Better Than Facebook

Is there someone from your past that you have lost contact with.  Perhaps someone you went to school with or a former co-worker or maybe an ex boy/girlfriend.  Have you recently found yourself wondering what they’ve been up to recently or maybe how they look now.  Do you want to know personal information about them without them finding out that you’ve been inquiring?  Then you need to become a member of the brand new Stalk-Book.

With Stalk-Book you can find out where your ex is working now.  You can find out the home address of that cute waitress who wouldn’t even give you the time of day when you were working with her as a dishwasher.  Maybe you want to find out what route that hunky water delivery boy drives so that you can follow him discreetly to watch as he flexes his big sweaty muscles and bends down to pick up those heavy water jugs.  Join now to find all of these people that you could never bring yourself to approach in real life.

Basic membership is free.  All you have to do is provide your own personal information including; name, maiden name, former aliases, current address, last five addresses, last seven jobs, all schools attended, make, model and license number of personal vehicle as well as any company vehicles, and work, home and cell phone numbers. Your personal information is stored on your own page along with all the photos ever taken of you.  Our privacy policy ensures that your page can not be viewed by anyone that we do not approve as a member.

Anyone can become a member of Stalk-Book.  After your membership is approved you will have access to any other members’ profile pages.  You can search using any name you know the person by.  In some case you can also use descriptive phrases, provided there is adequate information.  For example: “that hot blonde chick who worked as a server at Shenaniganz from June 1999 to October 2000” will narrow down your options quite a bit.  However, “that hot guy I saw at the mall on Tuesday” is far too large of a parameter.

If you wish to purchase our Platinum Membership (for only 169.95/year) you will also have access to the regular times that other members usually take a shower as well as any and all videos featuring our members that have ever been uploaded.  At Stalk-Book we pride ourselves on being a better service for finding people without alerting them to your interest than Facebook and MySpace combined.

December 15, 2009 | | Tags: , , , | 68 Comments »

Re-imagine This You Meatheads!

The other day, I was hanging out over at The Rundown.  Our Beer Buddy, Manodogs, was talking about an upcoming remake of the Wes Craven classic, House on the Left.  It got me to thinking about all of the recent and upcoming remakes, not just of horror movies (the guy who directed Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” video is going to be helming a Nightmare on Elm Street remake) but also of all the “classics“.  For example; Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly will star in Saturday Night Fever, Will Smith will direct a new Karate Kid and Zac Effron will fill Kevin Bacon’s shoes in a “re-imagined” Footloose. There are plenty of rumours on the internet about all of these, so I decided that I would start my own rumour in hopes that it would get passed around and eventually some movie studio exec would decide that it is really a good idea and would go ahead and make the project.  Now all of you will be my witnesses that I thought of it first and then I can get an Executive Producer credit on the movie.  So here’s the rumour that you can all pass along to anyone who will listen.

It was recently announced that a major Hollywood studio has secured the rights to produce a complete re-imagining of the classic film Casablanca.  According to an inside source, McG (of Charlie’s Angels fame) has been tapped as the director.  Early information has pointed to Will Smith assuming the role of Rick Blaine made famous by Humphrey Bogart, the female lead is expected to go Jennifer Lopez with the role of the piano player Sam being taken over by none other than Bruce Campbell. Although nothing has been confirmed yet, Will Smith’s people have indicated that “he may be open to” doing an unnamed project with McG.

Now, personally I completely support what Hollywood is doing with all their remakes/re-imagining.  Why bother putting a whole lot of time and effort into creating something original when you can just take what someone else made, put one or two new twists on it, modernize it and then put you own name on it.  That’s much easier.  I do it all the time in the kitchen at The Redneck.  I just remake something that I saw on the Food Network and then say it’s my own.

February 14, 2009 | | Tags: , , , , | 18 Comments »

Quiting Smoking, Second Hand Gum and Non-Chewing Sections

It is the age old problem of how to quit smoking. More and more people are turning from smoking to new habits. While this makes the anti smoking groups and petitioners extremely happy, new addictions have risen up that threaten our very way of life in North America.
Many ex-tobacco-users have turned to gum as a substitute for their problems. Just like alcohol, gum can cause rude, boisterous behavior and also leaves a toxic, gummy residue on countertops, floors, under tables, and in ashtrays. Many people also lose the ability to keep their mouths shut while they chew gum, so that they appear to be chewing their cud like a cow.
Anne Tartica, a waitress at a Red Deer diner, expressed disgust at gum left on plates and tables and on the carpet. “I don’t understand how come these people are so inconsiderate. The smokers were never this much work. Ciggarette butts don’t stick to everything. And who knows what the effects of touching this gum might be. Can’t these people use hypnotherapy to quit smoking instead of gum?”
Scientists working around the clock in the Condor Research Facilities have come up with startling evidence that exposure to secondhand gum can have very bad effects.

Apparently, chewing gum that has already been used can lead to low self esteem. A test subject forced to chew secondhand gum over a period of weeks develops irritability, sleeplessness, poor hygiene, hostility, and eventually will attempt to commit suicide.

Gum chewers themselves are at the most risk. Prominent Condor researcher Bill Lowney has discovered that longterm effects of gum chewing could be that your insides will get gummed up. Anyone who has been gummed up knows how bad this can be.

Based on this new research, restaurants might want to put new non-chewing sections in, where customers can be assured that they won’t find gum on the floor or under the tables.
New government taxes on gum will soon be in effect and many will feel that their habit is too expensive. When it comes down to feeding the children or blowing bubbles, the children usually come out on top.

October 22, 2008 | | Tags: , , | 81 Comments »

Weird Al Yankovic at the Redneck Bar & Grill on July 31st

That’s right! Weird Al is going to be paying The Redneck a visit this week. Ernie goes way back with Al, and he asked the King of song parody to do a special private show for us and a few patrons while he’s in Alberta this week.

I don’t remember if I ever told you the story of how we met Weird Al, all those years ago in downtown Calgary. We were walking along, enjoying the  sites as we dodged street people and politely refused to buy baggies of stuff from scruffy looking alley vendors. There was a Weird Al concert that night, and we were just killing time and waiting to go see our favourite performer live. Ernie had his lucky Weird Al t-shirt on in preparation for the big event.

A guy wearing a hoodie up over his head was walking toward us with his hands in his pockets, and he stopped in front of Ernie and said, “Nice shirt, man.” We suddenly clued in that this was Weird Al! The rest, as they say, is history.

You may recall our experiences last year at the Weird Al concert in Calgary , and the hot Spanish chicks we ended up with. Weird Al even sat briefly at our table! I bet you’re jealous now. Ernie also wrote his thoughts about Weird Al’s Calgary Concert.

I haven’t got to the best part yet, though. Then one day Ernie was walking through the Forest of Ubangme, just trying to get a tan, and he found Weird Al, stranded in the middle of nowhere. It seems his Segway ran out of juice, and he had lost his cell phone. Fortunately, Ernie was able to call for help and Get Al’s crew out there to pick him up. While they waited, they shared a  glimpse of the rare Slouching Tiger amongst the trees. Al promised to do a favour for Ernie someday, and Ernie decided to try to get Al out to the horseguard Valley.

I know Ernie has sent out special invites to certain people out there. However, I think that anyone can find the Redneck Bar And Grill is welcome to get in on the fun.

July 26, 2008 | | Tags: , , , | 7 Comments »