The other day, I went to visit my sister. She told me she just got home from a horse show. I knew from previous conversations that “show” in this context was a competition that she participated in. I asked if it was “horse-dancing” since I know she’s into that whole dressage thing. Apparently, though, this time it was jumping. She then proceeded to explain to me how some of her shows were dressage, some were jumping and some combined the two into a whole week-end of horse related frivolity. I did my best to make the expression on my face look like I was interested. She told me I should come and watch her sometime. Now, I want to be supportive of my sister and the strange things she does for fun, however that would be going a bit far. So, I told her the only problem with that would be having to sit through a hundred others just to see her perform.
Then I got to thinking about how you could make one of these shows more interesting to a much broader audience. Then I realized; just add zombies. When I explained this, she was skeptical. But I pointed out the recent trend in books: “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies”, “Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters”, “Android Karenena”. You just take something classic, add some monsters and voila, instant hit.
The horse can jump over an advancing “fence” of zombies. Then he kicks the heads off a couple of them. When a zombie tries to sink it’s teeth into the horse’s flank, he dances away to the side. You could have a whole course with zombies milling about. The horse either jumps over them or knocks them down and dances on their heads. Now thats a horse show I could really get into.
Redneck Bar & Grill
Beer, Friends, Food
So; how about that Lady Gaga? Isn’t she…something? To be honest I’m really not sure what to make of her. Her videos are just so elaborate and bizarre; whenever one comes on t.v. I can’t change the channel, I have to watch. The really strange thing, though, is that I can’t figure out if I like her music or not. I never hear her on the radio stations that I listen to; only when I see the videos which never fail to capture my complete attention. “Telephone” featuring Beyonce and “Bad Romance” are especially description defying.
Her newest one, “Alejandro” is a little bit more…less out there; but only by comparison. It still features some crazy costumes, like for instance a machine gun bra (come to think of it “Bad Romance” has her wearing some sort of a sparkler bra that sets fire to a bed and the guy laying on it; maybe the lesson here is: keep your hands off of Gaga’s ta-tas). For some reason, “Alejandro” reminds me of Madonna’s “Like A Prayer”. I think it’s partly the sacrilegious imagery and partly the overall sound of the song (which I am just beginning to notice after about a dozen viewings).
Regular viewers of Much Music’s Video On Trial will know that Lady Gaga is a “repeat offender”. I believe that every one of her videos been “brought to justice” at one time or another. The jurors comments are usually very crass, but still funny and even kind of accurate. One thing they’ve pointed out, that I’ve also noticed, is Gaga’s changing appearance. Sometimes she looks like a very attractive young lady and other times she looks more like John Leguizamo in drag. In “Bad Romance” she has at least three different faces. There have also been rumours about her being a trans-sexual; I don’t believe it though. She dances around in just her bra and panties in every one of her videos. I’ve examined these scenes very closely (just so that I could write an educated piece) and I certainly have never seen any sort of…evidence which would support that theory and lead me to become confused and question my own sexuality (like what happened when I watched “The Crying Game”).
So, Lady Gaga, your videos are like a proverbial train wreck; I just can’t look away.
Say, something just occurred to me. What if Lady Gaga and Marilyn Manson did a video together? What would that look like?