I know you thought that no one saw you, but I did. You were very careful. What you did should have gone completely unseen. Your backyard is fenced in and the neighbours on both sides of you were away at the time. You should have had privacy. Unfortunately, for both of us, I was at the top of a power pole, in the back alley, just a half block away. I saw everything; and not a day goes by that it doesn’t haunt me.

When I think back on it, I wonder why I didn’t do something. Maybe I could not have intervened directly, but I could have called someone. I suppose, at that point though, an ambulance could not have done anything. The fire department; well, it really wasn’t their…department (so to speak). The police, perhaps, might have made an arrest. Still, though, it was too late to prevent what had already happened. At any rate, I guess I was too much in shock to do anything but stare in horror and disbelief.

Now, no matter what I do I cannot get that image out of my head. I have taken to drinking in an effort to at least numb myself. But, of course, that only works in the short term. Maybe by writing about it I will somehow find some sense of closure. Maybe, someday, I will forget that I saw an obesely fat man mowing his lawn wearing nothing but a Speedo.

7 Responses to “I Am Cognizant of Your Actions During the Previous July/August Season”

  1. Marvin says:

    Come to Florida. You’ll see horrific sights so bad that they’ll shove your particular memory into the “happy” column.
    Marvin´s last blog ..Pictures from the jungle mini-vacation- part 5 My ComLuv Profile

  2. Dang it Ernie!
    Sounds like you can see all the way to California from your Canadian power pole. Guess I’ll have to stop wearing my neon-lime-green speedo. :) Steve
    Steve | Trade Show Guru´s last blog ..What Are Memorable Trade Show Displays My ComLuv Profile

  3. cardiogirl from Jacked Gingah says:

    Oh boy. I’m so sorry for your loss of innocence.

    By the way, what were you doing atop a telephone pole?
    cardiogirl @ Jacked Gingah´s last blog ..It was like The Crying Game only on wheels My ComLuv Profile

  4. Oh, man. I feel for you. I think I would’ve called someone with a sledgehammer to pound the image out of my brain forever. Although there are some things you just can’t un-see.

  5. Ernie says:

    I appreciate everyone feeling my pain. As to why I was on the power pole…well, maybe I shouldn’t say on the grounds that it might incriminate me. I definitely was not trying to spy on women sunbathing in their backyards. That would be wrong.

  6. Oh, the horror. =) At least he was trying to do it in the privacy of his own home.

  7. Cali from Swarovski crystals says:

    In any situation you should always try and look for a positive, in this case you can think yourself lucky that he wasn’t wearing a thong.
    Cali@Swarovski crystals´s last blog ..Crystal AB 8mm Swarovski Briolette pack – £260 My ComLuv Profile

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