This past week-end, I had occasion to attend the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo. Let me tell you, I was mighty entertained. As a confirmed Fan-boy, I was super excited to see all the vast quantities of comics for sale. Even better was to attend a panel with comic legends Chris Claremont and Len Wein answering questions from the audience about the X-Men.

Just leaving aside the comic half of the expo, the entertainment half was even better. Featuring such celebrities as Aaron Douglas, Tahmoh Penikett, Sid Haig, Malcolm McDowell, and Erin Gray; as well as Brent Spiner and the great one himself (no, not Gretzky) Leonard frakkin’ Nimoy!

I attended multiple panels with all of these guests and more. I heard some very interesting stories and I found out that Malcolm McDowell is a very funny man. One audience member asked him what he thought of the fact that the Halloween remake was widely disliked. He responded, “I don’t give a crap! I cashed my cheque; buh-bye!” Brent Spiner, though, was even funnier. He did impressions of Captain Picard and Worf and he mentioned how he preferred to do episodes of The Next Generation where he only had one or two lines of dialogue, because he got paid the same as when he did an episode that was entirely focused on Data. Then of course there was Nimoy. Just attending his panel was nearly worth the price of admission. He talked about his trip to Vulcan, Alberta, where he was honoured with a parade and a key to the city (which he said he is planning to try out). He mentioned his work on the t.v. series Fringe; he will be in two more episodes before the end of season two (one of which is supposed to reveal William Bell’s true motivations). And he mentioned that he has made a decision to retire from movies and t.v. Instead he will focus on his photography.

Another highlight was Ed & Red’s Mini-Show; starring Ed the Sock and the very lovely, talented and funny Lianna K. (whose picture graces the top left corner). Their guest stars were Aaron Douglas, Erin Gray, Tahmoh Penikett, Sid Haig, and Lloyd Kaufman with The Toxic Avenger. There were some very funny stories told and I learned a few things I never even would have guessed (i.e. Sid Haig is a liscensed hypno-therapist and Erin Gray has been doing Tai-Chi for the past thirty years.

I should also mention a t-shirt booth that was set up. Some of my favourites were “Horton Hears Cthulhu“, “And then Buffy staked Edward. The end.” and one that had a picture of the panther Guenhwyvar gnawing on Drizzt Do’Urden’s head and underneath the caption “I can has elf?”(that one may be sort of an inside joke).

I could just go on and on about this event, I’m sure that our Beer Buddy (and fellow fan-boy), Manodogs, would be fascinated by it and maybe Steve would enjoy a detailed analyisis of how it was all set up and run (seeing as it is a type of trade show). However, I would hardly know where to stop if I really got going. But I will say, if anyone finds themselves out in this general direction next year, you should come by and check it out. The CCEE is Western Canada’s largest expo of it’s kind, second only to Toronto. In the coming days I’ll share some of my pictures with all of you.

Well, there has been a great deal of interest in the whole spam topic.  Many people out there are similarly plagued.  A lot of you had ideas on how to deal with the infestation.  I, however, came up with a plan of my own.

I just packed up everything and moved to parts unknown.  Didn’t leave a forwarding address or anything.  Now these accursed spammers will still be looking for me at my old place.  They’ll never be able to find me where I am; therefore they won’t be able to spam me.  I am certain that this plan is fool-proof.  How could anyone spam my blog if they don’t know where I live?

Just recently, though, I found out that spam-bots aren’t all bad.  I was reading an article in my favourite magazine, Mental Floss, on the subject.  Programmers make CAPTCHAs in order to weed out the bots.  At the same time, however, hackers are programming their bots to be smarter and be able to defeat the CPTCHA’s.  As this process continues to go back and forth the spam bots could eventually achieve true artificial intelligence.

I guess this means that eventually the spam-bots will be able to deluge every single blog out there with a ton of spam all by themselves.  This will give the humans more time to download porn; and that can’t possibly be a bad thing.

You know, I got to thinking recently that’s it been ages since the last time I reviewed a Broadway Musical. I shall have to rectify that.

Okay, so I guess Evil Dead: The Musical hasn’t quite made it to the actual, real Broadway; but it’s probably just as well. Those “real theatre” going people wouldn’t even begin to understand a play with a Splatter Zone (where you are guaranteed to get soaked in blood).

The show was absolutely hilarious. The acting was superb and all the songs were excellent. The story itself was kind of a mash up of the first two Evil Dead movies and it included several of Ash’s best one-liners from Army of Darkness (I don’t think it would have been any good at all without, “This…is my boomstick!”) There were also a few subtle inside jokes; at one point Cheryl sit down to read and she holds up Bruce Campbell’s autobiography, later on just after Annie gets off the plane she mentions that the in-flight movie was Spiderman 3 and it “was really poorly directed”.

All of the actors were very talented but Tyler Rive (Ash) was really exceptional. He seemed to be channeling Bruce Campbell. As well, Rebecca Northan did a very good job of playing two very different characters (Shelly and Annie) and when she tore off her skirt, her…talent really showed.

The songs were quite funny and upbeat. My two favorites were “Look Who’s Evil Now” performed by Cheryl and Shelly after they became possessed by Candarian Demons, and “All the Men in My Life (Get Killed By Candarian Demons)” performed by Annie, Ash and Jake as she laments her fate.

If this show come to a city anywhere near you, I urge you to run (don’t walk) right out and go see it. You won’t want to fail to not miss this, I assure you. Now I just have to see “Spamalot” and “Too Much Coffee Man – The Opera”.

Well, it’s been a few weeks since I was last seen at The Redneck; and probably many of you have been wondering if I went on another pointless holiday sabbatical.  I haven’t.  Rather I simply decided to spend some time in my un-happy place.  It’s a dreary place where the clouds cover the sun all the time.  It snows every night, then melts every day around here.

Now, you must be wondering why who anyone choose to spend time there.  Well, I’ll tell you why right now.  You have to spend time in your un-happy place once in a while otherwise you won’t be able to properly appreciate you happy place.

It’s like that brilliant philosopher, Butthead, once said, “If nothing sucked and everything was cool all the time; it’s like, how would you know it’s cool.  You have to have stuff that’s sucks in order to have stuff that’s cool.”

So now when I eventually make it back to my happy place the sun will be that much brighter and warmer.  The air will smell that much more sweet as will the flowers.  For now though, I have to make the transition through my neutral place.  A place where everything is just kind of static.  But I’m really hoping I can get a case of that Weasel Flu that’s going around because that would make my life exciting and send me to my sick place (which I can usually only get to by having impure thoughts about Miley Cyrus).  Unfortunately the weasels that I hang out with are only afflicted with Acute Laziness Syndrome which I already have

Recently, whilst enjoying a bite at Stratosphere Las Vegas, I became deeply lost in thought.  When I eventually found my way out of the nigh-endless maze of my own mind I thought I might write down some of the things that I had uncovered in there.

Running the kitchen at The Redneck Bar and Grill, from time to time I hear unusual requests from our customers ( I‘m sure Corrina knows what I‘m talking about).  One day a lady told the server that she had just been released from the hospital after receiving a bone marrow transplant.  As a result she was extra susceptible to any food borne bacteria, so she asked that her Italian sausage and marinara penne be extra thoroughly cooked.  Now, I want to point out that our kitchen is maintained at the highest level of cleanliness that it possibly can.  However, if I was in a situation where I was as vulnerable as this lady I would want to make certain that I knew everything that was going into my food, and I would want it prepared by someone who loved me and truly cared about my health instead of taking a chance that my meal was made by some teenage boy who was far more interested in either texting his girlfriend or the plunging necklines of the servers’ blouses.

Also we quite often get people in who say they are allergic to gluten.  Please don’t mistake me here, I am not making fun of anyone with Celiac Disease or other allergies (in fact a close acquaintaince of mine is allergic to peanuts; if he has any he breaks out in a rash, but just on one part of his body, one very specific, very personal part of his body, and I would never dream of making fun of him).  However, if you tell me that you are so allergic to something that even so much as one molecule will kill you; then I’m sorry but, again, you may want to prepare your own meals.  In a busy kitchen there are all kinds of things just floating around and you never know where they might land. You wouldn’t want to end up with allergy induced asthma.

Then again there are some customers who will order something like a mushroom-cheeseburger with fries and then ask you to not salt the fries because sodium is the devil.  But I guess the processed cheese, ground beef and deep fried potatoes are perfectly healthy.

Personally, if my own health was as precarious as some of these people claim theirs is, I think I might spend every day just sitting at home eating celery, drinking super-purified distilled water and playing board games.  But then again I’d have to be extremely careful that the sharp edge of the race car or the top hat didn’t puncture my bubble.

In a perfect world, everyone could have trouble free high speed internet for $2 a month, and we would all get to pet unicorns whilst fair maidens adorned us with flower wreaths in a beautiful garden that never experiences below freezing weather. Oh yeah, and world peace. And really low calorie beer.

I finally went out and bought a Sierra Compass 597 Aircard from Telus. Hopefully I will at least get to see the elusive high speed unicorn. An aircard may not let me actually pet the darn beast though.

We have been suffering along with all of our crappy internet problems ever since I first bought a computer in ‘99. First dialup, and what a betch that was. We struggled along with dialup internet here in our Central Alberta home right up until 2006. That was when I decided to start looking into high speed options.

I already knew that DSL through the phone lines was not an option. Our lines were installed when I was 8, because I remember them going in. There was no fibre optics type cable in our out the way neck of the woods. A quick phonecall to Telus confirmed that telephone line high speed internet wopuld never happen for us, since we live in a real backwater locale down several dirt roads. The phone company will never be upgrading these lines!

Next I looked into wireless internet, where you buy a modem and receive a signal broadcast from the nearest town. Nope, too far away and too many land features such as hills between us and every town. Of course I had to live in the dreaded “internet dead zone”. Just five miles away they have so much internet they can download entire movies, and here we can’t even download a large email without problems.

That was when I stumbled across Xplornet Satellite internet service. Internet anywhere. It seemed like it was the answer to my problem. Within a month I purchased the system and had it hooked up. It functioned… fairly well…

This internet dish is not the same as what you would have for TV. We have that kind of dish as well for all of our satellite tv services and it works great unless it is precipitating really hard outside. For internet you need a larger dish with the capability to upload information back to the satellite and the regular tv dish doesn’t do that.

Our satellite internet is not what anyone but the satellite internet company would call high speed. It is faster than dialup, I’ll give them that. About 3 times faster. When it is working. Cloudy weather, technical difficulties and such can happen. But basically it has hardy worked at all this month. Or it works for five minutes and then boom! nothing. Satellite internet really sucks. And every time you phone the service line, they instruct you to monitor internet speed for a couple weeks before they will try to help much.

I decided to bite the bullet and got this Rogers Rocketstick Wireless USB Air Card. It worked great in town. The service in the store was awesome. It was a pretty red colour and the software was user friendly. Guess what? It didn’t work at my house. Not enough cell phone reception. So I had to take it back. Again, the service from Rogers was great and it didn’t cost me a dime to try it out and return it.

Now I have this Sierra Wireless Compass 597 Aircard from Telus. They made me sign up for a year contract, and I can’t return this one but the USB card itself was free with that contract. It isn’t a pretty red, just plain ‘ole black. However, it does get enough reception to function at my house – barely. I will probably end up getting a booster antenna yet. The plus side is, I can now use my laptop anywhere I can get cell phone reception. Look out world! Now if I could figure out some way to hook it up to our cheap wireless router

I have been noticing a curious trend amongst my Facebook “friends”.  I am certain that other people out there have experienced something similar.  Several of the people on my “Friend” list are in fact pre-teen children.  They, like everyone on the site, try to have a clever status; i.e. “Ernie is writing a new blog post” or “Tim is at home chillaxin’”.  Sometimes, though, one of the children will have a status that just doesn’t make any sense to me.  “Betty Sue is eating the best mac & cheese EVER.  Callie just had the best sleep EVER.  Now, naturally I would assume that these statements are deliberate exaggerations; however, I find myself wondering what if they mean it literally?  What  if they just ate the best mac & cheese of all time?

If you are 12 years old and you have just eaten “the best meal EVER”, what are you going to do for the rest of your life?  After that every time you eat it just won’t ever be as good as that one time.  Maybe, if you’re really lucky, you might eventually forget that you have already eaten the best piece of chocolate cake EVER after a couple of decades.  If you’re not so lucky…  I think maybe the only way to combat this would be to raise your expectations to a really high level.  That way you could say you ate a pretty good piece of pizza last night, but not the best one EVER.  Just bear in mind that if you eat/do/say/have a relationship with the best thing EVER early in your life, then it’s all downhill from here.

Update from Tim: Great news! I just located the Best Way To Quit Smoking Ever!!  Now we can help all those twelve year olds that were seduced by the Popeye Candy Cigs and moved from that gateway candy to “hard” candy, the real smokes.

If you find hydrogen explosions, modifications to cars to make them more efficient, and backyard mechanicing to be interesting, read on. Otherwise, you may as well skip this one. But! Who really thinks backyard mechanics exploding things with hydrogen whilst making vehicular modifications boring?

Our little group of backyard masterminds has been working for months on our Hydrogen hho car kits that increase fuel mileage and reduce car emissions. We have tested design after design, and a lot of them worked pretty good but needed a lot of babysitting and tinkering to keep them functioning smoothly. Aron and I worked late into the night in all kids of weather conditions. We went on multiple road trips to test our hho devices. We had some spectacular failures, and found out the hard way to make sure all of our hho generator electrical connections were perfect.

We showed everyone our video of Hydrogen HHO Fun and how explosive the hho gas can be. In fact, we have spent hours and hours ‘researching’ the explosive properties of a hydrogen oxygen mixture. At times we needed ear plugs, and maybe even protective clothing. Our wives just smile (or sometimes frown) and shake their heads as they grab the children and keep them away from the fun. The neighbours probably think I own a shotgun, but I don’t.

Lately we have had the additional hurdle of trying to keep our hho generators from freezing in the incredibly sucky conditions we face in Alberta for, like, three quarters of the year. I am seriously considering moving, so I don’t have to wear 2 pairs of long johns, 2 sweaters and a parka. And that’s just to go to town! I heard it’s nice in places where you don’t freeze down if you stand still too long. In any case, we think we have the freezing problem beat but we need to do a little more testing before we let everyone in on it.

After all of that, we still don’t have an hho kit for sale. I wrote a post at another site discussing where to find hho kits. So everyone that has asked me about buying an hho kit, please look over there for the longer version of this post.

You can also look at this Hydrogen Generator Supply Store. They have a lot of different hho kits, parts for hydrogen generators, plans, valves, sensor kits, and more.

Well, my favourite time of year is nearly here.

No, I don’t mean tax time, but good guess since I really love handing money to our deserving and creatively managed government. How about the way they never waste it or spend it on things like ridiculous modern art? I love our government, as I am sure you love yours.

Nope, not the Chinese New Year, although I will be keeping an eye on the calendar at that time since the 28th is my birthday. Guess again, in case the title of this post didn’t give it away.

That’s right, those awesome Superbowl commercials! I’m sure all of you remember the Blue beaver Beer commercials of years past and you are just as excited as I am. With the huge Blue Beaver fanbase world wide and their amazingly massive market share, I am sure they won’t want to disappoint us and have come up with some brilliant television ad art yet again.

Who can forget that one commercial Blue Beaver came up with where the beaver had a funny hair day and was ridiculed at the hillbilly trailer park? Those skanky women with the tubetops really wouldn’t leave the ‘ole beaver alone. And how about that one where the beavers went shopping at Whalemart and couldn’t find the tail wax? Priceless! Who would have thought that those cruel teenagers would end up in that dumpster!

There are so many good Blue Beaver Beer commercials that I bet every one of you has your own favourite. Feel free to let us know which one you liked in the comment section. And yeah, what is that whole Superbowl thing about anyways? I just watch it for the commercials, so I never did figure out all that game stuff was all about but I guess it must be almost as popular as the ‘ole Blue Beaver itself. If you can explain all the excitement to me, drop me a line or something. There’s a virtual beer in it for you.