Recently, whilst enjoying a bite at Stratosphere Las Vegas, I became deeply lost in thought. When I eventually found my way out of the nigh-endless maze of my own mind I thought I might write down some of the things that I had uncovered in there.
Running the kitchen at The Redneck Bar and Grill, from time to time I hear unusual requests from our customers ( I‘m sure Corrina knows what I’m talking about). One day a lady told the server that she had just been released from the hospital after receiving a bone marrow transplant. As a result she was extra susceptible to any food borne bacteria, so she asked that her Italian sausage and marinara penne be extra thoroughly cooked. Now, I want to point out that our kitchen is maintained at the highest level of cleanliness that it possibly can. However, if I was in a situation where I was as vulnerable as this lady I would want to make certain that I knew everything that was going into my food, and I would want it prepared by someone who loved me and truly cared about my health instead of taking a chance that my meal was made by some teenage boy who was far more interested in either texting his girlfriend or the plunging necklines of the servers’ blouses.
Also we quite often get people in who say they are allergic to gluten. Please don’t mistake me here, I am not making fun of anyone with Celiac Disease or other allergies (in fact a close acquaintaince of mine is allergic to peanuts; if he has any he breaks out in a rash, but just on one part of his body, one very specific, very personal part of his body, and I would never dream of making fun of him). However, if you tell me that you are so allergic to something that even so much as one molecule will kill you; then I’m sorry but, again, you may want to prepare your own meals. In a busy kitchen there are all kinds of things just floating around and you never know where they might land. You wouldn’t want to end up with allergy induced asthma.
Then again there are some customers who will order something like a mushroom-cheeseburger with fries and then ask you to not salt the fries because sodium is the devil. But I guess the processed cheese, ground beef and deep fried potatoes are perfectly healthy.
Personally, if my own health was as precarious as some of these people claim theirs is, I think I might spend every day just sitting at home eating celery, drinking super-purified distilled water and playing board games. But then again I’d have to be extremely careful that the sharp edge of the race car or the top hat didn’t puncture my bubble.