…then, according to Jeff Foxworthy, you might be a Redneck. However, what if your lawn furniture used to be part of your van? What does that make you?
And what if you dismantle your washing machine with a shovel? What does that say about you? (Incidentally the ultimate goal of that was to make a fire pit; in case that makes a difference to your perceptions.)
So there you have it. Next time you need a smork, you gotta go outside. It used to be you could smork anywhere, but now all these goody two shoes, non-smorkers are crimping your style. What is this country coming to? You can buy a pack of smorks anywhere, but they make you feel like a criminal for smorking in public.
Well, you could always get help to quit smorking. Get hypnotized or use the patch. And if you just can’t stop smorking using these methods, you’ll have to leave the building.
I remember back when I used to have that nasty habit. I was outside the mall one time, smorking my guts out, and some woman walked by and gave me a look of utter disgust. She obviously thought I was just a stupid smorking idiot. Not that long ago you could smork inside the mall. There was a special smorking area that all of us disgusting smorkers had to hang out in. Ah, the good old days, when you could smork whenever and whereever you liked.
Warning: Explicit pictures of cougars. Anyone who is too young to be looking at such things should navigate away immediately (yeah, right; like that’s going to happen).
I started thinking about how popular our wet beaver photos are, and I figured there’s lot’s of men (and some women) out there who I’m certain would like to see pictures of hot cougars.
There’s one picture of a cougar sprawled out in the sun without a stitch of clothing on and also a picture of some cougar on cougar action. These will get your pulse racing without a doubt. Enjoy.
Take a look at this picture. Can you spot the mistake this redneck guy is making while fixing his truck? For now we will forget about the mistake he made picking trucks. That green is absolutely horrid, but not unsafe unless it makes other motorists throw up and crash.
If you guessed that his welding machine should have been a Miller, that’s not it. While I agree that Millers are good machines, you don’t have to have one for the work he is doing right now, and that one will make perfectly safe welds.
If you guessed personal protective equipment, that’s not it either. True, leather chaps and coveralls would give him more protection, and this is a source of frequent workplace injuries, but he really doesn’t need it to work on his own stuff.
All right, give up? I’ll tell you what concerns me here. This dumba$$ is welding right beside the gas tank! He could blow himself up! I can’t believe you didn’t spot that.