John was having this great dream. It started out with a night on the town, drinking Blue Beaver Beer with two hot blondes at the Redneck Bar and Grill. They played pool and Buck Hunter and drank more beer until the place shut down.

John was just getting ready to take the two blondes home with him when waves crashing on to the shore rudely pulled him back to reality. With a start he remembered the yacht trip, how they encountered the storm, and how they had abandoned ship in the middle of the night. The rest was a blur.

He was now on a tropical beach with jungle in the background. No one else could be seen. It was just like a scene out of Lost or the movie Castaway. It looked like John was going to be camping it out in paradise.

While sitting on the sand getting his bearings he noticed his hands were purple. He looked at his feet and they were purple. In a panic he opened his shirt and his chest and stomach were purple. He looked to the sky and yelled, “Oh my God! I’ve been marooned!”

Camping means different things to different people. To some it means roughing it all the way – hiking in five miles, lean-to’s made out of branches, sleeping on the ground, eating pork n’ beans right out of the can with your fingers after you smash it open with a rock ’cause  you forgot the can opener. Those people aren’t me. These days we use a travel trailer so we don’t have to sleep on the ground anymore. I have a lot of back troubles, and I need a real bed or I’m just not having any fun. We don’t have a television set or a DVD player, but we do bring our share of technology with us.

We spent plenty of time camping in Sebekia last summer. There were between 3 and 5 families each time we went out, meaning we had up to 12 children stampeding around the campsite. Add to that 5 dogs (good thing none of us has a dog allergy) and 10 adults, and it becomes a pretty busy place.

On occasion, we had to fire up the ‘ole chitty chitty bang bang, my antique PC laptop, and see what was going on out there in the real world. Thanks to the invention of the aircard, hi-speed internet can be found anywhere you can get cell service, even in our Redneck Paradise. I never take my Mac camping. It doesn’t like to rough it, even when I pack it in one of those special computer backpacks with extra padding and a gajillion pockets for extra goodies.

You can probably imagine how hard it is to fit everyone around the campfire. With all the kids crowded in there with their chairs, it makes for some excitement. As long as no one gets a flaming marshmellow in the face, or a a jab with a hot dog stick, we consider the evening a success. A couple of times we built two separate fires; one for children and one for adults. The toddlers stay with the adults of course!

Some nights the alcohol consumption is a little high. It’s amazing how much Blue Beaver Beer a bunch of redneck campers can drink! But most of the time we are a pretty mellow bunch of campers. We camp pretty close to home so that every couple of days we can all toddle off to our respective farms and make sure all the livestock and whatnot have enough food and water. We rarely go to a conventional campsite, since we like to make up our own rules and get away from all the other people. Our private campground is fairly isolated and we don’t have to worry about intrusive campers making noise all night and such. Unless we stay up late and do it ourselves, that is!