Have you ever thought about how you would like to leave this earth? What would you like as a memorial? Who would you leave your prized possessions to?
I’ve come up with an after death plan for me, just in case should I ever need one.
First, I would have to be cremated. Just make sure I’m dead. Hey, that reminds me of a joke……..
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Two hunters are out in the woods and they are walking along looking around for something defenseless to kill. Jim is having a lot of trouble breathing and is in really poor shape, probably due to his all meat diet. His friend Bob keeps having to wait up for him and is starting to wonder if Jim is gonna make it, what with his big fat belly. “Hey Bob, you sure need to lose 10 pounds,” he calls out jokingly.
All of a sudden, Jim holds his chest, starts wheezing and falls to the ground, no longer making any noise at all. Bob panics at first, then grabs his cell phone and calls 911. By some miracle, he actually gets reception out in the boonies. A woman on the other end answers, and Bob says, ” You gotta send help. My friend Jim had a heart attack and I think he’s dead!”
The dispatcher says,” Calm down, sir. The first thing you have to do is make sure he’s dead.”
She hears, chkk chickk, BOOOMMM. Jim says on the phone, “Okay, now what?”
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Where was I? Oh yeah, I was dead. Okay, next I need to be cremated and my ashes taken to the headwaters of The Mighty Horseguard River, right south of Horseguard Glacier. I know there’s probably some rule against it, but if my ashes were spread in the water, later downstream I would become part of the famous Blue Beaver Beer brewing process, which uses pure glacial runoff as well as many other esoteric and wonderful ingredients.
Then there would be a big send off in the campsite in the park, with beer and a potluck dinner. And a contest! Whoever could catch and ride one of the wild horses of Horseguard Valley would get my most prized possessions, my stuffed rat and my Bubbles Powerpuff Girl doll. My wife wouldn’t want to part with them, she loves them so much. I am sure, however, that she would respect my wishes.
