I saw an article in the paper the other day that caught my eye (and you know how painful that can be).  LaToya Jackson is saying she believes that her brother was murdered by a group of conspirators who are trying to get hold of his fortune.  She went on to say that she knows who is responsible and is determined to bring them to justice.

I guess now that Michael is gone, LaToya wants to be the wacko one in the family.  I’ve heard reports that Michael didn’t have any money due to the various lawsuits against him.  Supposedly, that was the reason behind his fifty concert dates in London.  He was attempting to earn enough money to pay off all his debts.

As long as we’re making up crazy theories; allow me to present a more plausible one.  If any celebrity was murdered by a group of conspirators for his money; I would think it would be Ed McMahon.  Some people wanted to get their hands on his Publishers Clearing House millions.  They whacked him, made it look like natural causes and then they must have worked out some way to get the money.  I don’t really know all the details, I am hesitant to name anyone who is involved and I certainly don’t have any proof; but that’s the great thing about conspiracy theories.  A person just has to say that they believe that there was a conspiracy and then challenge everyone else to disprove it.  If someone says, “An autopsy confirmed that it was natural causes.”, you can just respond by saying, “That’s what they want you to think.”  Who can possibly argue with that rock-solid logic.
But then again, maybe it wasn’t a group of people.  Maybe it was a lone gunman.  One person who finally grew tired of hearing about how he “might already be a winner” but never actually won anything.  He just snapped and went after McMahon, causing a series of injuries over a number of years; the cumulative effect of which eventually resulted in his death.

So, as I mentioned before; we just celebrated Canada Day.  Seeing as it fell on a Tuesday this year it wasn’t technically a long week-end.  However, a lot of people who were higher up in the pecking order of their companies were able to take Monday off as well as Tuesday.  A lot more people were able to beg their employer’s for a four day week-end, and everybody else just called in “sick”.  So basically the whole country did get extra time off.

Now what’s interesting is that everybody complains that gas stations all increase their prices just before the long week-end.  Ask any consumer and they will tell you it’s a huge conspiracy; but any oil company executive will tell you it’s just simply the law of supply and demand.  Regardless of the fact that these evil scum-dogs are always lying, I couldn’t help but notice that the gas price did not increase (at least around the parts) last week-end.  However, as I was driving home from work yesterday (Friday) I discovered that the price had risen by 4 cents per litre.

I thought that it was quite odd that the price would go up after the long week-end; but then I suddenly realized that Friday was Independence Day down south of the border.  Thus it is a long week-end for our American neighbours.  So in other words it is a huge conspiracy, it’s just that the evil American scum-dogs are in charge of it.

But I won’t hold that against all of the fine upstanding people down there who are also suffering from the effects of the aforementioned conspiracy.  I will raise a Blue Beaver Beer and salute you as you celebrate the anniversary of the day that Will Smith saved the country from the alien invaders who tried to destroy everything.  Have a great long week-end everyone.

Build a hydrogen generator and produce your own hho fuel!