With the holidays fast approaching, gift ideas and shopping are on almost everyone’s mind. It can be challenging to find the right gift for everyone on the list. You might find yourself struggling. Well, what a lousy time of year to feel under the gun. Of course, your friendly bar owner here is gonna recommend booze! I can tell you how to make a beer gift basket that will be remembered forever.

A personalized beer gift basket can make a great Christmas or birthday present. You can order them online from many different gift basket sites, and maybe even buy one locally. But what if you don’t want to spend that much, or there isn’t enough time left before Christmas to get it delivered? And what if you can’t find one that has the right ingredients, the ones you want for that ‘special’ person?

Fear not, it is easy enough to build one yourself. I will give you a brief description of how to make a beer gift basket; the rest is up to you.

First, you need a basket. This can be misleading, since all you really need is a container strong enough to hold the beer and other items. It doesn’t have to be an actual basket. Many of the ones sold online use a stainless steel or galvanized steel bucket. If you do choose a tradition basket, make sure it can handle the load. Try to find something clean and aesthetically appealing as well. I guess what I’m saying is, forget about that KFC bucket from last night, chicken grease won’t add anything positive to your gift.

Your choice of beer is the next consideration. You can never go wrong if you pick your recipient’s favourite brand. For instance, 90% of the world’s population would prefer Blue Beaver Beer, so that is always a good choice. For the more adventurous, you could select a variety of unusual or imported brews, such as Weasel Whiz or Moose Drool.

Other items to go in your beer basket could be any sort of snacks that go with beer. A lot of people prefer to stick with traditional snacks, such as roasted nuts, cheeses, beef jerky, potato chips or sliced dried rhinoceros pizzle. Alternatively, you could find some real gourmet foods to test out, such as a bacon flavored choclate bar.

What else? How about beer mugs, or personalized beer coasters? A small photo album of all the parties you were at with this person? A hangover kit? A small booklet of Christmas Poems?  Or, adult part gifts? (be careful on this one, the inlaws might not appreciate a gift basket of the adult nature!)  You will have to use your imagination, but I am sure you can think of a few unique twists you can put on the whole beer basket idea.

Final touches could be cellophane paper or fancy wrapping paper, bows, etc. I’ll leave that up to someone who actually knows how to wrap stuff good; that’s not me! My wife usually shoves me out of the way to do it herself. This is awkward when the gift is for her…

There you have it. Now you know how to make a beer gift basket. I hope you will use this powerful knowledge only for the good of all, and never let it slip into the hands of evil!

I always picture Gurus sitting on a bed of nails, playing some weird instrument to a dancing snake while a rope hangs in mid-air and a flying carpet carries a blue genie with hoop ear rings slowly by… yeah, I know. That is a Fakir, but that’s what I see in my head.

I know that isn’t an accurate representation of a guru, especially Steve, the Trade Show Guru. So, what does Steve do, if he doesn’t sit around all relaxed and such on a bed of nails playing music for poisonous reptiles?

By Day, Steve works for a company selling trade show displays.

By night, he dons his heroic cape of justice and fights crime in his fair city. And, in his spare time, he pursues his online ventures. Such as the Trade Show Guru, an interesting blog about all sorts of topics including trade shows, movie reviews, parenthood, and more. He also works on Pinnacle Displays, a web site about portable trade show displays.

As if that isn’t enough, Steve comments on quite a few blogs. He can be counted on for insightful, relevant and interesting comments. Here are just a few from this blog.

“reminds me of the Seinfeld where Kramer has a horse-drawn carriage and feeds the horse a gallon can of Beef-A-Reeno (he got a case of it at Costco and doesn’t know what to do with it). Anyway, based on what happened to the horse I would definitely rather sit on the horse than behind the horse!”

“PS. Please be sure to use a waterproof stamp on my envelope with the beer in it. I wouldn’t want the stamp coming off in the mail because the beer got the envelope wet.”

“You know I like reading this blog because of your video picks, but I can’t believe you’re condoning vandalism. Didn’t you see those bad girls spray-painting graffiti on the car? Am I the only person around here that believes in the law? Those girls need a spanking! Am I going to have to do that too? Well, if I must. I also saw them jumping on the bed, which everyone knows is a big no no. Looks like a double spanking!”

Steve has been all around an awesome visitor to the Redneck Bar and Grill, and he knows his Strange Brew. In light of this, we are sending him a complimentary beer basket, via Gmail. This one will have all the usual ingredients, such as ice cold Blue Beaver Beer, Sliced dried rhinoceros pizzle, and three fried beans. As a special treat, we managed to locate some extra hot Habanero jelly, since we know just how much Steve enjoys the spice of life. Thanks for visiting and drinking our beer, Steve!


We’ve sold literally thousands of our world famous Redneck Beer Gift Baskets, and there seems to be no end in sight to how many we will be sending out. We also send them out to unsuspecting victims, I mean, people who really deserve them, as a gift for just being so cool.The next beer gift basket we send will be addressed to JD at I Do Things.

JD deserves gifts just for making us laugh so many times. I snickered for a good two days over her post, I Am Famous (and More!), where we learned of her deep seated desire to squeeze plump birds. Bird squeezers everywhere can thank JD for coming out of the closet on this taboo subject.

What else do we know about JD? Well, we can get a glimpse of her personal life in  I Like Porn So You Don’t Have To. She also loves the marshmallow pieces in Lucky Charms, so much so that she removes some of the regular cereal to increase the marshmallow to cereal ratio. Tell me if that isn’t magically delicious!

And we know she sometimes has “nude beach adventures”after reading I Went To The Ponderosa Sun Club. In fact, if you only read one thing at I Do Things, you have to read about their naked visit to the snack bar at the Poderosa club! I laughed so hard I couldn’t breath properly for minutes. If you are at all interested in the nude lifestyle but are afraid to try it, JD might be your window into a brave new world. One thing I know for sure, I will never run into JD (or anyone else!) on a nude beach. I am quite happy letting her do the nude beach thing for me.

There is so much more at I Do Things, that you will just have to head over there and find out yourself. I don’t think you will be disappointed.

For JD’s beer gift , we are going all out. We will have most of the items we listed in The Ultimate Redneck  Gift Basket, and a few more. Since JD just lurves cherries, we thought we’d put a few of those in there. We also put a couple Canadian Maples as well as a dozen red velvet cupcakes in the basket. And of course, Blue Beaver Beer. When you’re feeling blue, grab a beaver!

Thanks for the laughs, JD.

A couple weeks ago, I was driving down the Whitemud in Edmonton, Alberta. I was in the big city picking up supplies for our world famous Redneck Beer Gift Baskets, and was just on my way down to the Forest of Ubangme to get a new tiger torch for Ernie’s kitchen.
THis white full sized cargo van pulled up beside me with two young men, both clean cut but a little exitable looking. It was one of those vans that doesn’t have windows down the sides, just white metal and the barn doors in back. They were pointing at my truck and pointing to the side of the road. Neither one looked dangerous or overly large and intimidating, so being curious I pulled over and got out of the truck.
“Snap! Do we have a deal for you,”The driver said. “Come look at these babies we got in the van! A high quality sound system, real cheap!”
He opened the back door, and sure enough he had a few boxes in there, one of them opened up. I could see a high quality speaker in there, just like he said.
“Whatya think, man? We can give these to you right now for real low prices. I got most of a sound system for any bar in here!”
“Are these hot?” I asked, knowing full well they must be.
“Not really. WE ordered 1 set, and the delivery truck unloaded 2 sets at the warehouse, so we got an extra set. These are worth a pile. You can have them half price!”
I was a little torn. The Redneck Bar and Grill could use a new bar sound system,badly. And the price was right. Even so, stolen speakers and sound system components could only get me in trouble, and it was wrong.
“Sorry guys, I don’t need anything like that right now. If you give me your name and number I might get back to you.”
They just looked at each other, jumped back in their van and made a break for it.
I went on my way, sans stolen goods. But, they got me thinking that maybe I could use a new sound system for the bar. I decided to look into a set of pub or bar speakers etc.
I heard later on the radio, that a few warehouse workers in Edmonton. got busted for helping themselves to some stereo and electronics components.