a qwerty keyboard. But my phone does have a camera – maybe I’ll be happy if I take a picture of the farting app……..
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I think everyone is guilty of loading their iphones/ipod touches with crapps, especially when they first buy them. Once the novelty of the crap apps wears thin then you start to only use the useful ones and dare I say it… start to pay for full version apps.
Great post although it has reminded me I need to spring clean my iphone.
Peter@unmerciless politician´s last blog ..Unmerciless Politician
How about pulling the pin on your CRAPP then placing your iPhone under an old steel helmet and see how it blows it into to the air? Oh, I forgot, it can’t because it’s CRAPP!
I’m glad I don’t own an iPhone. I would be spending all my time downloading crappy apps and not working!
I miss the days when cell phones were phones. Before they were cameras, video game systems, books, and all of the other garbage that has nothing to do with making phone calls.
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Ha Ha.. a farting app! Now I can simply pull out my iPhone every time I want to let a real one go
Now, how about an app to mask the pong
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it’s tough, there are so many out there and they all look great until you start playing with them. don’t feel bad.
Now a days the cell phones are more used for its applications but none consider it as a call maker.
They are coming out with everything now days! Wonder how the fart appt is going to be.
I miss my iphone but I really don’t want to spend a lot of money on another one.
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It is very funny to read about these crappy applications. I sometimes wonder why do the programmers waste their time and skills on such useless applications. They should try to work on bigger projects which can help the fellow programmers and users of the platform. Anyways, it woould be still fun to try these applications once at least.
Hilarious post! I have to admit I have gone a little overboard with my Crapps, but then when you are a girl in the middle of Arkansas there is not much else to do with yourself.
I hate crappy apps, they ruined my iphone 3, now i have the 3gs.. i used to love simplefy media and paid good money for it, but now it’s gone
Hi!. Thanks for the blog. I’ve been digging around looking some info up for a project, but i think i’m getting lost!. Google lead me here – good for you i guess! Keep up the good work. I will be popping back over in a few days to see if there is updated posts.
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I have to agree with you on the “Crapps” but you have to admit these adds some fun into the iPhone. It gets boring fast but you can get some more. The apps people make for iPhone, even if it’s not a serious app, shows imagination. Just sad how Apple tries to limit this by only allowing apps to run on just a single programming language they want. It’s killing the means for very creative people to express their talent.
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I agree with Dan! Things were so much simpler when all phones did was simply call people! It’s all too complicated now.
I just can’t understand people wasting loads of money buying stuff they don’t really need, not using all of the “advanced functions” phones can have right now etc.. It has to be able to call, receive a call, receive a message and send a message.
Oh yeah, alarm clock is useful too of course..
What a catchy title I’m really intrigued when I read the title lol. Yeah sometimes those crappy apps or what you call crapps really f*** up the some sites and sometimes it may somewhat distort the design if it fails but I say some are really useful you just have to know whats the right apps for you or it will end up being a crapp
Oh, Crapps released through Crapple. But if people would quit buying them, developers would quit making them.
My iPod Touch has about 7 pages of Apps. 5 of them utter crap! I just download them when they’re free. Other day i downloaded a police siren :S
Crapps are ok as long as they are free. Coz if we pay for them then we become the stupid crapps.
Sometimes it just doesn’t seem worth loading up a phone or anything with apps I’m just not going to use, even if they are free. Becomes too much hassle to look through them. Like LA traffic, the crapps just get in your way of getting to the ones you like faster.
Sooner or later, I’m going to give in. I’m going to get an iPhone. But I will always absolutely refuse to go for the ‘crapps’. I don’t see any point in filling up my phone with stupid apps that are absolutely pointless and won’t make me laugh more than once. I’m glad you’re cheap as a monkey cos if there’s one thing worse than getting these in the first place, it’s paying for them.
FINALLY someone commented about all the millions of CRAP APPS in the Apple store! The media always mentions how many apps there are, but 99% of them are pure JUNK.
I like your way of presenting the blog, it makes each and every point clear to me. I appreciate your effort which you have given in writing this blog. This crappy application may damage our cell phones so beware of it.
Thanks for this informative post.
Many application of Iphone where spread. However, only few where recognize as useful one. Thanks for sharing this blog, i love it.
I’m now considering of getting Pocket Wikipedia on my iPhone too. Didn’t realize I could use it for that purpose–win arguments, lol. Or be simply know-it-all.
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I totally agree with you. Those crapp-apps, or crapps as you call them, are a bit special.
Even though they suck — they sure come in handy sometimes when you’re bored the f*ck out as I am most of my time waiting for the bus here in Sweden.
/Nabil.
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