Like most iPhone users, I’m an addict. I check email, facebook and Twitter. I like texting, and when I’m at loose ends I might play a game or two on my phone. With all of these fun activities, it is so tempting to continue texting and using the phone while I am in a vehicle, even if I’m the driver. It doesn’t seem that dangerous, does it?

Well, the evidence shows that texting while driving reduces your reaction times to a 70 year old driver, or worse. Texting is responsible for a lot of traffic accidents, many of them resulting in death. Society needs to find a solution to this problem.

Safecell can help drivers make the right choices. If you start up the Safecell app when you start your trip, it tracks your position and notifies you of local laws regarding cell phone use in vehicles. When a text or call comes in, Safecell will warn you of the potential consequences of picking it up while driving.

But the best part about Safecell is that it records a users cell phone use while driving, awarding points for safe behavior. Users can eventually trade these points for all sorts of rewards, with vendors such as Apple, Amazon, Barnes & Noble and many others. 500 points are valued at $5, and the users of Safecell get a point for every safe mile driven.

With all of the great rewards available, it is an awesome way to earn an iPod, Amazon products, even travel vouchers from a cruise line. At the same time, the roads will be safer in places like Alberta, Canada. It’s a win win situation, so please, check out the Safecell Application and see if it’s right for you.

Otter lets phone users control their texting in a vehicle in more than one way. There is a really good video which shows the features of Otter, better than I can describe them (check out the Otter video here). GPS based motion sensing technology allows the user to set Otter to block incoming texts and calls, if so desired.  While the vehicle is in motion, the Otter app will silence alerts and ringtones and allow the driver to focus on the task at hand, driving. At the same time, customized reply messages can be created which allow users to inform callers and texters that they aren’t being ignored, and their message will be returned when safe.

Parents can set Otter to do these functions in their teenager’s phone, with a password. This allows parents to set ground rules for their driving aged children to keep them safe behind the wheel, eliminating temptation.

My personal opinion is that spouses should be able to passcode the phones of their husbands and wives with the Otter application to keep them safe behind the wheel, not just teenagers. Everyone seems to be in denial about how dangerous it is to be a distracted driver. Yes, teenagers are texting and driving, but so are housewives, salesmen, and truck drivers!

I would love to try out Otter myself, but unfortunately that isn’t possible on the iPhone at this time. Apple, get with the program and help us have this functionality! You don’t want Android to get the drop on you, do you? Texting and driving is a safety issue, and phone manufacturers are enabling people to make poor choices. I think all of the companies which put phones on the market should be trying to eliminate cell phone use by drivers.

According to one website, Edgar, Snyder and Associates, a law firm specializing in representing injured people,there is a lot of hard evidence that cell phone use and texting played a big part in a lot of car crashes. They claim that “in 2007, driver distractions, such as using a cell phone or text messaging, contributed to nearly 1,000 crashes involving 16- and 17-year-old drivers”. That is statistics where only those in that age group were involved, and only those that admitted to or were specifically seen using their cell phone. These statistics don’t count 30 year olds, for instance, and almost all the 30 year olds I know think it is perfectly fine to text while driving.

Another statistic from that same site claimed that in 2008, “at any given moment, over 800,000 Americans were texting, making calls, or using a handheld cell phone while driving during the daytime”. That is a scary amount of distracted drivers. If you drive in North America, it seems pretty likely that you must be one of the culprits since it is so wide spread. What are you going to do about your behavior?

Apparently, between 2001 to 2007, an estimated 16,000 distracted drivers were killed in the U.S. because of texting or using a cell phone. The numbers sharply increased after 2005, as cell phone subscriptions rose. This sounds like a no brainer. People are dying, simply because they don’t have their mind on the road. I haven’t found the statistics for Alberta yet, but I am sure that distracted drivers in Alberta are just as much of a problem.Everyone needs to be proactive, not just with their teenage son and daughter, but with their own actions. I’ve texted behind the wheel. I have to stop. Right now. What are you going to do?

More recently, Alberta legislation has been seriously considering passing laws to punish those who drive while distracted, and this includes texting while behind the wheel, as well as any cell phone use. There are valid reasons for laws that restrict electronic device usage by drivers, and everyone should be willing to save lives and property damage by going along with the law.

I myself have always been fascinated with bizare text messaging deaths. While it does at first seem improbable, text messaging can cause your death, and not only from driving distractedly. It can also lead to painful events if you don’t forward a texting chain letter. That’s right, not only do you receive legitimate and incredibly important life altering messages by text on your cell phone. You can also receive chain letters, junk mail texts and spam texts. Beware of the consequences, if you should happen to just delete that chain text…

Driving while distracted by texting seems like it is just as bad as driving while impaired by lack of sleep. Every year many Alberta drivers hit the ditch, other vehicles, and wildlife because they were foggy with sleep deprivation. What’s the difference between being unaware of your surrounding because you are texting or because your eyes were shut for a few seconds? A car crash is a car crash, even when it is no ‘accident’.

A vehicle incident that happens when you are watching a movie while driving is definitely no ‘accident’ either. This is negligence, operating a motor vehicle while impaired by stupidity. There is no way a person can claim that they didn’t know better than watching a movie while driving. The only way a person could be more negligent would be to talk or text on the cell phone, while eating, while watching a movie on your laptop computer, while driving. Alberta’s Worst Driver, here we come!

Over the years, I’ve witnessed some pretty stupid driver behavior on Alberta highways. More than once I’ve seen men with shaving cream on their faces, driving and using the rear view mirror to shave with a bladed razor. Women use that same mirror to put on various makeup items behind the wheel. These people need to get a life and use their time more efficiently. The rest of us take care of our personal grooming in the comfort of our homes, not in the comfort of our vehicles while traveling above the speed limit on a busy road. Why should these people risk the lives of others that they share the road with, just because they can’t be bothered to get up early enough?

Everyone eats and drinks coffee or other beverages while driving. It’s pretty common to pass someone on the road chowing down on some sort of food, and that’s fine with me. With the use of common sense, I don’t really see a problem with that. Of course, extremely messy foods can spill and cause a distraction that could end up spilling blood on the highway too. It remains to be seen how far the law will go. Eating an apple behind the wheel seems much less hazardous to me than eating any sort of foods that require dip, for example.

What I do have a problem with is blatant stupidity. I recently saw a driver with a laptop precariously perched on her dash, watching a movie. There is so many things wrong with this that I can barely understand the thought processes that led to this. First of all, with the screen of the computer in the way, how in the world could anyone properly see the road ahead? This was a fairly big screen, not just a little netbook, so vision was indeed impaired. Second, what if she hit a bump and it fell on her or slid and hit the floor? Almost anyone would swerve and possibly get in trouble if their laptop fell down while they were watching it. And third, why in the world would anyone think it’s okay to watch a movie while they are driving?

To make matters worse, when this person was first spotted watching a movie while driving her vehicle, she was also talking on her phone, and eating! This activity has to seen as hazardous by anyone. No matter how good of a driver you think you are, you can’t react properly to road hazards if your viewing area through the windshield is reduced, your brain is preoccupied with a movie, you are having a conversation on your cell phone, and you’re eating. Even Chuck Norris can’t pull this one off!

Seeing this horrible example of thoughtlessness made me wonder if there isn’t a problem with multitasking. These days, everyone seems to think they can’t live without being plugged into some sort of electronic device at all times. In our society, it is pretty common to see people of all ages texting and walking, texting and driving, textng and eating, texting and talking. Couples can be seen texting while sitting opposite each other at a restaurant, silent except for the clicking of tiny buttons.  It boggles the mind. Are people texting while they make love too? I have no doubt that somewhere right now, a bride to be has interrupted her own wedding ceremony because a text came in on her crackberry. And of course, there will be a pall bearer somewhere that has to drop his end of the load because his iPhone just let him know the all important text god is calling his name.

It seems to me incredibly lame that no one is capable of driving from one point to another and maintaining full concentration on the road. Alberta drivers aren’t the only ones that text and drive, it is a wide spread problem. I wonder, how many people have died from texting while driving? But driving is only one part of our lives that are affected by this need to keep oneself preoccupied. Most people can’t stand silence, can’t be alone, and seem even afraid of it. The claim they are “bored”, but I think that really they are afraid. Afraid that without all of this technology, without texting, and without constant activity, they will be alone with themselves.The majority of people must not like themselves very much if they are so afraid to be alone with their own thoughts. Why else would they not even be able to quit texting and driving?

Prove me wrong. When you drive down the road, put your cell phone down and concentrate on the road. Especially if you are sharing a road with me in Alberta, Canada. I don’t want some lousy distracted driver causing an accident that might kill me, my wife, my children, or anyone else I know. I’m sure you don’t want to be responsible for killing anyone either, so please strap on a pair and quit it. And for the love of Pete, don’t watch a movie while driving. That’s just silly, as well as dangerous.

Her newest one, “Alejandro” is a little bit more…less out there; but only by comparison. It still features some crazy costumes, like for instance a machine gun bra (come to think of it “Bad Romance” has her wearing some sort of a sparkler bra that sets fire to a bed and the guy laying on it; maybe the lesson here is: keep your hands off of Gaga’s ta-tas). For some reason, “Alejandro” reminds me of Madonna’s “Like A Prayer”. I think it’s partly the sacrilegious imagery and partly the overall sound of the song (which I am just beginning to notice after about a dozen viewings).

Regular viewers of Much Music’s Video On Trial will know that Lady Gaga is a “repeat offender”. I believe that every one of her videos been “brought to justice” at one time or another. The jurors comments are usually very crass, but still funny and even kind of accurate. One thing they’ve pointed out, that I’ve also noticed, is Gaga’s changing appearance. Sometimes she looks like a very attractive young lady and other times she looks more like John Leguizamo in drag. In “Bad Romance” she has at least three different faces. There have also been rumours about her being a trans-sexual; I don’t believe it though. She dances around in just her bra and panties in every one of her videos. I’ve examined these scenes very closely (just so that I could write an educated piece) and I certainly have never seen any sort of…evidence which would support that theory and lead me to become confused and question my own sexuality (like what happened when I watched “The Crying Game”).

So, Lady Gaga, your videos are like a proverbial train wreck; I just can’t look away.

Say, something just occurred to me. What if Lady Gaga and Marilyn Manson did a video together? What would that look like?

You can identify people who have Celebrity Alcoholic Syndrome by watching for the symptoms: they eat cheeseburgers off of the floor, forget to put on underwear then expose themselves when they get out of a car, use racial slurs when arrested for drinking and driving, their shows/personal appearances get canceled by their publicist due to “exhaustion”. Also, anyone who makes out with Madonna has a very serious problem that needs professional help.

As you know; Dr. Drew, working alongside reality t.v., has been doing everything he can to try to cure the “Z-list” celebrities. However, he is only one man with one reality show. We need more celebrity “doctors” and far more shows.

To help with this important cause, The Redneck Bar and Grill will be distributing ribbons that can be worn on you lapel or put on the back of your car in order to show your support for finding a cure for Celebrity Alcoholic Syndrome. We want to get as many of our patrons as possible wearing these puke-green ribbons to help raise awareness. As well, The Blue Beaver Brewing Company will be launching a new advertising campaign; “When you’re feeling blue, grab a Beaver. But if you’re a celebrity, please grab your Beaver responsibly.”

Then you go over and start screaming for your life. From there it’s more ups and downs, some wild corners and you even get turned completely upside down a few times. Soon you start to think, “Oh God, when will this end?!” I can’t take much more! I should have gone on the nice, slow, quiet tea-cup ride instead.”

Finally, though, you get to the end and you’re right back where you started. At which point you think, “Gee, I wish that had lasted longer and I wish I had thrown my hands up in the air a few more times.”