I have had a few customers asking me, “Where’s Ernie? Who is this biker dude you have cooking in the back? Is Ernie gone for good?” And lately, I have been getting phone calls from concerned patrons who haven’t seen me lately either. Life has been more complicated for me, and less complicated for Ernie, so pull up a stump and I’ll let you in on our whereabouts.
Ernie has gone on hiatus indefinitely. He decided he needed a big change in his life, and went to live at a wilderness retreat in the Forest of Ubangme with no power, running water or internet. The only modern convenience he will have is a weekly shipment of Blue Beaver Beer, to be delivered by horse drawn wagon. I was sad to see him go, but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. I told him he’s going to have to hike out and borrow the forest ranger’s laptop once a month or so and let us know how it is going out there.
Ernie whipped up a batch of salad before he left, and it was spectacular. Not quite to die for, but certainly all that and a bag of chips. Bacon and broccoli salad, with a tangy Balsamic tomato vinaigrette dressing.We had a little gathering at The Redneck to send him off, and his salad was a big hit. Apparently it is a great cure for yeast infection in dogs, although that’s just a rumour from Old Man karhoffer. I tend to let sleeping yeast infected dogs lie.
About this same time, I realized that my credit card debt was way out of control. According to my credit reports, I was headed for a major disaster. I have been frantically trying to keep up with all the Blue Beaver Beer Basket orders by purchasing on my mastercard. Now, it seems the card is indeed the master. In need of a quick fix, I took a job working away from home to make extra money on a major pipeline near the Alberta Saskatchewan border. I will be out here for a total of 60 days, working 11 hours a day. Hefty workload, but I’ll be out of debt in no time.
Meanwhile, some of you might be thinking, what the heck is going on down at The Redneck Bar and Grill? Is the place boarded up, with a couple hobos lighting fires on the floor and drinking all the beer? Of course not! Our buddy Robert Jones is working behind the bar. We found a cook to take Ernie’s place, and our waitress Jackie can handle most of you rowdies out there. I’ll be stopping by online to keep an eye on things. If you stop by, have a Blue Beaver for me!