I always picture Gurus sitting on a bed of nails, playing some weird instrument to a dancing snake while a rope hangs in mid-air and a flying carpet carries a blue genie with hoop ear rings slowly by… yeah, I know. That is a Fakir, but that’s what I see in my head.

I know that isn’t an accurate representation of a guru, especially Steve, the Trade Show Guru. So, what does Steve do, if he doesn’t sit around all relaxed and such on a bed of nails playing music for poisonous reptiles?

By Day, Steve works for a company selling trade show displays.

By night, he dons his heroic cape of justice and fights crime in his fair city. And, in his spare time, he pursues his online ventures. Such as the Trade Show Guru, an interesting blog about all sorts of topics including trade shows, movie reviews, parenthood, and more. He also works on Pinnacle Displays, a web site about portable trade show displays.

As if that isn’t enough, Steve comments on quite a few blogs. He can be counted on for insightful, relevant and interesting comments. Here are just a few from this blog.

“reminds me of the Seinfeld where Kramer has a horse-drawn carriage and feeds the horse a gallon can of Beef-A-Reeno (he got a case of it at Costco and doesn’t know what to do with it). Anyway, based on what happened to the horse I would definitely rather sit on the horse than behind the horse!”

“PS. Please be sure to use a waterproof stamp on my envelope with the beer in it. I wouldn’t want the stamp coming off in the mail because the beer got the envelope wet.”

“You know I like reading this blog because of your video picks, but I can’t believe you’re condoning vandalism. Didn’t you see those bad girls spray-painting graffiti on the car? Am I the only person around here that believes in the law? Those girls need a spanking! Am I going to have to do that too? Well, if I must. I also saw them jumping on the bed, which everyone knows is a big no no. Looks like a double spanking!”

Steve has been all around an awesome visitor to the Redneck Bar and Grill, and he knows his Strange Brew. In light of this, we are sending him a complimentary beer basket, via Gmail. This one will have all the usual ingredients, such as ice cold Blue Beaver Beer, Sliced dried rhinoceros pizzle, and three fried beans. As a special treat, we managed to locate some extra hot Habanero jelly, since we know just how much Steve enjoys the spice of life. Thanks for visiting and drinking our beer, Steve!

Having trouble deciding what to get for that buddy of yours and running out of time? Many people out there have trouble picking gifts. There are few things more dreaded than not being able to locate a present soon enough for that special day or big event. Fear not, we have a solution for you. We have searched high and low to discern what may be the most universal gift of all.

Beer baskets are the near perfect item for anyone on your list. Other than an AA meeting or a baptism, you can send one of these babies to any gathering and someone will enjoy it. Oh, and guys? Probably no good for your wedding anniversary. On the other hand, ladies would be well advised to get these for their men, who in general would be ecstatic to receive such a perfect bundle. If you can wrap the beer basket in with a 56″ Flat Screen Plasma, all the better.

Birthdays? Great Match. Even if the one who is having a birthday is underage, doesn’t like beer (weirdo!) or is on some medication that counter-indicates alcohol consumption, a beer gift basket will still come in handy. Little Bobby might only have 5 candles on his cake, but his Daddy might love a Blue Beaver Beer at 5:00 in the afternoon. Depending on how many of the little weasels are at the party, there may be more than one adult there in need of a brew. You yourself might quaff several beer while enjoying the ‘company’ of other people’s toddlers. And what a great way to liven up Stanly’s 65th birthday; maybe he will tear things up a little!

Wedding gift openings could really use a beer basket to tune things up a little. After opening presents with towels, toasters, soap dishes, pillows, fancy eatin’ dishes, blenders and what have you, the groom needs to see something that is mainly for him. Let’s face it, he’s just sitting there suffering quietly through the bride’s gift opening. None of that stuff is for him, so imagine how much he will appreciate your thoughtful Blue Beaver Beer Gift Basket.

Funerals. A lot of family members really want a drink at times like these. Tact is needed to determine if a beer gift basket is appropriate for a particular individual or family. A grieving young widow who is left with no father for her young children is a bad match. But if you are going to the wake of Uncle Frank, who was known to hoist a few in his time with his pals, you might be able to get away with it. These bereavement beer baskets might be quite popular if they also contained some stronger spirits as well.

And lets not forget Christmas! Not getting along so well with the inlaws? Get them a gift packed with the goodness of beer and see if they warm to you a little. Hopefully they won’t decide you are completely beyond redemption (you wastrel!).

One of these baskets might contain more than one variety of beer or just a specific brand. They usually also contain delicacies such as gourmet crackers, beef jerky, salted peanuts or mixed gourmet nuts, samples of gourmet cheeses, dried rhinoceros pizzle and other unique snack items. Some baskets come in a beer bucket, a galvanized or stainless steel bucket big enough to hold twelve beer. These reusable containers might serve as a cooler for years after.

So next time you are stuck for a gift, order up a beer gift basket. Even if the intended receiver is unhappy with it, a re-gift will certainly work out. The very best of these of course contain Blue Beaver Beer, although if necessary you can just put any old beer in there to match the recipient’s tastes. Please think before hand to decide if the gift will be welcome. Your ninety year old Aunt Florence might like a warm pair of slippers instead. Or, she might surprise you and ask for another personalized gift basket next year!