A Funny Thing Happened To Me In Downtown Red Deer Yesterday

“I think it was an Asian gang or something… There was this guy, he looked Asian… and he was speaking another language, I’m pretty sure it was… Asian.“*

So I was out for a bike ride yesterday, and I stopped at a corner near the water fountains to wait for the light to change.  There  were three ne’er do wells gentlemen guys facing the other direction.

One of them turned and approached me.  In a low voice he asked, “Hey.  Do you know where I can get some weed?”

Strangely, I actually contemplated for a moment whether or not I knew such a thing before replying, “No, I don’t.”  He apologized and then turned away.  Then one another one of the group came up so me and asked something I didn’t quite catch.  I begged his pardon and he repeated himself but I still couldn’t quite understand him.  Very warily I just shook my head and quietly said no.

Then I finally understood him when he said, “You don’t know where downtown is?”

This puzzled me a little bit but I answered, “This is downtown.”  He turned back to his friends presumably to tell them that they had reached their destination and that they could expect the weed to start flowing like water.   It’s too bad that the old Windsor and Park Hotels are gone now.  Those were really good places to get weed…or so I heard.

*The Cable Guy, watch it, it’s hilarious.

April 5, 2008 | | Tags: , , , | 7 Comments »

Sleep Posting

So last night (or more accurately this morning) at around 3:30 – 4 a.m. my room-mate came home from her job and turned on her t.v. (she lives upstairs and I have the basement).  Normally she is considerate of the fact that I am asleep when she gets in and keeps the volume low.  Every now and again though she forgets and thus my rest is disturbed (and my regular viewers already know I don’t need to be any more disturbed).

Now I’ve always been the kind of person who has a lot of trouble falling asleep when there’s noise in the house; and last night was no exception.  After being awakened I tossed and turned a lot; I would partially doze off then coming back again.  At one point I thought I should just get up, even though I had intended to get up at 6:15.  And then I thought, if I did get up I could go write something here at The Redneck, and I seem to recall thinking of a good topic.  Then, fortunately, I did go back to sleep until my alarm rang.

The only bad thing is, when I got up I could no longer remember what I was going to write about.  So that’s why I’m merely giving you a dramatic account of my trials and tribulations whilst I was sleeping.

Has that ever happened to you? What have your sleep troubles been?

April 3, 2008 | | Tags: , , , , | 30 Comments »

How Could It All Go Awry

     Normally, I frequently tell people that I have no life.  I usually have quite a lot of time to just sit around staring either into cyberspace or at the t.v.  I can just let my mind go blank until inspiration suddenly hits me upside the head and I come up with a topic to blog about.

Unfortunately, I’ve just been too freakin’ busy to do nothing for any length of time.  Between solving another murder, going to a trade show, and catching a flick with the sister (not to mention driving through a blinding snow-storm for two-and-a-half hours just so I could crash in my own bed); I’ve barely had time to get three or four hours of sleep.  I certainly haven’t had time to get into the kitchen to prepare custom sandwiches for all of The Redneck’s faithful Beer Buddies.  But I promise I’ll get to them real soon.  I’ve got a three-day-week-end coming up so maybe I’ll even be able to go out and visit some other cyber-spaces.

But now, I have to go wash the dishes.

March 18, 2008 | | Tags: , , , | No Comments »

An Evening of Murder: Forever Friends

forever-friends.jpgI apologize for not being at The Redneck for a couple of days, but I have a good excuse. I was called down to Calgary; my Facebook friends Kelly and Kev needed my help to solve a murder mystery. This also gave us a good excuse for a dinner party.

 As we ate we determined what happened; a man named Bobby was murdered and his eight friends were the prime suspects. In order to find out who the killer was each of us had to “become” one of the suspects. Kelly was Cynthia Masters, the editor of a women’s magazine. Kev was Peter Simmons, owner of the Old Lodge where the murder took place and all of us suspects were staying. Kristy was Patricia Collins, international stewardess. Sue was Bess Andrews, a former beauty queen, now confined to a wheelchair due to a car accident. John was Joe Barley an undercover police officer. Kelly’s dad was Bill Bishup a former football player forced into early retirement due to an injury. I was Michael Roth a “whiz kid” computer programmer/designer. Sandi was supposed to be Wynter Newly, the spoiled daughter of a wealthy industrialist. Unfortunately, due to illness, Sandi cancelled at the last minute. However, we still needed someone to get into Wynter’s head in order to properly solve the crime; thus I decided to get in touch with my feminine side and I became this woman as well as Michael. It was a mind expanding experience.

As we became our characters, we discovered that not only did we have connections to one another (apart from attending the same college), we also each had a motive for killing Bobby. But who did the actual deed? Well, you’re just going to have to purchase the game, gather eight of your friends, eat some food drink some Blue Beaver Beer (or, I guess, some reasonable alternative) and solve the crime for yourself. Who would have thought murder could be so much fun.

December 10, 2007 | | 8 Comments »